Saving all the rest of them
the man lost his son and wife.
Saving all the rest of them
the old dog lost his life.
Saving all the rest of them
a child lost her her father.
Saving all the rest of them
the mother lost her daughter.
Saving all the rest of them
many lost their friends.
Saving all the rest of them...
Was it really worth it in the end?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey there! I'm Kat and I'm gonna review this for you! But first of all, welcome to YWS!
On to the review!
This is a bit vague. And short. it's a good theme. You could and should develop it a little more. It would make your point more clear and add a little length on your poem, which would be great here.
On the sixth line you repeated her, I suppose intentionally. On the beginning you kind of rhyme wife/life but on father/daughter they don't kind of rhyme. So it messed up the flow.
the end was the best part of it. The question just really makes us think. I applaud on that one. The rest needs work.
Those are my thoughts. Hope I helped.
if you need anything just PM me!
Okay. I am not sure what this poem is about but I'll take a guess from what I understood and felt in your poem, War?
While I read this I remembered a scene I watched in one of those documentary films about the war in Iraq. It seems like a question about the costs of a war. It may be to defend your homeland but how many die as a cost for security? Anyway, that is what I understood. It may be about a totally different thing.
The way you ended this poem with a question was very effetive.