Published December 29, 2009
My Funny Friend and Me
Are always a mystery
We're always up to no good
But sometimes we're misunderstood
I have her back and she has mine
I’ll stand up for her any time
We liked each other since the day we met
And that’s something I’ll never forget!
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140,571 Literary Works • 673,516 Reviews
Hello there,
I like this poem. As previous people mentioned it flows nicely and rhymes well. I would say nix the exclamation point at the end.
Also, though I know this poem is supposed to be light and short, you are writing on a subject that has huge amounts of creative fodder. Friendship can be a compelling, complex, dark, or insiring subject, and there is so much to say about it.
But on the whole I enjoy this piece; just something to think about the next time you sit down to write a poem. Keep Rhyming,
The Universe
Hello Dream Writer!
I see you joined YWS yesterday, I'm new as well
This poem is cute! You describe your thoughts and feelings well and with grace. I agree with the previous comments to remove the word 'just' from the fourth line in your stanza. I also feel like it would add depth to your poetry to expand on your vocabulary. For example, could you find a symonym to replace the word 'always' rather than using that word back to back in the second and third lines?
Just food for thought!
ah, this is quite sweet and lovely
It's got good rhythm and a nice rhyming scheme that sounds natural and not at all forced. I like poems like this now and then, not trying to be 'deep' and 'mysterious' but elaborating on a sentiment in a clever way. Over all, great job!
the only crit I might have, is to agree with the above reviewer and suggest that the 'just' before 'misunderstood' be removed, for ease of flow.
Hi,
Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here.
I think this flows smoothly and is easy to read. You stick to the strict rhyming scheme very well and it doesn't sound forced-I found that very enjoyable. I like how it starts off with a vague statement, and ends with a very concrete point in the friendship.
I'd change the title and first line to something more unique to the speaker and his/her friend. Is there anything that marks the friend out specifically as being unique?I'd cut "just" before "misunderstood" because I think it makes the line too long.
I'd add full-stops and commas, full-stops where you end a thought, and a comma where you end part of a thought, or where you'd stop for breath if you were reading aloud.
Hope this helps. I hope to read more of you soon,
Jas
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