There are some things that end before they even have had the chance to begin. You are one of those things, you could’ve been something but all you are is what could have been. Don’t you know that that is not enough? How can I continue on as if nothing happened? What happened? Nothing, nothing happened, but I can’t go on as if that nothing never happened when it did. It happened, nothing happened, and now I can’t pretend it didn’t.
You are the present I never got as a kid, but it’s not like it didn’t change me- of course it changed me. It bugged me and my 7 years of life to never get that doll I wanted so badly. It might be the reason I never got to be best friends with Sapphire and Daphne, because they had those dolls- and they tied them together. I couldn’t be tied to them, because I had no doll. Maybe if I had I would’ve sat at that table in school, where they sat now and where they invited you to sit. It’s silly of me to think a doll could’ve made what never happened, happen- but don’t you see? I could’ve been sitting at that table and maybe we would have talked. It doesn’t really matter what we would’ve talked about, because I just want to know what it would sound like. I mean, I did hear you talk- and maybe you even heard me talk sometime- but I want to know what WE would sound like. When WE talked to each other, I never got to meet the person that met me, nor hear him talk.
So you see, it’s not that you never touched my life just because you never actually touched me- because I think of you, all the time. ALL THE TIME! I want to stop, believe me, I do, but how can I? I realize that if I had gotten that doll, I would’ve probably tired of it eventually, by now it would probably lie in some charity-box, torn and used with tangled hair and dirty clothing. I would’ve probably never thought of that doll again. The thing is, 10 years later, I still think of that doll, the doll I never got. What if that is what you will become to me? The doll I never got. What if ten years from now, I still can’t shake you…
When I was seven I imagined what I would do with that doll, how I would dress her, nurture her and how we would take walks across the street, mostly I admit, I thought about how I would take her to school and show everyone she was mine, only mine. I don’t think like that anymore, I don’t want that doll anymore, but I still think of how life would’ve turned out if she had been mine.
-I think like that about you too. Those ten years haven’t passed yet, and so I still think of how I would kiss you, how you would hold me and how we would walk hand in hand across the halls and how everyone would see, that you were mine, and mine only.
Nothing ever happened they say to me. Nothing ever happened, you never knew him, and you must let him go. That is what they tell me. But they don’t understand how “nothing” can be everything.
The thing is, what if something else had happened. What if something had happened before what happened to him happened. Then maybe it would’ve never happened. The way that doll could’ve changed my life maybe I could’ve changed his?
Maybe I am that doll you never got. Maybe if you would’ve gotten me. You would still be here. They do not understand that I am mourning not only the past, but the future too.
Maybe if I had gotten you, I would’ve tired of you and realized, we were never meant to be. But that is not the case. You are the doll I never got, and I will never know how to let go of the life I never got to live.
Nothing ever happened, and because of that, I never got to learn how to let you go.
So here I stand, without a doll and with a heart consumed with love for someone who never got the change to love me back.
I love you though. So something must’ve happened.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,855 Reviews
I LOVED this. There Is no way I can tell you over the Internet, nothing I could say would tell you how much I love this. I am going through this same thing. O, my goodness, I feel like I'm going to burst trying to tell you how I feel about this. Seriously. I don't think my guy died, that's what happened to yours? Either way I haven't seen him in a month. Thank you for writing this. I feel so stupid feeling the way I do but now I know I'm not alone
solidarity sister! 
Wow! That was good and very emotional! I loved it! I think you should write more stuff like this! It is the best thing I have read in a while! I love stuff like this... It really has me sitting on the edge of my seat!
Really emotional. I like it. I understand you too. But in my case, I had "the doll", but it didn't matter somehow... We can take the understanding of "doll'' to a higher level, karma, that spark or something.
"How to let go of the life we never had" - makes me think, because I'm kind a in the same situation.
Writing is brilliant. your language is simple and plain, charming. I could read hundreds of pages.
Hey there, haven't done a review in forever so bear with me.
) But what I mean by that is that.... nothing is happening. Your character is monologueing.... even worse, monologueing about the past!
First off, keep the lyrical style to your prose, I liked it, and it is original to you--- you've got voice.
That being said, this piece could do with a little less repetition. Now, I'm assuming that this is written from a child's point of view, correct? In that case, the simpleness of word choice is good here, but keep in mind that less is more.
Repetition is boring.
This biggest things that bugged me were the use of "Nothing," "never," and "doll." Try getting some varience in there, the fewer times you use those words, the greater the impact they'll have.
*ahem*
Now to the story, (my self claimed forte ;P )
This starts of fairly well, it gets the reader's attention, but it doesn't grab. Try experimenting with different opening lines.
Secondly, this is knd of boring. (Not that I'm blunt or anything.
So, in order to get a reader well, reading, you need to eliminate the backstory. Here's what I would suggest: Have the character in that experiance as it is happening to her (him). You can still keep things vague and distant, creepy and dark.
But whatever you do, be aware that what you need is action. Any kind of action. A character who does nothing but talk is dry, and frankly, the reader won't care about them. Make us care about them. Give us tension and action!
Hope this (very) short review helps.
~ED