16+ Mature Content

My Mask

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

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Porcelain and pretty, without a flaw to be seen

My mask is a necessity; who you want me to be.

It hides the scars, the bruises and tears,

The empty behind my slate grey eyes,

Once blue, that stare up at the sky

And forces smiles so vacant

Like the hole where, for you, my heart once wept.

And beneath my mask, the identity that hides

The true demon at bay - Who I really am inside.

Comments & reviews · 5
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User avatar
ILoveBooks123
Review

Hello!

I like the poem! Well I always like poems with dark meanings and that really can relate to me. Depressing and dark poems are my thing! But I'm not saying yours is that dark But it's good already! True arts of poetry!

I didn't find any typo or errors...So it's a good thing. Even though the poem short I really do appreciate it! I love how you describe a person behind a mask. It remind of a fanfic that i read one time.

A great master piece! You describe everything pretty good like I told you earlier. I just found this simple unique and well written

You know I don't even know what else I can say about the poem. Beside: Wonderful!

Keep up the good work!

~ILoveBooks123

Hey there! Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much :)

xx- Delirium

User avatar
EccentricRose
Review

Hello Delirium!

My name is Rose, and I that to tell you that I loved this poem. It made me think of the movie "Phantom of the Opera." He too wore a mask but beneath it all was scars from a sad childhood.

It's a sad story just like this poem. But I really love it; sad poems I'm very familiar with. (It's my type! haha)

The meaning of the song is beautiful. Too many of us wear masks, and sometimes different masks depending on who we are around.

Please keep up the good work and good-luck.

~Rose

Hey, Rose! Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad that you enjoyed this so much. I can see where you got the Phantom of the Opera feel from it. I based it on my relationships with my family, friends and current partner. Once again, thank you so much :)

No problem!
I hope everything works out alright. It's okay to be yourself. <3
Great writing!

User avatar
floatingvoice
Review

Hi Delirium,

This is a great piece! I really like the formatting - aesthetically, it just looks pretty on the page. It reads so nicely too; it's got a great flow to it, so that when I read it, I can hear the words in my head. I noticed you've got some subtle rhymes (I don't know if they were intentional), like "eyes/sky" and "hides/inside." I think, again, they really add to the flow.

As for the subject, I think it's one of those themes that most everyone can relate to in some way. It speaks to me, being similar to the way I see myself, and the way I try to portray myself to others. The last line, "The true demon at bay - Who I really am inside," is my favorite. I've thought things almost identical, so it's a little unnerving to see those thoughts written down, and by somebody else!

-floatingvoice

Hi there! I'm so glad that you like this piece. As for the subtle rhyming scheme, that is my style. I tend to shy away from blunt rhymes, as they seem too harsh and restricting to me. I prefer rhythm over rhyme. Thank you so much for the amazing review :)

xx- Delirium

User avatar
Deleted4
Review

Hi Delirium,

Wow, this is amazing! I absolutely loved the concept of this piece.

And regarding Pretzelsing's comment, I completely agree. I think everyone, whatever age, wherever you're from, everyone can relate to portraying "who you want me to be".

Just one little thing, is the line "my heat one wept" supposed to be "once wept"?

My favourite lines were;
"The empty behind my slate grey eyes",
"forces smile so vacant"
and "The true demon at bay".
I truly envy you! :)

I really just lost myself in this poem, and I would love to see much more of your work in the future! :) Please Keep Writing!! :D

Whoops! Yes that "one" was a typo, haha. Thanks for catching that for me! I'm really glad that you enjoyed this piece so much. Thanks for the review :)

xx- Delirium

User avatar
Pretzelstick
Comment

I love this poem!<3 I can totally relate and I felt touched in my soul. Thanks.

You are quite welcome :) Thank you for the compliment!



Should we not walk? On our feet? The ones I now have again? I do like my feet. They are befittingly perambulatory.
— Pattern (Rhythm of War by Brandon Sanderson)