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Young Writers Society



Code Name "The Darkness" Chapter 3

by Derek


So, previously this story was named Unknown Story due to not having a name.

Until I figure one out it will be code name The Darkness just so I'm not calling it

"Unknown Story" everywhere. Enjoy :].

Chapter 3: Kayla

"Freeze!" I held my gun out toward the figure at the back window. It was the killer. A long machete was in his right hand and he stood there staring at me with blank eyes. "Put your hands up and drop the weapon!" I walked closer to him, making sure to keep distance between myself and the range of the machete.

The man was silent, just staring me down like a piece of meat. He held his blade up straight in the direction of my face. "Put your weapon down or I will shoot!" I threatened him again. His hand was shaking making him unable to hold the weapon still. "This is your last warning, put the weapon down or die." He just laughed, giving a smirk revealing his blood stained teeth.

He made a move, trying to escape through the window. I fired three shots, one missed hitting the window, the second hitting the machete blade, and I'm not sure where the third bullet hit but I know it didn't hit him. The moment that man hit the ground he took off faster then anyone I'd ever seen and disappeared into the corn patch behind the house.

I tried to run after him, but taking one step forward causing me to collapse. I couldn't walk, my leg was totally numb. I looked down to see my leg was bleeding. With all the adrenaline pumping I must not have noticed my own bullet had hit my leg, bouncing off the machete no doubt.

I knew I had lost him. Obviously I was pissed. I was the closest we had come to catching this guy and he got away. There was still some hope, he was in the area and we could search for him but I needed to get back to the police car. I never made it. Limping back into the hall, I could hear crying. It sounded like, but it couldn't be, Kayla.

Scooting faster and faster, dragging my limp leg across the floor, I made my way to end of the hall and into the opening. Kayla was on her knees in a pool of blood her hands covering her face.

"Kayla what are you doing in here!" I moved closer to her and sat down in front of her. She was just crying, barley moving and trembling like I'd never seen. I grabbed her shoulders and tried to look into her eyes. "Kayla I told you stay in the car." No reply. I tried to pull her hands from her eyes and she slapped my hand away. This wasn't like her.

"Come on, let's go get up." I tried to stand up, using the nearby end table covered in blood for support. Picking up her arm, I forced her to stand up, causing her to uncover her eyes. She kept them closed for a good reason, but tears were still falling from her eyes like a waterfall. Her clothes and hands were dripping in blood, it looked like she had rolled around in it. I continued to limp, this time slowly leading Kayla out of the house.

As soon as we reached the porch, more police cars pulled up and rushed over to us. Just as they were getting to Kayla she fell, dropping to the porch like a rock. An ambulance arrived just behind my fellow officers, who brought out a gurney for her. I was losing blood, and becoming disoriented. I don't remember what happened next. They told me I screamed her name, and fell shorty after that.

I awoke in a hospital bed. The room was empty, and looked like any other hospital room. White walls, one wooden door and tons of equipment that looked way to complicated for any human to use. All I could think about was Kayla. I looked around for the nurse call button. I was covered in wires which tangled as I reached for it. Finally after a short struggle I pressed the button. Soon after a nurse came into the room.

"Oh you're finally awake."

"What happened? Where is Kayla! I demanded.

"I should go get the doctor."

A few moments later the doctor and the chief of police entered the room. The doctor told me that my leg was going to be fine, but I would need to rest it for a few weeks. The scariest part was when he told that one more incident like this and I could lose my leg. I held onto the fact that Kayla was unharmed and the chance we could have caught the killer. Hope is a powerful thing, but it isn't always enough. I can't relay our exact conversation because of all the pain killers but I know how it ended.

Kayla wasn't hurt, but she was scared for life. They had moved her to a psychiatric ward in Kentucky. I was told I could see her if I liked but I didn't know what do to at the time. It was hard to believe. Like I said, Kayla was so strong, stronger then I was but somehow she completely drawn into the darkness and she could not get out. All the light she held, the beauty, the strength could not save her. The Darkness. They would always win. I knew it from the beginning. I couldn't stop them, and now Kayla has paid for it. That wasn't the end of it. Would it ever end? Now I'm just rambling. When you read this, Mel, know that I love you.

Keep this book safe. Read it in order, do not skip to the end. Follow my every instruction and do not falter, do not stray from the path. The end is near and The Darkness must be destroyed. I hope that in time you can forgive us. Daughters paying for the sins of their fathers. That is how the world is. It's how the world will end. All I ask of you is this. Stop them. I love yo-

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

It ended right there. As if something happened while he was trying to finish the prologue. She held the book in her arms and hugged it tight. Melony was lost, confused, hopeless. Her mother was crazy and her father was missing and the only thing he left behind was this book. The Darkness. Whoever they were they held all the answers. He told her to stop them, but she was just a 18 year old college student what could she do? Her only choice was to continue reading.


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Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:07 pm
Ranger Hawk wrote a review...



Hey Derek here I am! Sorry it's taken me a little while to reply.

Okay, first off I think this chapter is great. It was all really clear and I wasn't confused in the least. We're really getting into the story now, which is exciting; I'm looking forward to seeing what happens.

One thing I noticed is that you tend to have run-on sentences, like this one:

Derek wrote:I fired three shots, one missed hitting the window, the second hitting the machete blade, and I'm not sure where the third bullet hit but I know it didn't hit him.


It should look something like this:
I fired three shots: the first one hit the window, the second ricocheted off the machete's blade, and the third disappeared entirely; I'm not sure where it went, but I know that it didn't hit him.


For these types of sentences, use punctuation! Semicolons, periods, and commas are your friends. :D

Okay, that was it! Good job and let me know when you post more. :)





I can factcheck ur flashback outfits
— SirenCymbaline