Bad Girl

For it's length, I did like this work more than I thought I would. I mean, internal struggle stories are always great, and they don't require much dialogue--just a conflict within oneself and a conclusion drawn from it.

First, the things I may not have liked as much:
-"I love you just the same and you will always be my baby, I just don’t know what to do when you open yourself to me." Okay, so the first sentence was italicized, which doesn't really make sense to me. Is she saying it to the aforementioned lover? Is she simply thinking it? In that case, is the second line something other than her thoughts? I don't know, it just seems weird to me.
-"A glance over my shoulder and my eyesmeet with that of an attractive stranger." Eyes meet.
-"I’m not happy when I act this way…

I’m just a Bad Girl…" While I like her confirming the lovers' mothers' suspicions morosely, I don't think you need to say "I'm not happy when I act this way". Show, don't tell. You've shown us she's brooding and morose, we don't need to be told she doesn't enjoy what she does.

Other than that, I thought this was decent. It's a quiet little story about mistakes made in a relationship and the self-awareness one might have of being a burden to their lover. I also especially like how I came in thinking the protagonist was a man (because Drinking Husband Stereotype) and came out with a very solid and somewhat three dimensional woman. Very nice subversion.

Signing out. -EM.

I really liked it. I could really relate to The character, even dough i have never heard the song. It gave this old fashioned style to it and an intriguing ending. I really enjoyed it.
I would give a little more description after the pool table. But i loved the rest.

Hello Eferhilda

I enjoyed this story. Though not a fan of Madonna, and having never heard the song referenced, I still enjoyed it. That right there is an immediate sign of a competent writer - being able to avoid alienating readers. You have created something that most people can understand, and even relate to. Though we know very little about this character, we can still identify with her and understand her feelings to a certain degree. The story itself is intriguing, and makes me want to know more about this character. The shortness, however, allows for this intrigue to emerge, but keeps the story from getting overly preachy or too developed to the point where the audience feels either anger or sympathy towards the main character. It simply allows us to come to our own conclusions, which is something I admire.

Technically speaking, the writing and language use in this is average. Nothing too complex, minimalistic details, and very little descriptions. Typically, this would detract from a story, but I find it lends itself quite well to this piece.

I hope this review helps, and have a nice day.

~Cirute

Before I say anything, I'd like you to know that I have never listened to this song before, so everything you wrote was like a fresh new story to me.
Now that that's out of the way, I liked it. It was interesting to be able to read the thoughts of someone who is going through a difficult relationship and knows that they are the problem yet they keep doing it. There are a few things that I had to readover twice, but other than that, it was well written.
I did get a good slap in the face when I realized that the protagonist was gay/bisexual. Not that I am against it (I'm bisexual myself), but the fact that I, without a doubt, started out believing that the main character was straight showed me, personally, how I still have that mind set. Good job on your part.