I'm a simple man
With a simple a life
I can simply fail
As I can simply fly
With my simple friend and family
and at night I can simply sleep
or I can simply cry
I simply love to read
or I simply love to write
with a heart that bleeds with lover and as a man simply hate
A simple life is best at best
because simple men that lived changed the world for the best
Our founding fathers simple men with a simple dream
to have a nation of good free men
A simple preacher who was a king
who brought in all men into equality
The greatest man who ever lived had his simple lived died upon a tree so we could be free
he had a simple word a word of simple love
So may be simple isn't so bad all these men lived
to make my life simply free so I wonder whats in store for me
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
redo your line breaks. espicially in the second to the last stanza. as always, i'm going to push poetic language in your poems, espicially on such a strong subject. this poem was a bit...too...simple to my taste. it fit the subject, in it's simplicity and ordainary quality, but then again...who ever wants their poem to appear ordinary?
i like the overall idea of this poem a lot. however, there are a few points i feel i have to raise here:
first of all, i don't really get the last two lines (verse?) and i think 'may be' is possibly supposed to be 'maybe'. am i right?
to be honest, i do much prefer the beginning of the poem to the end, especially as it changes so much after being so similar at the beginning.
please don't feel disheartened by any of this - overall i think you have done a good job.
keep it up!
~KayJuran~