The Pen is Mightier then the Sword

The Pen is Mightier then the Sword

With your fist

You strike a blow

Upon man's cheek

To let blood flow

No brain to converse

No heart to listen

All that helps

Is to get into prison

With your words

Or a simple gestures

Be surprised to find

Your not on a stretcher

No mess is left

No harm is done

In my opinion

It's a battle won

A sword draws blood

A pen draws feeling

One draws pain

Other draws meaning

With might alone

No thought to ponder

You leave imagination

All thought of wonder

The pen is mightier

That will always be so

Its not what i think

It's what i know

Comments & reviews · 3
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Suzanne wrote:This is good but I still have something against it: you are rewriting one of the oldest clichés. Why dig it up from its rotty grave? Why not make your own axiom? "'The pen is mightier than the sword' is an adage coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1839." See, it is rather old, isn't it? Digging it up and trying to redo it is hard. You really have to be unique and original to even remake it, so it is a struggle to write about it in the first place.

The second thing I have to comment on is the spaces between your lines and the lack of punctuation. It may have been a format error, but you don't need spaces between each line. Why not take a look at this article? Poetry & Punctuation by Moi.
i say it is good to take out older ideas and use them to the writers will.; you still get the meaning you want yet you have i few more twists of your own

I suggest that if you are going to take on such a cliché as this, be sure to bring your own weapon to the battle. You might want to consider better word choice, more metaphors, and a more solid message. The title says everything you say in the poem, so why should I even read the poem?


i say it is good to take out older ideas and use them to the writers will.; you still get the meaning you want yet you have i few more twists of your own

User avatar
Emerson
Review
Emerson wrote a review · Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:03 am

This is good but I still have something against it: you are rewriting one of the oldest clichés. Why dig it up from its rotty grave? Why not make your own axiom? "'The pen is mightier than the sword' is an adage coined by Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1839." See, it is rather old, isn't it? Digging it up and trying to redo it is hard. You really have to be unique and original to even remake it, so it is a struggle to write about it in the first place.

The second thing I have to comment on is the spaces between your lines and the lack of punctuation. It may have been a format error, but you don't need spaces between each line. Why not take a look at this article? Poetry & Punctuation by Moi.


I suggest that if you are going to take on such a cliché as this, be sure to bring your own weapon to the battle. You might want to consider better word choice, more metaphors, and a more solid message. The title says everything you say in the poem, so why should I even read the poem?

User avatar
mirandamaddness
Comment

I love it! It really explains how words are better than actiona and how powerfull writers are.

I really have no complaints here.

Keep up the good work!!!

~Star



Have you met a cow or another large animal?
— Liminality