It's the rush, the adrenaline that keeps people intrigued in you.
You think that because you have something going for you people are going to respect and take into consideration that you are special.
It's like every single time you talk to somebody new, they listen as if your story is more important than the task at hand.
And I wouldn't blame you.
When you text me, my heartbeat speeds up and it's almost like I've entered a "DANGER" zone.
You constantly ask for forgiveness and to be honest with you, I don't see why. You always think you're correct, no matter the evidence brought to the table.
That girl I saw, who is she to you?
Is she an uncertainty? Is she one of those things you're starting on but never finish? I like to think of that girl as a toy, something you play with when you're not off to work or pursuing another female.
So when you ran to me that day and I presented you with straight facts--evidence, if you will, and you pushed them to the side as you did, I froze.
You see, men view women as items. You use us to give you children and clean the oil stains off of your white tee-shirt as you sleep. Yet, you still find yourself unhappy.
Society has turned a woman's roll into completely satisfying your husband.
But where is my satisfaction with your behavior?
It's funny because I treat you as an adult. You treat me as a child, and that's somewhat degrading because I'm the one who gave you a child. I'm the one that washes that nasty stain off of that tee-shirt.
Be humble.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hallo! I'm here to review this! I honestly like this poem, it has a lot of emotion and it expresses it quite clearly. I can feel your passive aggressiveness. As for critique, I don't have much. Except for the fact that I believe you could have given something like thought provoking at the end if that makes sense. I just feel like if you ended it with a question, it would've settled better. Maybe that's just me, it's midnight so maybe I'm just sleep deprived XD. Other than that, this was a pretty amazing poem. I believe, even though it didn't rhyme, you executed your point perfectly. I really liked this poem, and I hope you continue to make more
ANYWAYS! That'll be it from me, keep writing!
~CAKEEEEEEE~
Hi, Mangline here for the review.
So, I liked this, and I'm sure many other people would enjoy it too, but I feel I should give my own opinion. I know not all poems have rhyming, but I think it would help you get you're message across a little bit better if you did rhyme. And, something I noticed was that you used heartbreak and reality. Now, that's not a bad thing! I'm actually bringing this up because I loved how you used it to the advantage of the poem! I honestly don't have anymore problems with this poem, it was absolutely amazing! Have a great day!
-MANGLINE