z

Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

Trees

by Dreamer84


Note: I really don't know what this is, I had to write it for my English class off the poem The Sadness Tree. We were supposed to pick a line in the poem and let our imagination roll with it. I hope you like it, my class did.

Another rope to another tree. It seems like everyday I do this over and over. More and more nameless, faceless people passing by as they hang for their crimes. I stopped letting my emotion show after the third, a little boy, hung for stealing a loaf of bread. He was hungry, but nobody cared he was a criminal. Now I feel numb, no emotion is left in my body, even if I tried to feel I wouldn't want to. Nameless, faceless people pass through everyday. Who will be next for the executioner to silence? Stepping out of the carriage a young girl, age of five, was in cuffs. It's final, there is no voice for the innocent. Only fear.


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Points: 312
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Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:50 pm
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thisisaly wrote a review...



This was great. I especially love the ending: "there is no voice for the innocent. Only fear." I also liked: "Who will be next for the executioner to silence?" Both of these sentences add to the desolate tone and the hopelessness these people feel. I think it's cool how you managed to establish this mood in only a paragraph.




Dreamer84 says...


Thank you I'm glad I could achieve that. I really like this one, and I'm glad you like it.



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Thu Jun 18, 2015 4:50 pm
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Snoops wrote a review...



Hey Dreamer. After reading monsters, I needed to see some more work of yours! This was so sad and painfull, the ending was perfect. It gave it a hopeless touch.

"He was hungry, but nobody cared he was a criminal." One little thing. It should be:
He was hungry, but nobody cared, he was a criminal"
For the rest, it was great! Good job and never stop writing.
-Lau.




Dreamer84 says...


Glad you wanted to read more. I always think I overuse comma's so sorry about the error. Glad you liked it.



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Thu Jun 18, 2015 6:47 am
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Byrd14 says...



Wow. This was very sad! I think its well written and it definitely grabs peoples attention. Also, the last line:
"It's final, there is no voice for the innocent. Only fear." I get the meaning but the way it is written is a little confusing. But other than that great idea!




Dreamer84 says...


How is it confusing??? I'm glad it held your attention and I'm glad you liked it.




I have hated words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right.
— Markus Zusak, The Book Thief