Cataracts and Alleycats

Removing it.

Comments & reviews · 3
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Dunnskee Comment

Fragments done on purpose, for the style but... I did mean to change that bit about the food. I'd noticed it before. Strangely, I got a compliment saying it was one of the better lines.
I think I'll change it.

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KingKamor
Review

The second paragraph has two run-on sentences. You can easily separate both of them into two, and it should make more sense that way.

Same as above for the third paragraph, but only one.

Same as above for fourth paragraph, but only one.

"food on fire escapes for strays was harder than you’d think." This makes me think that the food for alley cats is hard. Did you mean that it's harder to find?

Other than these gripes, this both fascinated and confused me. What is meant by cataract, symbolically? Pretty interesting.

Anyway, good job, and happy writing! =3



Every empire tells itself and the world that it is unlike all other empires.
— Edward Said