z

Young Writers Society


12+ Language

Corrupted-Mind.Exe

by Dep1ctedINSANITY


Prologue (John's POV, November 16th, 2012)

(Letter from August 7th, 2000)

To Micheal

"Hey Micheal! Happy 3rd Birthday! You guys always grow up so fast. Just know that I love you and will always be by your side. This present that comes along with this letter is my gift to you, a new friend! Sonic the Hedgehog! See you soon!"

Love, Aunt May

(This letter alongside the game cartridge of Sonic the Hedgehog was found in Micheals stuffed closet alongside his other noteworthy material).

"I just don't get it. This kid was obsessed with sonic of all things. Why would this lead to some schizophrenic kid killing his mom."

"Remember John, this is our job! We are getting paid to convince a judge that this kid is insane, not a killer! We're trying to get this kid out of going to jail for life." You are just going to need to trust me for once."

"Okay, I get it. What's your story than smart guy?"

"Well, I don't truly have a story yet. But we just need a little more evidence and I think we'll have the perfect explanation for this!"

(Facebook post from Micheal's mom from November 16th, 2006)

"My kid seems really invested with this Sonic the Hedge guy or whatever. Should this be something I need to worry about? He won't even come to the dinner table! He is only 6!"

(Reply from a friend of Micheal's mom named Maria)

"Don't worry about it. All of our kids are getting into video games. It's just the new popular thing right now. I'm sure he will grow out of that phase soon enough!"

Chapter one: MY FRIEND SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!1!111!1!!! (Micheals POV?)

I LOVE SONIC? HE IS MY BEST FRIEND! HE TALKS WITH ME! HE PLAYS WITH ME! WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN WITH EACH OTHER! MY MOM SAYS I'M CRAZY AND MUST BE HEARING VOICES IN MY HEAD. SHE TAKES ME TO THE DOCTOR ALL THE TIME. HOWEVER, I ASSURE YOU I AM, OKAY?

"Augh!" What is wrong with me. Why can't I get this weird ass voice out of my head. Sonic? Why Sonic of all things. I can no longer stand the thought of going to school anymore. I just want to be homeschooled! I can't stand the bullying anymore! IT'S NOT MY FAULT IT'S NOT MY FAULT I JUST WANT TO BE LIKE HIM I JUST WANT TO BE LIKE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!

"Enough!" Every time I think it's SONIC! Every time I talk to someone it is just SONIC. Why can't I stop it! WHY TRY TO STOP IT! SONIC IS MY BEST FRIEND AND MY ONLY FRIEND I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM SO SOS SOS OS SO SOS SO MUCH MUCH MUCH!

"Micheal it's time for school! Are you ready?"

"No, no, mom you can't do this to me. Do you even understand what is happening to me!"

"No, I don't understand what you are talking about?"

"I just want to BE LIKE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG I JUST WANT TO HANGOUT WITH SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!"

Crap, I let it out again. This can't keep happening to me, can it?

"Alright dear I have your pills here, the ones your doctor actually prescribed this time."

Actually? What did she mean by actually? Whatever, feel better now. For now, at least. The pills help stop the sudden outburst and the occasional "sightings" of Sonic. Of course, he is not actually there, he's not even real. Either way, what the pills don't stop is the bullying. In fact, there is probably not going to be a way to stop it. And all it does is make my outburst and condition worse. No matter, the bus is here. I just have to hope for the best.

Chapter 2: THE TORMENT NEVER ENDS IT NEVER END PLEASE MAKE IT STOP STOP!

(To be continued) I want to see this storie's reception before I write out a full fledge story and get nothing out of it.


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81 Reviews


Points: 308
Reviews: 81

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Sat Oct 28, 2023 3:02 pm
ariah347 wrote a review...



Hey there, Dep1ctedINSANITY! Welcome to YSW! Today is review day, and I have chosen to review this little number. I preface that with a comment about my commentary; it is only to help you hone in on your craft. Don't shoot the messenger as they say, as my arrows are aimed at love!

I'll point out that there are grammar and spelling issues here. I use Grammarly's free version to spell-check and find errors in my work. Little things like that help us develop our writing better. Even seasoned writers can miss mistakes, and using a tool is helpful to enhance our pieces.

I can see the potential for a full-fledged story here. How did Michael become so obsessed with Sonic? What led to this? Even more, what made it transform into this dark voice that is suggested caused him to kill his mother? Will John and his unnamed partner help Michael or solve this case?

On the flip side, this makes for a very intriguing short story. Short stories, especially those by Hans Christian Anderson or the Brothers Grimm, often leave readers with questions and the need to re-read. This does that! Bravo! Thank you for sharing. Whichever way you go, especially if you further this, I'll be back to review: I enjoyed it that much! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world, a✮⋆




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979 Reviews


Points: 58
Reviews: 979

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Fri Oct 20, 2023 12:36 am
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Sonic.EXE. I’ve heard of him. Isn’t he evil Sonic? I find the internet Creepypastas to be some of the creepiest, because they’re a messed-up version of a beloved character.

What do I think of this story? Well, I like that you’re giving different perspectives, it’s cool to see the story from different viewpoints, This is only the first chapter, so I’m sure that the others will go into depth Michael’s pain and descent into insanity.

If this gets other chapters, I’ll check them out!

Who is your favorite Creepypasta? Mine is Laughing Jack.

Have a spooky day/night! :>





True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are, it requires you to be who you are.
— Brené Brown