Published December 3, 2010
Listen very closely,
Listen to the sound,
Listen to those machines,
As they bang and puff and pound.
Listen to the voices,
Listen to them yell,
Listen to them fight over
What they’re trying to sell.
Listen to the media,
Listen to their lies,
Listen to the believers,
Led right to their demise.
Look at the depressed teens,
Look at them just cry,
Look at how they curl up
And only wish to die.
Look at the starving children,
Look at them fall,
Look as we starve ourselves,
Just to fit a small.
Look as our world falls apart,
Looks like a dying flame,
Look at how we then sit back,
As the suffering stays the same.
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Canary word: Present
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141,364 Literary Works • 674,382 Reviews
Woah, I really like this. I really like what you're trying to say. However,
[quote="DisturbedDisorder"]
Listen to them fight over
What they’re trying to sell. that bit sounds slightly awkward.
__________
Look at the depressed teens,
Look at them just cry,
Look at how they curl up
And only wish to die.
Wasn't this about ;istening?
Great job I love this poem!
Good to now that I am not one of the only people who notice this happening to our world.
Keep writing!
It's an excellent poem.
The only thing is,
It took me a bit here to realise that it mean't a small size of clothes, but it's not that bad.
I didn't really get why the machines at the beginning were so bad, but that's just me.
Overall it's a great job. You did well.
Thank the Lord that I am not the only one who sees what is happening to our world. Very good, insightful poem! It flows well, and clearly conveys the main points. I like the Listen and Look beginnings, it makes the poem a little catchy, if that is possible. The lines are not too long either. If you don't mind me asking, what is the "small" in
? I didn't quite catch that line. There does not really seem to be much else that comes to mind, so, to end, very nice poem!