I know people who believe in ghosts but
Not in themselves. Trinity Scholarships
Seeking keener’s love and tytonidae
blessing. And then seeking nothing more.
Once I too called upon them;
Baited myself for the hounds of Annwn- tried
and failed to call them with the transgressions
I carved in the boundary-stones of my skin.
Drake’s drum does not stir. Our battlegrounds lie
Like bramble-torn works of Wyndham art
on the lines and folds of ourselves. We are
a greyscale youth, the draugar children.
Your runes can no longer cure our Haugbui
hearts, our dark blue lungs. We are gone too far.
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125,016 Literary Works • 672,851 Reviews
I can never get over your word choice and the power you give in a very small opening( short poem) Even if some of the words went way over my head it was a very nice poem to read. I love the opening line it helps hit home right from the beginning and use the power to progress on.
It sorta looks like the meaning would be that we lose touch in what's really important in the long run, and to focus more on the importance verses the what ifs and believe in oneself. That's just my thoughts.
I also enjoyed how you could re-read this poem over and over and come up with a different meaning and ideas each time which ive seen it a similarity in your work.
Overalll really good job.
~Fallen
After I read this poem again and again, I love it more each time. Your vocabulary and descriptive words are beautiful- the thing is, it's so advanced that my un-advanced brain doesn't understand it
so I tried, and I think I have the general message- but I also think this is a poem where the reader can take their own meaning from it. To me, these are the best kinds of poems out there.
The last two lines of this poem are my favorite- you did a great job writing those.
Keep writing!
-rissymay
Thank you so much :>
If it's not too nosy of me, would you mind me asking what you thought the meaning to be? I'm really interested in different people's perceptions of ambiguous pieces
I took the message that humans can get lost in things if they're not careful- that we always have to focus on what we want and what's best for us.
this is very poetic and beautiful. the concept got lost a few times, but it was due to a great thing- awesome description and vocabulary! it captivated me the way Lewis and Tolkien do (to me at least); they get me so confused I have to read it over and over, but then I find I've fallen in love with reading phrases again and again because of its beauty. props to you on that.
the only thing I might suggest is a slightly different formatting. I like the way these stanzas fit but I'm not a huge fan of the way the punctuation and sentences tend to get caught in the middle of a line. does that make sense? I like it when a phrase takes up a few lines and doesn't end halfway, and then another phrase begins.
a more...abstract format, dare I say?
I don't know.
but this is just fine, don't get me wrong. hardly a thing to fault you on.
you seem very advanced and are a great writer.
keep it up and i'd love to hear more!
~iron.n
thank you so much! Uh, do you mind me asking where the concept got a bit lost? I want to tighten that up in future.
You're right on the formatting being a bit weird. I was going for a sonnet, but that's not really the right structure for this poem tbh
sure. it's mostly in the middle few stanzas. it gets confusing to understand what the meaning of it all is, but most of that is the wording, which is also what I most like about the poem. nothing you can change much. it's mostly just my ignorance, and that of the average reader.
yeah, that makes sense. I think you made the right choice, in that case.
heybestfriendwhat'sup
Oh, so, the post.
I'M HERE TO REVIEW IT
duh
So, your concept, I likelikelikey it. BUUTTT, (hahaha I said butt) it kind of confused me.
I most likely got confused because I'm an idiot and everything confuses me.
But it could possibly be because I just don't understand the way you write.
This is NOT A REVIEW ANYMORE cause I don't know what to review cause I'm tired & confused and I'm stupid.
hehe
so bravo sir
for confusing me
BY THE WAY-
Is that a mirror in your pocket?
cuz its a very nice one where did you get it