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Young Writers Society



My Funny Friend and Me

by DreamWriter99


My Funny Friend and Me
Are always a mystery
We're always up to no good
But sometimes we're misunderstood
I have her back and she has mine
I’ll stand up for her any time
We liked each other since the day we met
And that’s something I’ll never forget!


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370 Reviews


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Wed Jan 06, 2010 3:43 am
empressoftheuniverse wrote a review...



Hello there,
I like this poem. As previous people mentioned it flows nicely and rhymes well. I would say nix the exclamation point at the end.
Also, though I know this poem is supposed to be light and short, you are writing on a subject that has huge amounts of creative fodder. Friendship can be a compelling, complex, dark, or insiring subject, and there is so much to say about it.
But on the whole I enjoy this piece; just something to think about the next time you sit down to write a poem. Keep Rhyming,
The Universe




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Thu Dec 31, 2009 2:40 am
RedSmiles wrote a review...



Hello Dream Writer!

I see you joined YWS yesterday, I'm new as well :)

This poem is cute! You describe your thoughts and feelings well and with grace. I agree with the previous comments to remove the word 'just' from the fourth line in your stanza. I also feel like it would add depth to your poetry to expand on your vocabulary. For example, could you find a symonym to replace the word 'always' rather than using that word back to back in the second and third lines?

Just food for thought!




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Thu Dec 31, 2009 1:52 am
Sabine wrote a review...



ah, this is quite sweet and lovely :)
It's got good rhythm and a nice rhyming scheme that sounds natural and not at all forced. I like poems like this now and then, not trying to be 'deep' and 'mysterious' but elaborating on a sentiment in a clever way. Over all, great job!

the only crit I might have, is to agree with the above reviewer and suggest that the 'just' before 'misunderstood' be removed, for ease of flow.




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Wed Dec 30, 2009 11:44 pm
Jasmine Hart wrote a review...



Hi,

Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here.

I think this flows smoothly and is easy to read. You stick to the strict rhyming scheme very well and it doesn't sound forced-I found that very enjoyable. I like how it starts off with a vague statement, and ends with a very concrete point in the friendship.

I'd change the title and first line to something more unique to the speaker and his/her friend. Is there anything that marks the friend out specifically as being unique?I'd cut "just" before "misunderstood" because I think it makes the line too long.

I'd add full-stops and commas, full-stops where you end a thought, and a comma where you end part of a thought, or where you'd stop for breath if you were reading aloud.

Hope this helps. I hope to read more of you soon,

Jas




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As if you were on fire from within. The moon lives in the lining of your skin.
— Pablo Neruda