There's a chapter in my life I wish I never lived.
A whole chapter about you—
I ripped those pages clean.
Tore them as they burned my hands.
But in my diary...
at that period, somehow,
those pages seem to be the fullest.
Heavy with ink.
Heavy with you.
Because at that time, I wrote about your eyes,
and your smile,
and how you smelled nice.
I wrote about your fidelity,
your infidelity,
the way you made me laugh until I forgot my name,
the way you made me cry—
so when I stared in the mirror,
I saw just salt and shame staring back at me,
and not my face.
---
There's a chapter in my life my mother will never know.
My sister does,
because she's my confidant,
but I don't think she even knows the deepest parts—
the parts I buried like bodies.
See, my children—
they will come to me and ask,
"Mommy, how is it you're so wise?
How did you learn to love like this?"
And I will tell them everything.
I will tell them about the good ones,
probably tell them about the exes who taught me lessons,
but you?
You are the chapter of my life that has been ripped apart.
Gone.
Like it never existed.
---
See, I'm not proud of you.
The one I fell for the most—
you took from me what no one else ever took.
I loved you.
Deeply.
Deeper than anyone deserved,
deeper than you earned.
Deeper than I loved anyone,
before or since.
Loved you like oxygen.
Like I'd die without you.
And you were a joke.
A punchline that lasted too long.
A waste of ink.
A waste of pages I will never get back.
---
You made me the happiest in my youth,
a beautiful wreck,
a disaster dressed up as a dream.
You're the one I want to forget the most,
the one who doesn't deserve a single word in my story—
not even your name.
---
So this is me, tearing you out.
This is me, ripping the pages.
This is me, closing the book on a chapter
that never deserved to be written.
It was written.
But I survived it.
I walked through fire and came out the other side.
And that's the only line about you
my children will ever need to know.
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138,956 Literary Works • 672,361 Reviews
Oh, this poem feels like someone ripped open a real heart and let it bleed on the page, and every line carries the weight of lived pain and survival.
The imagery of chapters, ink, and torn pages is brutally effective, because it turns memory into something physical, something that burns, stains, and refuses to disappear.
What hit the hardest is how love is shown as both the fullest thing and the most destructive one, and that contradiction feels painfully real and deeply human.
The honesty about shame, silence, and erasing someone from your future story is raw as fuck, and it captures the kind of pain people rarely admit out loud.
There’s no self-pity here, just quiet strength, the kind that comes from surviving something that almost broke you.
The ending doesn’t glorify the past, it claims survival, and that makes the poem powerful rather than sentimental.
This piece stays with you long after reading, because it reminds you that some chapters aren’t meant to be remembered—only survived, and omg, I love this....
Hi, it's Just me being me here with a review. I'm not the most polished at reviews so maybe don't get too insulted if it comes out harsh, okay?
Firstly, this: 'Deeper than I loved anyone,
before or since.
Loved you like oxygen.
Like I'd die without you.
And you were a joke.'
This part of your beautiful poem hits hardest. The enjambment - the short lines, all end stopped - reflect the feeling the poem depicts, how nothing is running smoothly, how you felt kind of stopped up. That nuildup, with the repeated 'deeper' only to drop it all with the line about being a joke - really echoes how the relationship went: so much passion, so much headspace - and all to just go nowhere.
'a disaster dressed up as a dream': That alliteration! It emphasises the irony here. love it.
What shall I criticise? Maybe spell check the description you wrote, but the poem itself is amazing and I don't feel like my review did it justice - keep writing!
This poem is amazing! I really felt the pain that your ex had caused you and happness that was torn apart by them. I hope you truly find someone worthy of standing by your side in understanding. I could feel your wish to forget what had happened with them and hope that you can get what you wish for and what you need in a partner. I also hope that your ex learns the errors of what they had done and learn to be a better person, instead of taking advantage of other people.