I arrived home to my apartment after a tiring day at work. Turning on the lights, I called out to my pet, Jake, a small shih tzu dog. To my surprise, he didn't instantly run over to me the moment he heard my arrival. Normally, I would have thought to check where he was, but after such a busy and exhausting shift (and not to mention barely eating the entire day), I wasn't thinking straight. So I headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner.
After a few minutes, my leftovers from yesterday were finished reheating in the microwave. I put my plate on the dinner table and began chowing down.
As I was in the middle of eating, I felt something soft brush up my feet. Ah, Jake. He usually went under the table when I was eating. After a few more minutes I also felt something licking against my toes. Jake also loved doing that as well. It's a ticklish feeling, but I always found it cute whenever he did it.
"You missed me, Jake?" I asked, my eyes on my phone watching a random video while eating. He didn't bark. He just kept licking.
I finished dinner and put the plate in the sink, intending to do it later. My stomach felt a bit queasy, so I decided to go to the toilet. While turning the bathroom door, I suddenly heard loud barking and whining coming from the other side. Confused, I open to see Jake inside, very wet and looking very relieved to see me.
"Jake!" I scolded him. "How many times do I have to tell you to not go inside the bathroom?"
As I crouched down to pet his damp head, I suddenly realized something. If Jake was in the bathroom locked inside the entire time, then what did I feel under the dinner table?
I ran over to check under the table. Filled with a small sense of dread, I hesitantly pulled over the cloth to find that nothing was there.
Was I imagining it the entire time? But it had felt so real. Perhaps, I reasoned with myself, Jake simply was actually under the table and then he locked himself in the bathroom in the short period that I was putting the plate in the sink.
Yeah. Yeah! That was probably it. There was no other possibility.
---
A few hours later I prepared myself to go to bed. I called Jake to the bedroom as he usually sleeps with me here, but he didn't respond. I went out to find him already sleeping on the couch in the living room. He looked so peaceful with his tongue out. I didn't want to disturb him, so I decided to leave him there.
I went back into my room and left the door slightly ajar, in case Jake wanted to come here later. After lying down in bed for only a few minutes, I dozed off to finally sleep.
---
I woke up sweating in the middle of the night. I was having a dream, but I couldn't recall what it was about, only remembering a feeling of uneasiness and anxiety for some reason. My eyes staring at the ceiling, I stretched out my arms only to feel something fluffy under my right palm. It then started licking my fingers, though now it felt like it had my hand in its mouth, as I could feel some teeth as well. It almost hurt.
I turned over to my right hand.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the horrific S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - The narrator arrives after a long day at work. They get licks from their dog, Jake, only it isn’t Jake, because Jake was locked in the bathroom the whole time. But wasn’t it Jake? Who…or what…else could it be?
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I don’t really have any recommendations to make, but if you want to add more, then go for it!
Chocolate Bar - I like how the monster (or whatever it is) is not really revealed. The real horror is wondering whatever is in the home, whatever had lurked in there is good at slinking in corners…and what was it doing with eating the narrator’s hand?
Closing Graham Cracker - It would have been crucial for the narrator to check in the house for whatever was hiding, but oh well, they’re in for something far more sinister than they could imagine…do I even want to know what is the house? If it’s doing all that then a physical appearance would be quite frightening…wonderful job!
I wish you a terrific day/night! :>
In gonna review as I go so sorry if I sound like an idiot, okay?
I would have been concerned the moment I didn't hear him coming. Wtf.
And him not barking was not a red flag? Or not feeling the fur as you pet him? I'm not co planning about your writing skill, it's realistic so far, I'm just joking about the main characters lack of sense. Even though I would honestly do the same and not think to check if I were the main character, despite my criticism.
Wouldn't the wet hand be real enough- keep telling yourself that it wasn't real buddy. Dum dum. Dummy.
HEY
YOU CANT DO THAT
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
THERES A PART TWO RIGHT
I hope there's a part two. Anywho, dumb but relatable main character, I didn't seem to find any spelling mistakes or bad writing. Then again im bad at reviews. Have a good day!