Flashbacks

The last day of school, everyone looks forward to it right? 'No more school, no more studies, no more exams- yay!!!' I always belived that, until now. Now end of school means more studying, scarier exams and the worst part of it is heavier books.

Did I ever imagine the LAST day of school, last day I get to see this place and spend time in it? I guess I never really did. What a pathetic little place I studied in, stiil it's home- my escape from the rest of the world when everything else got ugly. Yes, it was an escape. It did mean a lot of note making, boring class lectures, and sometimes writing quite annoying tests in uncomfortable little wooden chairs; but I'll still say it never felt that bad. I had something to outweigh everything I didn't like, I had the company of my precious friends.

I'll never forget the free classes we'd spent singing lame songs, sharing weird stories and impersonating boring teachers. But even lame, weird and boring is much better than what I am now- lonely.

Last day of school, I think I might have gone insane now- but htat's if I ever truly were sane though. I actually don't feel like leaving these.....old, rundown buildings?....little stuffy classrooms?...smelly toilets?..small playgrounds?..the antique air-conditioners? (or wre they coolers?),the dirty carpets? Not much of a great place was it, physically? But these are the places I've got memories of since I was 4 and now 14 years later- all those memories don't have much of an evidence beside this bizarre premises we call school. A bizarre but cozy place, where I've met friends who've become family and teachers who've become friends. Even if that may sound out of place, it makes sense to me.

Somehow, I feel this place is calling back to me. But isn't this what I've always dreamed of? - To leave to a better place, have a better future.Then again, this is where I've worked until now to bring life to that dream I call future. This is where learned to write my first letters,back when I was still being taught to curve the pencil and my fingers but not my wrist when writing 'B'. This is where I learned to colour, to paint; this is where I learned basketball and badminton, I learned maths and physics, freindship and responsibility. This is where I've learned to mbe me, to be who I am today - a big girl who's preparing for her college classes now.

But I'm still a little girl, a little girl who needs her friends and her teachers- to sort out my problems, my doubts, my pain and my fears, to share my laughter and my tears...share my first cupcakes. I never got to write poems for all those who mattered, I never got to show my last certificate to my teachers, I never gotto cook something edible for my friends, I never got to apologize to my english teacher for breaking her favourite pen, I never got to try volleyball, I never got to know all the people I saw everyday but never cared to ask more to- I never got to do so much but now it's all supposed to be over. No, it HAS all ended. I have no more school days left and tomorrow morning, I don't have to wake up early in the morning and go to school. I get to stay late in bed but it doesn't matter- not anymore, I don't want it.

The next morning I'll fly off to a new place, a new city, a new campus with new people but no friends -not yet. 14 years of trying to be a better friend' to make more friends but now we just have to move away.I can't say goodbye, I won't do it either.

There is so much I never got to say, so much I never got to do- even all that I did do, I did say now seem too little, too insignificant and now they are just memories I can't relive in any way. I just want everyone to know that I will come back,someday, and I will make sure these 14 years of my don't go to waste. I'll make my teachers proud, and ensure that my friends are never lonely - because in 14 years there are things I haven't learned. I haven't learned to disappoint, bail out or be alone, and I won't learn it now - because learning's over, school's out!