Published June 1, 2008
The trees are blooming their bright flowers
Under the sprinkle of spring showers.
They open their eager faces up to the sun
With the winter's cold long since gone.
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141,447 Literary Works • 674,460 Reviews
I really love this!
I is excellent and I love your use of imagery.
You have a great poetry talent
and, I am not being sarcastic!
this poem, for me was just o.k., it wasn't great, and i'm not saying that because it was short. yes it was about the trees blossoming and rain, but i think if you re-write this poem to be at least ten lines or more, about the same thing it would b good
keep trying
and remember never give up you can do it
---Jon---
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I love reading short poems, that whilst are straight to the point use imagery and ideas. That's whats happening here.
I love the personification of the trees and their awakening much as we do. One smal point is that (I don't know if it is intended as rhyme), but 'sun' and 'gone' don't really rhyme, and it sort of disrupts the rhythm. But well done!
Sday
Wow. Short sweet and to the point. WELL DONE!
I really thought it was just amazing the imagery you used in such a short poem. Now a days, short poems are very cliché and have forced rhyme seems, but yours seemed very original and I did not feel that the rhyming was forced. I love the line "They open their eager faces up to the sun." The personification in it is just wonderful.
Good job!!!
Josh
Yeah, it does kinda seem a little short. But hey sometimes a great many things can be said, short and sweet. Like the word "yes" can answer in so many words, a decision. Like you have an image of this pool of summer. It is a very good piece, for a beginning. It can be expanded upon to great heights, it seems like you were going along the lines of simple though, so best not tamper with genious. (yes I misspelled that and I am a nice critic)
Yay! I actually understood what this poem was about. I can't say that for some poems. Anyway, I liked it.
Beautiful, it's nice to see poetry can still be pretty when short. This has so much, and I like how it's so simple yet so much is said. Terribly amazing. Nothing more I can say other than well done for achieving on a writing a a worth while short poem. Other than that, not much more to say.
Overall: This earns a star, god I'm giving everyone stars today lmao. Oh well, great poem.
Good luck
VSN
Laetitiaaaaaa!!!!!! Hi!
This was really, really, good! I'd just add in one word in the last line... Like:
With winter's *insert word here* long since gone... cause it would make it the same length as the other lines. But its great as it is too. I'm glad you're here! See you soon!
I liked this.
... That's amazingly weird, it was so incredibly short.
It seemed like a haiku, only I hate haikus...
I think one thing I'd like to point out (and I'm sort of picky but it's only a suggestion) the comma at the end of Line 1 doesn't need to be there. In fact, if you read it aloud and know you need to breathe at commas and periods... it cuts the sentence in half. Same goes for the end of Line 3.
KNOW that just because it's the end of the line doesn't mean it needs commas.
I'm sure some of my work was like that, but eventually once you know what you want to say and you can hear the voice in your mind you'll place the punctuation appropriately.
You learn it with time.
But I did like this personification of trees upon spring after a winter.
Keep it up.