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12+ Violence


by Dreamer84

Note: I really don't know what this is, I had to write it for my English class off the poem The Sadness Tree. We were supposed to pick a line in the poem and let our imagination roll with it. I hope you like it, my class did.

Another rope to another tree. It seems like everyday I do this over and over. More and more nameless, faceless people passing by as they hang for their crimes. I stopped letting my emotion show after the third, a little boy, hung for stealing a loaf of bread. He was hungry, but nobody cared he was a criminal. Now I feel numb, no emotion is left in my body, even if I tried to feel I wouldn't want to. Nameless, faceless people pass through everyday. Who will be next for the executioner to silence? Stepping out of the carriage a young girl, age of five, was in cuffs. It's final, there is no voice for the innocent. Only fear.

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Points: 312
Reviews: 2

Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:50 pm
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thisisaly wrote a review...

This was great. I especially love the ending: "there is no voice for the innocent. Only fear." I also liked: "Who will be next for the executioner to silence?" Both of these sentences add to the desolate tone and the hopelessness these people feel. I think it's cool how you managed to establish this mood in only a paragraph.

Dreamer84 says...

Thank you I'm glad I could achieve that. I really like this one, and I'm glad you like it.

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98 Reviews

Points: 197
Reviews: 98

Thu Jun 18, 2015 4:50 pm
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Snoops wrote a review...

Hey Dreamer. After reading monsters, I needed to see some more work of yours! This was so sad and painfull, the ending was perfect. It gave it a hopeless touch.

"He was hungry, but nobody cared he was a criminal." One little thing. It should be:
He was hungry, but nobody cared, he was a criminal"
For the rest, it was great! Good job and never stop writing.

Dreamer84 says...

Glad you wanted to read more. I always think I overuse comma's so sorry about the error. Glad you liked it.

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Points: 240
Reviews: 0

Thu Jun 18, 2015 6:47 am
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Byrd14 says...

Wow. This was very sad! I think its well written and it definitely grabs peoples attention. Also, the last line:
"It's final, there is no voice for the innocent. Only fear." I get the meaning but the way it is written is a little confusing. But other than that great idea!

Dreamer84 says...

How is it confusing??? I'm glad it held your attention and I'm glad you liked it.

The man who never makes a mistake always takes orders from one who does.
— Anonymous