200 Feet

Hi!

I love this poem and the thought behind it and personally, I think the best poems are those written about personal experiences. While I don't know the full story of what happened to inspire this poem, as a reader, I was able to understand and relate to all of the many emotions you brought out through your writing- the stress, nervousness, anxiety. I also really liked the language you used and the way you positioned the "thump"s. The idea of counting down the feet also creates a nice effect.

The poem first starts with a very lighthearted feeling and I kind of thought of the nervousness one feels around a crush but as I read on, that was replaced with a much darker sense of discomfort and "dread". While I love the subtlety of this change and respect the fact that stanzas might break the continuity of the experience you have described, I feel they would add a little clarity and depth to the poem. Just something to think about.

Overall this is a really great poem with such a nice style and a uniqueness added by the personal touch. I look forward to more of your amazing poems in the future. Keep writing

Hi/ Namaste
I really liked the thump you created in my heart while I was reaching the end. It was really good.
In the mid shore I imagined it as a race where we are close to the winning point but suddenly someone is behind us, close to overtake our position.
But as I got near the end it was similar like one of my dream where I was running against someone and like the door of freedom you mentioned I had a turn on the subway.
I could feel exactly what you tried to mention in this work. It was really good and make me remeber of few moments of my life where I was running against something in a fear that I would be caught by it and there is just a single hope for me to be safe if only I cross that invisible line and be in a safe zone.
Your writing method is really good and I really liked your work.
Thankyou/ Dhanyavad

OOOH okay so this is a really interesting poem! I didn't expect that ending but I certainly enjoyed it! I think the poem can be freely interpreted in a lot of ways because I'm sure everyone has a different definition of "the gate of freedom" and I love that space you have given us!

Another favourite part of mine is the repetition of the "thump thump"s. I just love when repetitions are done well in poetry and this is included! However I was wondering why at some lines there are more thumps than in others: was it to slow the pacing or perhaps show that there is a large distance?

I hope this memory isn't haunting you too much and that you feel better about the whole thing now!

Thank you for sharing and keep growing <3