Shyness

This was good, especially for your first. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for not using 200 metaphors. Being a shy person by nature, this is accurate and brings up familiar emotions. I'm sure that if you're dealing with shyness, this also brings you many feelings and brand new thoughts. Great! Turn those thoughts into poetry! Literature can be your release; if you never find somewhere to come out of your shell, you'll never come out at all. You have to start somewhere, and if declaring your shyness on the internet is your outlet, you go! Suggestions I would have on an author's level:

Try to make your stanzas longer, and if you want to keep them short, I would recommend trying to make your syllables a little more together. For instance,
1st line- 7 syllables
2nd line- 5 syllables
3rd line- 6 syllables
4th line- 7/8 syllables

Whenever the end line in a stanza is longer, it seems to bring closure to the lines, rather than making the last line shorter and seeming to make the poem drag on and on. This is especially problematic when your lines/stanzas lack proper punctuation.

Good luck with whatever you do with your talents as a writer.

This poem was awesome.
You really delivered this poem in touching way.
I am not shy, but I'm sure there are many people who can really relate.
I have friends who are very shy, and often remain in the shadows.
But yeah this was a great poem
Keep writing

Awesome. You avoided the two plagues of poetry, it wasn't way to metaphorical nor was it stupidly written and cliche. It was amazing and relatable. Usually-i find anyway-that a lot of poetry is unrelatable.

I relate to this because if anything I tend to overthink and my shyness gets the best of me. The best being my personality. I think too much about what to say and end up saying nothing.

This is a great way of writing about how it truly feels to be shy, you've captured the bodily feels ngs perfectly.

Keep up the good work,

Hey, friend! Cheetah here to review!

Everyone seems to have pointed out the nitpicks already. So this will be a short review.

I loved the metaphor in the first stanza, that you want to talk to everyone, but shyness is holding you back. I think a lot of us can relate to this. I also really liked the third stanza. Sometimes I feel that way. Like I want to talk to people and I know exactly what I would say. But will I say it? Uhhh... no. Very relatable as well.

I think your word choice in the last stanza is very interesting. You say. "And I can't help but wonder if anyone can know the real me." Not will, can. Like there's a wall between you that you can't break, but also that other people can't get through.

Overall a wonderful poem. I hope to see more from you soon. Keep writing!

I LOVED THIS!
Really. I loved it so much!

Incredible! It's like you unfolded my entire life. You sit in there observing everyone, they all talk about things you really don't want to talk about. So you're forced to stay concealed. Reading this poem mirrors everything that I have to experience everyday, and will probably stay that way for a long time. Your imagery was just beautiful and on point, I could especially feel the words wanting to spill, and how you compared this tormenting feeling with water in a dam. But I'm really glad to feel I'm not alone, definitely reading your poem. A true poet! I love poetry that Is interesting, the ones I can relate to. Hope to read more of your poetry!

Wow. I can totally relate to every line, every word, every thought in this poem. You've written an excellent piece that captures the essence of shyness, how it eats away at us, how we hate it.

The only thing I'd say, if I absolutely could say anything constructively critical at all, I'd say to take out a few unnecessary words. They can block the flow of a poem. For example:

"And with them goes my pride,

And my confidence,

And my self-respect."

The "ands" could come out, as wisegirl22 pointed out in her review. And also (this is nitpicking, I know):

"But doubt prickles in my stomach..."

The "in" could be removed. It's a little thing, I know, but sometimes little things can make a huge difference. If you turn the "prickles" into an action verb, it would really drive the thought forward. The main point I'm trying to make is, action verbs are awesome, and they can be your bff if you let them

I LOVE this poem, keep up the amazing work!!

Is this really your first poem? *Gives suspicious glare* Because judging by this, you're already a pretty amazing poet!

First, the poem really pulls together well. It really lets the reader understand the mind of a shy person, and being someone who isn't shy but sort of anti social, (I consider the two personalities to be one and the same) what you've written here is accurate. Of course, that's not a requirement, and accuracy doesn't at al affect the quality of the poem, but I feel like it's worth mentioning. Think of it as... An extra compliment!

Second: I really enjoy how you emphasize the narrator's desire to be open and social, but just doesn't have the ability to.

"Desperate to pour out,

But forced to stay stagnant."

That's probably one of the best ways to put it. Awesome job!

Third and finally: I loved this poem all around. If you keep creating amazing works like this, you'll be really successful on YWS, and success equals fun! You've earned a like from me, and I hope this ends up in the Literary Spotlight, because it deserves to be known.

~The dark one.

Hello, Dusk! Welcome to Young Writers Society! I see you have made friends with Cheetah. Well, she's a nice person, so good job! I hope you become featured! *slaps back*

Okay. For the nitpicky things. I don't really get bugged by this, and this is so unnecessary it might not even be here if you were a person who liked necessary things, but why is every line capitalized? Why? Do I care? Not really. But I learned, in the poetry world, it is important to put capitalizations where they're supposed to be, and this poem isn't an example of that principle. Sorry if that was harsh, just hope you get the point. In the second stanza, you say "and" way too much, which isn't that great to start a line with. Really. You might want to change it by taking out the "and"s and leaving it like that. It's better.

The third stanza. In there is a common, mildly common mistake that some make and some are very careful of not making. The dreaded semicolon. It can trick and deceive you, even at your sharpest mind. It seems as if it is underused, but then there is a so, so, puzzling eruption of semicolons in one area your mind is blown. Some use it in random places of a comma. That's what you did here. Try not to do that, because commas are getting old, and being old means you want to be useful in some way, not worrying everybody that you're going to die soon.

"While I have resigned to living inside my own mind;

Trapped and held prisoner

By none other than myself."

You didn't do a rhyme scheme, which was perfect. I don't think a personality poem has rhyme scheme. It just doesn't sound right. If you choose to ignore all of my suggestions or som of them, I am A-OK with that. Just keep writing, and you'll be A-OK with your life, too.

-wisegirl22

Story of my life :/

I love this! I believe you truly captured the essence of a poet, and let others know they're not alone. You described every feeling vividly, yet still gave off the feeling of anxiety you wanted to express. If this is how you truly feel, I'm sure you'd make a great poet someday. Good luck to you.