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Seeking out peace (Cobra x Reader) Fairytail

by DragonsDen

"Why would we let them out?" Mest asked pointing toward the well-known criminals, "and why would Fairy Tail want to help them." He glared at the nervous mages in front of him.

"Everyone deserves a second chance if their willing to take it. For so long they have been trying to atone for their sins. Let them be." Makarov answered. The crime socierestood watching this, speechless.

"My job is to protect the people and so is yours." Lahar growled, playing with a set of handcuffs hanging off his belt unconsciously. He wanted to have a normal life. Not accessing the damage Fairy Tail did during their latest job. To tell the truth he wanted to find a reason to get rid of them.

"Well you haven't done a good job." Natsu retorted, his fists were covered in flaming hot fire. To Lucy the fire wasn't the only thing that was hot.

"What?" Lahar fumed. Natsu grabbed the kings crown from his bag.

"Not that." Natsu laughed nervously. He rushed to put the crown back in his bag as Lahar stared in disbelief. Natsu then pulled a thick file from his bag. On the front in big black font it said 'Fairy Tail.'

"Our folder is thicker than all of the dark guilds combined." Natsu pointed out, flipping through the lengthy folder.

"How did you get your grimy hands on that?" Lahar asked. He despised Fairy Tail. He could use this against them. Put them in prison.

"I snuck into some office at the castle. Master told me to burn the folder so you would not have any evidence and not hate us as much." Natsu replied honestly. Lahar huffed disapprovingly.

"Your targeting us. There are so many evil people roaming around Fiore that you don't know of because you are too busy complaining to us. If it doesn't make you look bad, then it doesn't matter. You are just power hungry." Y/N growled.

"How many times have you almost killed us?" Natsu asked.

"Tower of Heaven, Tenrouisland... do I have to keep going?" Gray asked.

"That was for the people." Lahar reassured them.

"I agree." Master Makarov answered. Lahar was getting impatient with these fools.

"Fine. Just don't cause any trouble." Lahar grumbled, briskly walking away.

"Aye!" The guild yelled rushing forward to give the surprised criminals a group hug. Unfortunately, they tripped over one another and fell into a nearby pond. Cobra was able to dodge the pile of mages and he stood, looking down on them smirking as everyone clambered out of the water, soaking wet. Cobra jumped down to meet them.

Y/N walked out of the water shivering. Her hands trembling as she crossed her arms in a failed attempt to hide that she was shaking. Droplets of water sprayed of her H/L H/C hair. Cobra pulled off his white coat and draped it around her shoulders. Y/N pulled the coat closer, breathing in Cobra's sent.

When she heard Cobra chuckle she turned bright red and slapped him, leaving a handprint on his face.

“What was that for?” Cobra raged, Y/N just laughed.

“Don’t be such a jerk next time, the rest of the guild knows not mess with me.” Y/N rolled her eyes. Cobra growled a little.

As Y/N walked away she felt her feet leave the ground as a protective arm rapped around her waist, pulling her so she was bridal style in his arms. A couple guild mates giggled or made a joke of it and they landed in the water once more. Y/N was dragged into the guild where she was put down.

Then, Y/N sat down at the farthest table away from Cobra, still embarrassed. Cobra, noticing that she was the only one at that table plopped down across from her. Y/N looked up from her unfinished fanfiction on her screen before quickly typing more, avoiding eye contact. Cobra pulled her screen down making her look up.

“Yes Cobra?” Y/N asked glaring at her friend who disturbed her. Cobra just shrugged, causing Y/N to sigh. She pulled up the screen deciding to try to type once more but couldn’t concentrate. She could feel someone'spiercing gaze.

“Why are you staring at me? Do you mind?” Y/N asked glancing up. Cobra once again didn’t answer, instead he leaned in closer pecking her on the check, sending color to Y/N’s face. Cobra walked away satisfied. 

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640 Reviews

Points: 13800
Reviews: 640

Tue Sep 11, 2018 2:32 am
SpiritedWolfe wrote a review...

Hello, DragonsDeep ~

So, I understand that this is a fan-fiction and you may be writing with characters already established in the Fairy Tail universe, but as an outside reader reading your piece as a standalone, this was very confusing to me.

First of all, there are a ton of characters in this short and it was incredibly difficult to keep track of who was who. The first four lines of dialogue were each voiced by their own new characters, and so it quickly became very difficult for me to keep track of who was who. In fact, I never felt like I actually ever figured out who was who. The names were just dropped in the text with no context of introduction to any of them, and because there were about six or even more characters, even if you did introduce them all, I still would have had a lot of trouble keeping them straight.

So in order to fix this, I would highly recommend you slow down this piece a lot. Give us a bit of time between introducing each character. Also, another issue that this had was that many of the characters sounded very similar and weren't that distinct in nature. This is easier to do with smaller numbers of characters, but try to write them to make it easier for their personality to shine through and make them more memorable to the reader.

Also, I am confused about the name Y/N? While reading this, it was confusing to me, but it just occurred to me that this could mean "Your Name"? Which is still confusing and not very conventional in my opinion.

Finally, I feel like the events of the chapter were kind of all over the place. I know it started off with something about magical outlaws and a debate between punishing them and letting them go, but then it devolved into ... I'm not entirely sure what happened. This kind of goes back to my advice about slowing it down. By adding more to the characters, you can expand the events out more and make clear, logical transitions between different events throughout the story.

I think this overall needs a lot of work. It was difficult and confusing to read, so my overall advice is to just slow the pacing down.

Best of luck writing ~
- Wolfe

User avatar
24 Reviews

Points: 27
Reviews: 24

Thu Aug 30, 2018 7:14 am
magiccharm2002 wrote a review...

Hello! Over all I very much liked this story. It was kinda funny and I definitely enjoyed reading it. Also, everything was easy to follow and understand which helped make it even better! I dont read a lot of X reader stories but one thing that was a little confusing and hard to understand were all the symbols. Like Y/N, H/L, and H/C. Its probably just me though.

Other then that it was really good! keep up the good work!

He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.
— Friedrich Nietzsche