Published March 27, 2007
It all started with heart ache who knew it would come to this
A sad day... a sad awakening
Next was the misery the deep depression
She was lost, and could not be found
Life was never good for her
She never knew it would end like this
We can only hope death will serve her more than life did
R.I.P.
My soul
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141,285 Literary Works • 674,333 Reviews
Locked.
i hate you too
Ruby:
"I hate you" is not an appropriate response - to say the least and under any circumstances - to a comment on your work. If you have something you disagree with, go ahead and say it.
YWS is a writer's site where people post things looking for critiques to better themselves. If you only want to 'share' what you've written as personal feelings and such, it belongs in a blog.
(Any more "I hate you" sort of thing, and this thread will be locked.)
IMP
i hate you
Comma after 'ache'.
The final three lines (starting with 'life was never good for her') does not flow as well as the begining.
Also, what's with the big font?