Journal Entry #002

by Desdemona

Published May 16, 2016

12+ Violence

In Journal Entries

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Journal Entry #002

Reader, you’ve returned. I’m afraid there is no going back from this point. It has already taken control of your impulses, and It has made you come back, so It can capture all of your senses, like it has mine.

But, I’ll take myself back from Its grasp, reader. I’ll tell you everything, and you’ll help me break its power over me, over us.

Crack.

Among a plethora of other sickening noises, this was by far the worst.

Crack.

The girl collided headfirst with the wall, and I heard her skull crack open distinctly, splattering the wall and the floor with already clotting, slimy blood droplets.

I fell back, hyperventilating even more violently. Calm down. I tried to tell myself, but to no avail. I forced myself to breathe more slowly, as a much more offensive odor pervaded my surroundings; the smell of rotting eggs and meat.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Yes, I’d started to calm down, slowly. I got up and turned my back to the body once more, and walked briskly away from her. Then I noticed.

Why was everything so loud?

Everywhere, there was a loud noise. The hooting of owls outside, the ticking of my watch, my heart beating against my chest…

Why could I hear everything so distinctly? Was it the hunter-gatherer instinct within me coming out in a time of danger? Would it really amplify my senses this much?

Plick.

What was that?

Plick.

I craned my neck backwards, trying to discern the source of the sound in pitch darkness. There was nothing but the sound of my shuddering breaths and the stench of death hovering over me.

Plick.

What was it?

Plick.

It wasn’t coming from the direction of the corpse.

Plick.

What would even be dripping in a place like this, the roads were all bone dry when I’d looked.

Plick.

Plickplickplickplickplickplickplickplickplickplickplick.

Where was it? It was getting faster and faster. I knew I really shouldn’t have gone looking for the source of a strange noise where freaky, supernatural things were taking place.

But I did. And curiosity killed the cat.

I closed my eyes and walked around, stumbling and groping, towards the noise, without giving the thought I could trip over something and die a second thought. That fear seemed much too tame and absurd here.

Plick.

It sounded mushy, like the sound watery dough makes when you squeeze it. It was still almost drowned out by the sound of stray pebbles and brick fragments I stepped over, but just barely discernible.

Plick.

It was getting louder, I was headed in the right direction.

My foot hit something and I was forced to open my eyes. I was at the stairs heading upstairs a few meters away from the corpse of the girl.

Plick.

Plick.

Plick.

Suddenly a delicious smell seemed to be coming from up the stairs, an amazing mix of blueberry pie, roasted turkey and buttered mashed potatoes.

Wait a minute.

Blueberry pie, roasted turkey and mashed potatoes. Smells from the best day ever of my life; the Thanksgiving when my husband proposed.

Something was fishy.

Houses like this in the middle of nowhere didn’t smell like this. It was a trap.

This infinitely seductive smell was a lure. But I would not be persuaded, no sir.

I grinned to myself. I’d outsmarted these demon-people, but wait.

Where was the plicking noise?

I craned my neck upwards, looking up the stairs. Nothing.

The smell was growing stronger by the second, and I could smell something different with each second. Strawberries. My husband’s perfume. The smell of cleaning fluid. Chalk.

No.

I mustn’t give in. These are lies.

Fresh bread. Old books. Linen sheets.

In a place like this, you couldn’t smell all that. These were illusions. They were trying to get me now that they’d got the girl. Haha! That was it. Not so high and intelligent, were they now, those demons? I’d figured out their plans.

Only, I wasn’t so smart, was I?

The smell subsided as quickly as it had appeared, and I was left wondering what would happen next.

The cat should feel lucky that curiosity only killed it. There are things far worse than death. I know that now.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
SacredPen
Review
SacredPen wrote a review Review · May 29, 2016

"POT SQUAD! UH-OH, HERE COMES THE REVIEW!" - me. boi.

*OW!*

SO! I have NO idea what the HECK is going on here but it's GOOD and I feel like the main character should probably start finding weaponry. you know. Just in case. Aside from that, as is a recurring theme in my life, I was unable to find part one of this, thus I decided to read this one first. Bad idea on my part, as I now feel like a little kid on COD that got put into a Faze lobby. I'm rather scared and confused as to why exactly there'd be a girl smashing her head into a wall to the point where her skull is AUDIBLY CRACKING, but I'm sure it's for good reason. Meanwhile, I actually want to know more about these demon people. Are they real? Has this girl actually seen them before? If so, why try to outsmart them? Just find a weapon and go DANTE on 'em real-

(What do you want NOW? Can't you see I'm busy? What do you mean "not every protagonist is as impulsive and violent in any scarcely bad situations as you"? You trying to call me violent? Fine! But that was ONE TIME! And he had a sword and shield in his basement, I mean, how do you NOT use them? Alright, fine.)

*ahem*. That aside, I'd like to state that I find your story to be interesting and quite intriguing to say the least. The main character at least isn't just there as a shield to hide behind so she can trigger all of the scary stuff that happens. She actually makes a conscious attempt to avoid danger. Now she just needs to learn how to fight it, and everything'll be peachy keen by me! That's all!

User avatar
BornLoser
Review
BornLoser wrote a review Review · May 29, 2016

Hey hey! A member of Team Weasley is here to give you a review-y review!

I noticed that this was a second entry, so I went back and read the first one before returning to this piece, so that I had a better understanding of what was going on so far.

Anyways, on to the review!

Plot:
You have an interesting plot. I don't entirely understand what's going on, and neither does the protagonist, but I like it so far! The girl getting smashed against the wall was rather brutal, but I know that it was supposed to happen so as to shock the main character in your story. Everything's just so strange and mysterious, and I like it!

Length of story relating to plot:
The length of your piece is decent, not too long nor too short. However, taking into consideration your many short paragraphs and one-worded lines, the length of the piece is actually shorter that it seems. Maybe try and make bigger paragraphs, or make better descriptions of the surroundings, smells and sounds that the protagonist can sense, so as to add a bit of length to your story. I feel like it could maybe help make the story better!

Spelling and grammar:
There are a few spelling mistakes, but they are very minor and easily fixed, so there's really no need to go into too much detail about it! You have great spelling overall! :D

I really liked this, and I hope you continue it!

Keep writing dude!

Huggles from BornLoser :3

DivergentDemigod commented Comment · May 18, 2016

*awesome* plz inform me on the next update.... i really cant wait!



I didn't want to slow time, I just wanted to make a little rock.
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