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Young Writers Society



A New Fanfiction: Final Fantasy 8 (Chapter 5)

by Dynamo


(Here's chapter five! I was a little tired when I wrote this so please don't mind if any of the writing seems a little sluggish.)

“Thanks, Tylor. You saved my life.”

“If we want to pass this exam all of us have to make it out alive, am I right?” Tylor asked with a smile.

Squall actually smiled back. “…Right.”

Tylor looked over to Seifer and glared. “If the squad captain was doing his job and helping his squad members in the fight this wouldn’t have happened.” Seifer humphed and turned away.

Selphie ran over to Seifer and asked, “Squad B captain? S’cuse me! I have orders!” Seifer faced her and listened to what she had to say. “All SeeD members and SeeD candidates are to withdraw at 1900 hours. Assemble at the shore!”

“Withdraw!?” Seifer exclaimed, “There are still enemies around!”

“I know, but I’m just a messenger.”

Squall states, “An order to withdraw takes priority. I don’t want to miss the vessel.”

“What time d’you say?” Seifer asked Selphie.

“Like I said! All SeeD members and SeeD candidates are to withdraw at 1900 hours. Assemble at the shore!” she repeated.

Tylor says, “That only gives us thirty minutes, we have to leave now!”

Seifer says to everyone, “You guys have thirty minutes to get down to the shore! Better run!” Seifer ran to the lift.

“Heeey!” Selphie exclaimed, “Wait for us!” Seifer ignored her and started the lift, leaving them behind.

“Who the hell does he think he is!?” Zell asked.

Squall turns to him and says, “Why don’t you ask him?” The lift came back up to the platform a few moments later. “Let’s go.” Together they took the lift back down to ground level. When they came the inside of the tower was dark and hard to see in. Now the entire place glared with lights on every wall.

As they walked out of the tower Tylor remembered something very important that he forgot, the giant robot that chases them down to the beach. Just as he realized this, a piece of metal fell from the platform above and hit the ground beside them.

He ran up to the others to warn them. “Guys, we have to get out of here, now!”

Squall sighed, “We know, Tylor. The boats are going to leave in twenty five minutes.”

“No, you don’t understand! A giant robot is going to attack us if we don’t leave right now!”

The others stared at him like a mad man. Zell asks, “Giant robot? Dude, what are you talking abou-” His sentence was cut off by a tremendous thud behind them.

Tylor was the only one who could see it; the others were facing the other way. The giant robot X-ATM092, code name “Black Widow” is standing right behind them. It is a large, four legged robot with scorpion-like pincers. Its metal plating is black, grey and red. Smoke billowed from large holes at the top of each of its legs. Its sensor eyes glowed with a frightful red light.

Tylor knew this monster is invincible, so the only option he has is to run away. “RUN!!!” he shouted as he dashed away as fast as he could. The others slowly looked over their shoulders to see the killer robot standing right behind them. The robot let out a terrifying screech that sent them all running after Tylor.

They ran through the mountain pass as fast as they could. The robot chases after them. As they passed the place where they met Selphie they ran down the cliff-side pass. The giant robot’s footsteps caused the group to stumble and lose their balance. The robot came up to the to launch its attack but Tylor appeared and slashed it with his swords.

As he kept the robot busy he shouted to the others, “Get going! I’ll hold it back!” The others nodded and ran off. Tylor cast Thundara on the robot, the spell caused it to stumble. Once the others had a safe distance between them and the robot Tylor ran off to join them.

Tylor caught up to them as they began their way across the bridge. The robot was gaining on them. When they got half way across the bridge the robot jumped and landed in front of them, blocking their path.

A yellow light began to glow from the front of its body. Tylor yelled to the others, “DUCK!!” The others ducked just in time to miss the robot’s beam attack. The beam blew up the bridge behind them. Now they were trapped.

“What are we going to do!?” Selphie asked.

Tylor whipped up his magic and said, “It’s a machine, short out its circuits with Thunder magic!”

Tylor began the assault by casting Thundara. The others cast they’re normal Thunder spells to add to the attack. After their first attack the robot charged them. It lifted one of its giant legs and dropped it on top of Tylor. He rolled to the right just as the leg came down. The robot’s leg imbedded itself into the bridge.

As it struggled to free its leg Tylor ran up and chopped off one of its giant pincers with his sword Armageddon. The robot let out a mechanical screech as it freed its leg. Before it could attack the others attacked again with another barrage of Thunder spells. The robot last its footing and fell on its underbelly.

Tylor looked to the others as he put away his sword. “Now, while it’s immobilized! Let’s climb over it and get down to the beach!”

The others followed Tylor’s lead as they climbed over and ran into the city. Soon after the robot got back to its feet and chased after them again.

They raced through the Central Square and down the street toward the beach. The robot stepped on, and destroyed a car as it chased after them. They reached the bar with the bridge overpass. Squad C came out and saw the robot. “Squad C, withdraw!”

One of the squad members replied, “Roger!” as they ran off to the beach. Tylor and the others ran after them, the robot knocked down the bridge as it chased after them.

They were only a few blocks away from the beach. As they approached the archway that led to the stairs he stopped and looked behind him to see how far away the robot was. He nothing was following them. He wasn’t out of danger yet so he kept running.

That moment the robot smashed through a nearby house only a few feet away from Tylor. He used his arms to shield his head from the rubble. He never slowed his pace.

He ran under the archway and followed the others as they jumped down to the sand instead of using the stairs. The robot smashed its way through the archway and caused Tylor to lose his balance and land face-first into the sand.

Tylor lifted his head and saw the boat at the end of the beach. The robot spotted him in the sand and went after him. Tylor quickly got back to his feet and started running. The drop was too much for the robot so it lost its balance and fell as it stepped down to the beach. Tylor caught up to Squall, Zell and Selphie had already made it to the boat.

Squall tripped on a rock and fell. Tylor stopped to help but just as he turned around he saw the giant robot getting back to its feet and charging them. Tylor forcefully pulled Squall to his feet. “Come on! Were almost to the boat!”

Together they ran to the boat with the robot biting at their heels. Zell called out to them. “Hurry up!” The boat began to slowly pull itself off of the shore and into the water.

Tylor looked over his shoulder to see the robot, but in doing so he stumbled in the sand and fell. Squall stopped to help but Tylor yelled, “Keep going!” Squall nodded and ran the rest of the way to the boat.

Tylor pulled himself to his feet. The robot was only a few yards away and closing the distance. Tylor ran as fast as he could, his legs burned with exhaustion as he ran to the boat. The boat was already leaving the shore so he had to jump just before entering the water or he wouldn’t make it in time.

Once Tylor’s foot touched the water he jumped as far as he could. Time seemed to stop as he flew through the air. He thought, Am I going to make it? Am I going to make it? The giant robot had closed the distance between it and the boat.

Machine guns roared to life on the boat’s turret as Quistis pumped the robot’s body full of bullets. The robot staggered but kept on coming. Tylor grabbed the edge of the boat with his hand as the rest of his body splashed in the water. Zell and Selphie grabbed both his arms and pulled him on board. Quistis kept her fingers glued to the trigger as the robot tried to attack the boat. The bullets didn’t seem to be doing any good. The robot lifted itself up on its back legs as if to grab the boat. One of its leg popped off from being shot at and altogether it fell helplessly into the sand. The red glow in its eyes faded.

Tylor watched the final moments of the battle as the boat’s hatch closed.

The boat arrived in the harbour of Balamb thirty minutes later. No one said anything during the ride back. When the boat docked they filed out one-by-one.

Someone called out as Seifer left the boat. “SEIFER!” Fujin and Raijin ran down the dock to greet their friend. “How’d it go?” Raijin asks.

Seifer sighed. “Man… all they did was get in my way. Being a leader ain’t easy.” Zell tried his best not to punch Seifer in the face and it showed.

Fujin asks, “SAFE?”

Seifer shrugs his shoulders and sighs. He heads down to the parking lot, Fujin and Raijin follows him.

“Good job!” They all turn to see Quistis leaving the boat. She looks at everyone and asks, “Where’s Seifer?” Squall points to the parking lot to show Seifer and his friends getting into the car. Quistis looks back at them. “Just be back at Garden by sundown. You’re free ‘til then. OK, dismissed!”

Just as they enter the parking lot Seifer takes the car and drives away, leaving them behind. Zell yells out, “H-HEY!!!” He slumps and says, “Not again, man! There goes Mr. Ego…”

“Might as well walk it.” Squall states.

“Or…” Tylor suggests, “We COULD always rent a car.”

“Good idea.” And with that they made their way through the town.

As they walk through the town’s narrow street they pass by a few houses. Zell stops and says, “Hold on, I gotta say hi to my Mom.”

“Alright,” Tylor said, “we’ll wait here.”

Zel walked into one of the houses. “Hey Mom, I’m home!”

A few minutes later Zell came out. “Alright, let’s go.” They continued toward the edge of town.

They arrived at the rental car store just beside the town’s exit. They came up to the receptionist. Squall asks, “We would like to rent a car.”

“Yessir. The price is 3500 gil.” Squall took 3500 gil from his pocket and handed it over. The receptionist took it and said, “Thank you, have a safe trip.” One of the employees drove a car out of the garage for them. Tylor go into the driver’s seat and together they drove all the way back to Balamb Garden.

Tylor stopped the car just outside the front gate to let everyone out. Zel stretched and let out a big yawn, “Huuuwahaah! Finally made it back…”

Selphie replied, “Seriously…”

“Well, I guess we just wait for the test results.”

Tylor said from the driver’s window, “You guys go ahead, I’ll park the car.”

“Alright, see ya guys!” Zell walks away.

“See ya.” Selphie walks away with him.

Before driving into the parking lot Tylor says, “Hey Squall.”

“What?”

Tylor smiles. “You did good out there.”

“You too.” Knowing he wasn’t going to get anything else out of Squall Tylor revved up the engine. “Tylor, wait.”

Tylor looked to him from the driver’s seat. “Yeah?”

Squall crossed his arms. “You said you would explain how you knew where all those soldiers were when we got back. I’d also like to know how you knew about that robot.”

Tylor smiled as he shifted the car into gear. “Simple, I’m psychic.” Before Squall could say anything else Tylor drove off into the parking lot.

When Tylor left the parking lot he saw Seifer and Squall talking in the lobby. He crept up to listen in.

“D’you hear about the Communication Tower in Dollet?” Seifer asks. “We would’ve been heros if it weren’t for that withdraw order.”

At that moment Quistis and Xu came up to them. “You were only looking for a fight.” Quistis stated.

“My dear instructor. I’m hurt, those are rather cruel words for an aspiring student.”

At that point Tylor decided to put in his two-cents worth. “Cruel or not, they are words that need to be heard, Seifer.”

Seifer turned to him. “What do you know, new boy? This doesn’t involve you, so why don’t you just-”

Tylor cut him off. “It does involve me! It involves me, Squall, Zell, Selphie, and everyone else who took part in the exam! Your reckless actions put us all in danger! And why? So you can be a hero? Heroes don’t put others in harms way just so they can look good. No, that’s what cowards do!”

Tylor expected Seifer to yell out and hit him but he just stood there, taking it.

“That’s enough, Tylor.” Headmaster Cid approached the group and told Xu and Quistis to leave. He turned to Seifer. “Seifer, you will be disciplined for your irresponsible behavior. You must follow orders exactly during combat.” Cid began speaking in a softer voice. “But I’m not entirely without sympathy for you. I don’t want you all to become machines. I want you all to be able to think and act for yourselves. I am…”

A Garden faculty member approached and addressed Cid. “Headmaster Cid, you have some business in your office.”

“There are so many issues at hand here.” Cid walks away to his office.

Tylor looks back at Seifer. He had his head down and was shaking. He looked as though he were trying to hold back his tears. As Tylor walked by he said to Seifer, “You had my respect once, now you have lost it, coward.” Without another word he made his way to the second floor where they would be announcing the people who passed the exam. Squall followed silently behind.

As they rode the elevator Tylor asks Squall, “Think you’ll pass?”

“I don’t know.”

Tylor smiled. “To tell you the truth I’m pretty nervous myself, too.”

Squall looks to Tylor and asks, “Why did you say all those things to Seifer?”

Tylor stayed silent for a moment. “…Because he had to hear them. The only way he can learn is through failure and humiliation.”

“It sounded a little more personal than that.” Squall replied.

The elevator reached the second floor. As Tylor walked out he answered, “It is.”

All the students that took place in the SeeD exam were waiting in the hallway. Fujin and Raijin were even there. Zell paced back and forth nervously.

Tylor approaches Zell. “S’up.”

“Hey.”

Zell explains, “Said they’re gonna call out names, one at a time.”

Just then one of the Garden Faculty members entered the hallway with a clipboard in his hand. He read from the clipboard, “Zell, Zell Dincht.”

Zell literally jumped for joy when his name was called. “Ohhhh yeaaaaah, BAAAAAABY!!!” He waved to the others as he pranced off. “See ya!”

The staff member continued. “Squall… Squall Leonheart from Squad B. Please step forward.”

He didn’t say anything as he left.

He continued, “Tylor, please come forward.”

Tylor’s heart jumped into his throat when he heard his name. Without a word he went with the others to the elevator.

The faculty member finished, “That is all. Dismissed.”

Tylor, Squall and Zell all got into the elevator and rode it up to the third floor where Cid resides in his office. They saw Selphie when they got there. It seems as though all four of them had passed. Cid’s office is a large room with a giant window that constitutes for 75% of the room’s walls. Cid sat in a throne-like chair in the centre of the room.

The Garden faculty member that took his place standing beside Cid announced, “These are the four students that passed today’s exam.”

Cid stood up from his chair. “First of all, congratulations. However, from now on, as a member of SeeD, you will be dispatched all over the world. We are proud to introduce SeeD Balamb Garden’s mercenary soldiers. SeeD soldiers are combat specialists. BUT, that is only one aspect of SeeD. When the time comes…”

The staff member interrupted him. “Headmaster… it’s almost time for the meeting. Please make this short.” The man took a few steps forward and told the group, “SeeD is a valuable asset to Garden. It’s reputation is solely dependant on each one of you. Handle your missions with care.” He turned back to Cid. “Is that what you wanted to say, sir?” Before Cid could say anything the staff member said, “Here is your SeeD rank report!”

Cid walked up to everyone one-by-one and handed them a piece of paper. Before moving on to the next person he whispered something into the ears of each of them. As he got around to Tylor he handed him his SeeD rank report and whispered, “Psst… Psst… (You are a valuable asset to Garden, the best we’ve had for a long time. I’m looking forward to seeing how far you’ll sore.)”

Cid went back to his chair. The Garden faculty member said, “This ends the SeeD inauguration. Dismissed!” They all left and rode the elevator back down to the second floor.

Once they arrived Zell said, “Yo! Tylor!! Let’s go back to class.”

“Why?” Tylor asks.

“What do you mean, ‘why?’ Don’t you remember what new SeeD members do?”

“Indulge me.”

“They give a speech in front of the entire class! And after that, the inauguration party!”

As they approached the hallway to the classroom Selphie skipped and sang, “SeeD! SeeeeD! SeeeeeeeD!”

Seifer, Raijin and Fujin were waiting for them as they came back. Zell prepared himself for a fight. Seifer stepped forward and slowly started clapping. Raijin and Fujin joined in. Pretty soon everyone was clapping for them. Tylor took this moment to take a look at his report:

Conduct: 80 Pt.

Judgment: 70 Pt.

Attack: 80 Pt.

Spirit: 100 Pt.

Attitude: 90 Pt.

SeeD Rank 9

“As a SeeD member, you will be paid a salary at regular intervals. The salary is determind by SeeD rank. SeeD rank goes up according to your actions in battle. Some actions will cause you rank to go down.”


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73 Reviews


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Wed Oct 31, 2007 10:01 pm
deleted1 says...



Its better the your last chapter, that's for sure.

I feel that you kinda mixed up the report and yes, godmodding characters are bit overpowered. Though i will keep reading to see if YOUR actions cause the game to drift in another direction.




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Sun Aug 26, 2007 4:18 am
ninja-Z wrote a review...



you still need to fix the past and present tenses...-_-........

When they got half way across the bridge the robot jumped and landed in front of them, blocking their path.


"halfway" is one word.

there are other grammar mistakes, and you are repetitive a LOT.

Tylor and the others ran after them, the robot knocked down the bridge as it chased after them.

runon, but maybe you can add and

overall, it was an interesting chapter. g'job!




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Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:35 am
the-candyman says...



I like these games, but I haven't played any of the games so i dont know about the powers. I'm more of a halo guy. :backtotopic: great job




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Wed Jun 06, 2007 2:51 pm
Dynamo says...



Ah, yes... god modding, my biggest flaw. Well, I want my main character to have awsome attacks to make the fight scenes really cool. But let's not forget how he was slammed into the side of a satellite dish by the Elvoret while trying to save Squall and nearly blacked out. I don't want to spoil everything but there's a reason in the story why he's so strong, but you'll find that out later, suffice to say he gets his ass handed to him the first time he fights the main antagonist. But, I'll work on toning down his powers to make him seem less of a god and more of a human that can use magic and summons monsters to his side. Thanks for the critic.




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Wed Jun 06, 2007 7:01 am
Achitaka wrote a review...



Okay I have been reading your Fanfic since it began but I have just been to lazy to post anything so... here I go.

Okay the biggest problem I see is the character Tylor. He seems way too powerful in my eyes. I mean he wields two blades that are supposed to be super powerful alone. He can use magic like Thundara, while all the other characters can still only use Thunder. I think you should have held off on some of his strengths or made it a part of his character development so he would slowly gain this strength not just have it at the start. Unless you are going to give him a very big flaw, and I stress very big. I would try to make it so he isn`t as powerful later in the story.

Tylor says, “That only gives us thirty minutes, we have to leave now!”


Now I`m not sure on this one, it sounds a little wierd to me. It sounds like a playwrite style of writting. I think you just need to glace over your typing to just check for little thing like this.

But besides than I`m liking the story, keep it up.





Half the work that is done in this world is to make things appear what they are not.
— Elias Root Beadle