This pictures was taken on my cell phone, so it isnt as good as it would be if I had taken it on a real camera, but in my opinion it turned out quite well.
Some girls are dolls;
Dressed up, in frilly clothes.
Yellow curls- dripping, dancing-
around delicate, fragile porcelian.
Faces, painted on, Fixed forever.
Long, lovely lashes,
never blink- Lips perfectly parted,
Round cheeks, rosey-pink.
No thoughts to think-
No need to drink.
Nothing to lose. Mindlessly amused.
Loved; but never loving.
Souless. Full of nothing-
fluffy stuffing. Laid aside;
Beautiful, Glassy Blue-eyes,
Blindly transfixed toward the sky.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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140,848 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
All I can say is wow. This is brilliant. I loved it. It really gave me a chill too. I'll be moving my dolls out of my room tonight lol!
Wow, I like. The picture was nice, too. And also, your avatar reminded me of the poem as well. Keep up the good work.
I liked this poem, it had a nice rhythm to it though it was a bit off in some places.
lovely sound to it.The 'No need to drink' line seemed forced, it really had nothing to do with the rest of the piece and it distracts the reader. I would just take that whole line out.
I really liked
Overall you did a great job with the comparisons, and with the imagery you used there was no need to attach a picture xD But it was neat! I liked it.
~ audy
Alright, so this is a nice poem, however some of the punctuation, et cetera, is a bit... wrong. Here, I'll help you. Great idea, perfect comparison between some plastic girls and porcelain dolls... sh'yeah. My writing'll be bold.
Also, the title needs a bit of work.
However, the idea is perfect, your sentences and wording is strong but a few minor areas, and it is a very nice little poem.
Hope that helped.
-Macs
wow.
i like this.
i like the parallel you put in there from the doll to the girls like dolls. I see people like that all around me, and that's why I liked your poem so much.
I love short, deep sentences by the way, so yeah.
The only thing is, I'm not so sure about the title.
But all in all:
Keep up your good work.
Wow, I really like it.
And the picture to add with it is nice.
keep up the good work
*Moved to a more appropriate forum*