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Afraid

by Dustbunny14


Some people, they’re afraid of spiders, others seem to be afraid of public speaking. Then you have clowns, geez, I don’t like clowns but… At night, lying in bed, the only thing I’m afraid of is being like everyone else.

“You know you could get a girlfriend… But you act like you…”

This is the fear which truly terrifies me. The fear of being like someone who is forgotten, who has left no mark on the world. I’m afraid of being like so many of those around me who simply want to… Just, live their life I guess, they don’t have a fire in their heart that is burning, pushing them on, forcing them to keep going when everything else is lost.

“Look, it’s not that I don’t believe in you… It's just, I’m worried about you. Being a writer isn’t an easy thing.”

Me? I fuel the fire in my heart with countless pages of paper I’ve written stories on. The good pages, the bad ones, doesn’t matter, they burn, and the fire gets bigger. The brighter my fire is, the less darkness there is around me. That means I can’t live without writing, it keeps me safe, it keeps me alive.

“You wanna be a writer? Wow, that's… That's disappointing. I want a job that’s ambitious, and challenging…”

I’m afraid, and that’s what makes me strong. I’m afraid of being like the people who don’t believe in me, who don’t care about dreams. I’m afraid of being like them and that is why I am not. I’m not one of them…

“What you’re trying to do isn’t realistic.”

Good thing I write fiction. I’m not afraid of the unrealistic, I’m afraid of the people who believe that there is such a thing as “Realistic” I don’t want to be them. I need my reality to be what I make it, man was created in the image of God, and just as God creates, so can we.

“You’re a writer? Yeah… That's, yeah… Cool I guess.”

Another thing I burn in my fire, are the memories of those who are against me, who underestimate me, if even for a second. I take their words and I burn them to ashes. Their doubt is my fuel, their fear is my fire. I’m afraid, but I’m on fire.

A/N Hey guys! Dustbunny here! I just wanted to share this piece, all of those italicized comments are actual comments from real people. I wanted to write them down, let you know you aren’t the only one. Hope this is maybe a little inspiring to you. For me, it’s another page to burn.  


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Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:15 pm
XxXTheSwordsmanXxX wrote a review...



You would be a great motivational speaker. I can't say that I understand the fear of being "normal". The thing I fear is "never trying", which is difficult to explain. The fear of limiting oneself by saying, "I've never tried that, and I'm never going to because I never have." How can one learn without trying? How can one live if you do nothing but what is comfortable?

But to my review.

I have to say that there is very little to say, and yet an immense amount, about this story. It's direct and to the point. It expresses the desire to be more than "normal" in a way that every writer, engineer, and person seeking to excel understands more than breathing. Fighting against the world telling you, "You can't", "it's not profitable", "Be practical", is one of the biggest obstacles that writers have to face. More than fear, this story speaks about confidence. The determination to push through the "can't"s and "practical's for something that is only seen on the edges of our imagination. A world of fantastic creatures and foreign lands that scream of adventure. That call to us to join it in the storm of story telling.

Happy Writing!




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Tue Oct 20, 2015 2:16 am
mkphoenix wrote a review...



Hello!

First of all, this is insanely relatable to such an extent. I loved the concept of this, the emotion, the quotes, everything was really captivating.

"“What you’re trying to do isn’t realistic.”

Good thing I write fiction."

This was probably my favorite part, It's something that I've wanted to say for so long, but haven't known how to word it. Actually made me smile.

The writing in general was amazing. You were able to combine formal writing with a lot of you perspective and your point of view without making it sound childish or immature.

Loved it,
MK




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Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:23 am
CreativelyWritten says...



This was a really great piece that was relatable. I want to write. I try to write. I write in vain when I know that I have no ideas. My life's dream is to be a published writer but I view it as a sort of.... secondhand thing. I'm afraid that I'll never write something good enough to be published and so I'm trying to learn other things. This story made me... happy. It's really cool that you don't let other people's comments keep you down. Maybe they effect you, late at night like you said but yet you are fighting against it.

Favorite part for oh so many reasons that I fail to articulate: "Me? I fuel the fire in my heart with countless pages of paper I’ve written stories on. The good pages, the bad ones, doesn’t matter, they burn, and the fire gets bigger. The brighter my fire is, the less darkness there is around me. That means I can’t live without writing, it keeps me safe, it keeps me alive."




Dustbunny14 says...


Thank you so much! I think all writers fight against things like this, but what I try and do is keep a list of all the people that fight against me, and WHEN (Not if, when.) I publish my book, i'm gonna sign it and send it to them :) That's just how i try and think of things.



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Wed Sep 16, 2015 8:43 am
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Mazuurek wrote a review...



Hey there, I spotted this on the Spotlight and thought I'd drop a review.

This story isn't as much a story as a simple feedback-and-response piece, but I can see that you have tried to frame it in a coherent narrative structure, and that's unique and good. I liked how you ended the writing by going back to the metaphor of the fire (which I felt was in itself a very strong metaphor to use). It gives a sense of closure, and the final sentence, "I'm afraid, but I'm on fire." is simply a good sentence to end with.

Through this story two literary points stand out - the motif of fear and the metaphor of the fire. Both are great elements on their own, but I feel they would have been enhanced even further, and in turn would have enhanced the story even further, if you had created a more distinct link between the two. There is already a rather tenuous link you have created - that this fire is what keeps your from being afraid - but you can afford to draw it out further, whether through metaphorical terms or plainly stated.

Something that really makes this story one that people can associate with is its casual and conversational tone. This story reads as if you yourself were delivering a speech, or rather, as if you yourself were in front of the reader, explaining your fears and motivations. In this regard, kudos to you for identifying one of the strongest styles of writing to convey a message of this sort. That being said, I feel that it is imperative for you to still acknowledge and adhere to proper linguistic rules. Through the story I saw examples of run-on sentences, unnecessary ellipses and other mistakes. I understand that they contribute to the conversational tone, but bear in mind - the best conversational pieces are the ones which seem conversational even without the use of these egregious techniques. It is possible to write a conversational piece in perfect English, and have it still come off as a piece people can relate to easily. Some advice from me - consider the use of more varied punctuation such as the em dash "-" and the semicolon ";". They open up much space for variation in reading pace without coming across as egregious, and can also replace commas in some cases, making for a more varied reading experience.

All in all, I thought this was a fine piece. I'm keen to see more from you. Keep that fire going!




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Tue Sep 15, 2015 12:50 am
areproc wrote a review...



This is a really good an inspirational story. I am glad you posted this because I am sure that all writers have to experience this when they share there dreams with others.

The writing was amazing. It makes me feel like I am there listening to you tell this story, or even walking in your footsteps.

The only advice I have is when you just forgot a period after "Realistic" and "I don't want to be them." If you meant for it to be that way, then feel free to leave it, but that is just something that stuck out to me. Also, I would recommend turning, "I need my reality to be what I make it, man was created in the image of God, and just as God creates, so can we" into two different sentences. It just seems almost like a run on sentence, but if that was what you wanted there is no need to change it.

All in all, this was a really good story. I loved how you posted quotes about what people said when you told them you were a writer. Most people don't look at it as a successful career and almost look down on it, so this really makes us feel that we aren't alone and there a really are people out there who love writing more than anything. Just keep up your inspirational writing. I am sure you will go far. ;)




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Mon Sep 14, 2015 2:13 pm
tigeraye wrote a review...



Some people, they’re afraid of spiders, others seem to be afraid of public speaking. Then you have clowns, geez, I don’t like clowns but… At night, lying in bed, the only thing I’m afraid of is being like everyone else.


This is really clever dialogue.

“What you’re trying to do isn’t realistic.”

Good thing I write fiction.


This is clever too.

So, in conclusion of this ultimately short review: Really good work! It's a simple message that's well written and easy to relate to. The narrative is clever and fun to read. Nice metaphorical use of fire, also. I can't think of anything else to say, well done x_x




Dustbunny14 says...


:D Thank you so much!!



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Mon Sep 14, 2015 9:10 am
SpiritedWolfe wrote a review...



Hiya, Dustbunny! Nice little piece you've got here ~ You've nailed the strong emotion that is meant to be conveyed, and I'm sure many of us here can relate in some sense. :3 You give it such a strong and confident tone that it is uplifting in a sense, which I like. Nice job with that ^^

Now, the first thing that stuck out out to me while I read through this (and sorry to seem like a grammar nazi >.> ) is just the sheer about of run on sentences. Most of the sentences in this piece appear to be run-on, which really distracted me sometimes xD I expected it to go one way and it entirely went another. And while I love that you gave us that strong voice that needs to be there in first person, there is still a certain point where the merging of thoughts into narration breaks.

I'll give you some instances ~

The first sentence, first paragraph. wrote:Some people, they’re afraid of spiders, others seem to be afraid of public speaking.


So, I do want to mention, this is a really strong start and it pulled me in fairly quickly. For such a short piece you need that, which you did well :3 However, it reads a little rushed with only a comma to separate the first thought with the second. (And even the second sounds unsure when talking about it, so maybe just play around with the diction ~)

The third sentence, second large paragraph wrote: I’m afraid of being ... Just, live their life I guess, they don’t ... everything else is lost.


I cut out a bunch of this sentence, because you can reference it in the piece, but the part I wanted to convey is this center part, where "live their life" and "I guess" meet. Without a period there, the thought gets smushed with another one, and I have to pause for a moment to figure out what you were going for. Was "I guess" supposed to be the start of a sentence? Or just a clause at the end of one, which picks up at I don't? I feel it reads best with a period there to let that message of the first sentence sink in.

You get the point :3 Many of the run-on sentences in this piece are noticeable, so a quick comb-through should expose them ~ Next thing that I felt is it gets a little repetitious. Throughout, this narrator continually talks about being afraid of conforming to what everyone else wants them to be, or who they are. I believe that is repeated several times with just the wording changed. And it's not really boring, but it's definitely noticeable. Perhaps branch out a bit more past "not being the norm" to something else. If you don't want to be this, than what do you want to be? That kind of thing.

Final little thing that stood out and made me thing was this:

The first sentence, second to last big paragraph. wrote:Good thing I write fiction.


Up until this point, the narrator was using the thoughts as more branching off points. Taking the message of them and twisting it in a way to expand their view of thinking, which I really liked. It was done especially well ~ But at this point, it's a direct rebuttal to what this person had said before. "It's not realistic". It did rather throw me off, because it was such a big change to what had been going on before with the narrator never directly acknowledging what had been said. I recommend to push their paragraph off in a different way so that you keep that constant through the entire piece but still get the point across.

Ignorant Person wrote:“You wanna be a writer? Wow, that's… That's disappointing. I want a job that’s ambitious, and challenging…”


Last thing! Can I find this guy and make him write a publishable novel? (Or her. Could be a her.) I mean, really? Writing is not ambitious? Creating an entire world and people who interact in an interesting fashion is not ambitious? I'm just done. Done with them. >.>

Anyway! Very nice read ~ I enjoyed it and I hope you can take something away from this! If you have any questions, please feel free the ask.

Happy Writing,
~Wolfe




Dustbunny14 says...


Thanks so much for the review!



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Mon Sep 14, 2015 5:51 am
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Deskro wrote a review...



-Deskreview-

This work hits close to home. I know the feeling when people don't believe in what you believe in, because they aren't you. They don't have the courage or the ambition that we do.

I first expected the piece to read as more depressing. I remember when I was going through a phase in my life when I would lie in bed for hours, unable to sleep and just think of all the problems in my life. This however, while similar, is the opposite. The mc is stewing over things, but expectations of others that s/he wishes to subvert, rather than problems that s/he can't fix. It is a piece that shows the strength of people, which is far more satisfying to read about than our weakness.

Anyone can write about weakness and bring in emotion. It's far harder to make a character strong but still sympathetic and interesting.

Reading it, I want to be more like the character and I think more of us should take heed of the mc. We should use people's disdain to our advantage rather than let them bring us down. Let it be motivational and inspiring, just like this passage.

Thank you for the inspiration to allow me to carry on with my passion.

Deskro




Dustbunny14 says...


Thank you so much for reading!!




The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
— Groucho Marx