Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: This is a really neat piece here, it has a very simple plot to get things off the ground, and that is delivered quite nicely through the descriptions and images here. Despite the lack of dialogue you create a good sense of this character and how they interact with things.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Nothingness. Black. Then I see ash, skies of ash. It's movement still, calm and unnatural. Just like the calm before the storm. Am I awake or asleep? My fingers felt cold and numb. I stretched them toward the sky, watching as pale blue reached for ash grey. What was I looking for? Hope, Inspiration? I chuckled bitterly, never, not in this god forsaken land. Not here, not in this shadowy place where even the faintest glimmer of light ceased to exist.
Well, this is very much a rather sad note to start on, looks like we're seeing someone wake up in what appears to be a rather barren wasteland where nothing good ever seems to really happen judging by those last few lines there. Its certainly a very interesting image there to get things started off on here.
Slowly I rise from the earth, my body frozen and numb. A lifeless, barren wasteland seemed to stretch for miles before me. Grey, shadow casted and hopeless. Houses loomed above the shadowed earth and remained eerily quiet. No merriness, no warmth, just a sense of layered melancholy. Layer upon layer. Why had I come? Who was I? Then it all rushed back to me. "I have come" I whispered, letting the breeze carry my words.
Hmm, well I first got the feeling this is someone that lived in this desolate wasteland, but now it appears that this is someone that just kind of randomly woke up in this desolate wasteland, which makes things even more interesting, not to mention it also seems to suggest that this person can't even remember who they are.
In an instant I was to my feet. I couldn't feel. All that rushed through me was a freezing shock of numb. Slowly and heavily, I padded towards the nearest building. The closer I drew, the more urgent my strides grew. I stopped in front of the house as it loomed over me. Shadows. Shadow over shadow. I raised my hand and placed my palm upon the glass of a window. I closed my eyes. Cold emanated from the thin, web - like cracks that decorated the glass. Feel.
Okay....this got a little harder to imagine there, it sounds like this person is unfeeling besides this feeling of numbness and shock somehow...and then they end up walking through this very shadowy dark place to end up running into a window...somehow...its a bit hard to keep track of, but you're descriptions are pretty good here.
I could see. I could see a house. A house washed in sunshine, filled with people who wore happy smiles. Child stumbled after child as soft giggles filled the air, they smiled and I could feel. I smiled as happy memories filtered into my mind.
Then there was a burst of flames and the freezing cold. Screams filled the memories. Tears. I was crying. I took my hand away. I couldn't feel. I smiled wickedly as I stroked the glass. "Sunshine will come again" I whispered. The breeze grew violent, screams of the dead pounded through my ears. Adrenaline flowed through my veins. I am no human and I am no alien, I am nothing. I feel nothing.
Well, that's interesting, now it seems like perhaps this is this person's home and place...despite what was said earlier...the sudden turn from beautiful and happy memories to screams is also very intriguing...and well, its seems almost like this person here is the cause and somehow they bring terror and sadness with them. It certainly sounds like they are the cause here at any rate.
I exist for this one sole reason; vengeance. The screams grew louder as I laughed maniacally. "They have done wrong and now the price shall be paid, your desires shall be delivered, vengeance will be delivered" I whispered harshly. Farewell cannot come in a more beautiful form.
Well...so the title makes a lot of sense at this point, so that's cool. It seems like a really nice base for a story here at any rate, and well as far as starts go, this ending is just about exactly what you want to see here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, a pretty solid start this one. I daresay this is something that's interesting enough that I'd certainly read more of it here. It seems like a pretty cool premise to write something from the perspective of what appears to be someone along the lines of the living embodiment of vengeance.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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