The Man with the Silver Crest

Hey, yo, Dbrd231! Strange here on this fantastic Review Day and I have a review for you!
METAPHORS! METAPHORS! THIS IS A METAPHOR! A VERY BLUNT ONE! Sorry for that entrance, but that's seriously what I said. This is about transgenders. See, I thought that the poem was good, but it kind of sunk when I found out about that. Nothing against transgenders, it's that the poem spoiled itself. It is talking about the LGBT+ community, which is ever so strong. I'm not homophobic or anything, but I felt that the poem thought it was great for portraying a message that is important, but fails in its tracks. It blatantly said "Metaphor!" and it ruined it. I don't know why. I guess it makes it more interesting, but then again, it doesn't work. You do it blatantly blunt, just striking the reviewer and reader in the face. It could of been more subtle, but instead, I felt that this poem is Mike Tyson, giving a right hook to my jaw. Unfortunately, the blow is weak, not doing anything.
You make the reveal anti-climatic, just ruining it. The imagery is nice, but you need to work on the delivery. It sure didn't help this poem, as, well, it's the reason for the poem's bad spot. I'm sorry for saying this, this is something you can improve on. I'm not being a cynical jerk, as I'm here to help. No need to blame me, we all have opinions for a reason.
Overall, meh.
Strange gives you...
Meh/10
Meh job,
Keep writing,
Stay groovy, my friend.

Hello.
Kanome here with a review for you.

Okay, this poem is really good, but I think you should fix some mistakes (just a few... not a whole lot.)

In this line:

Under the tree-with the sword-he sits.

Hide terrible secrets

Hi! I just want to say I like the way you used hyphens. After reading the other reviews ( I shouldn't do this first because it colors my views, but I do anyways!) I think it works linking the words together because it changes the way you read it without changing what you are saying. Its almost like a poem that you could clap along to. Like it makes the poem into a strange rhythm, like a war rhythm was what I was hearing in my mind.

I must admit when I read silver crest I was imagining a crest of hair like a mohawk! It made the character really rugged and strong like a warrior.

My favorite thing about this poem it it puts an image in your head and then screws around with it! What are those secrets? It was so suspenseful. I thought it would be much more dire than a secret gender confusion. I loved it. Best poem I've read today so far!

Hi there!

So I quite liked this. The form was very interesting-- the way you used the second line of the preceding stanza to begin the next stanza. I don't know what form this is, or if you created it yourself. Please enlighten me! It's a very interesting form!

At first I considered suggesting that you kept the poem a little more gender neutral, but it would ruin the point of the whole poem. I like the meaning, and how it's about today, but you weave it into a more fantastic setting.

Some of the stanzas seemed to be a little oddly worded because of the form. Perhaps consider changing the verb forms of some of the words to make it make more sense? The second to last stanza sticks out to me the most in that vein.

I think that the importance of the symbols used in the poem. I'm not saying to add tons more, but why is the silver crest a thing? Also, the name etched in green is something I didn't get. With the first one, it must be important because the darn thing made it into the title. Perhaps a family crest would make more sense since there isn't much room to add much more, and family has the same amount of syllables as silver does.

The hyphens in your poem should be dashes. Just a little thing. The difference is that an em dash, which you should be using here, are longer and symbolize pauses. Hyphens, which exist in the poem presently, are used to link two words together.

I don't know if "terrible" is the best way to describe the secrets. Breasts aren't that terrible. They're pretty great (I get what you're trying to do in the context of the poem, I just feel that terrible isn't quite the right word here). ^_^

Altogether, pretty nice job! With a bit of polishing this will be super fab! I hope that this review proves useful to you! Happy poeting!

This has very awesome description! It was like a total plot twist for me when you said "hiding a women's breasts".

I don't know if you meant for it to come out this way, but I imagined her as a pirate... I dunno. Sorry if this obvious or something, but what is a crest? And I am kind of confused with the line in the end where you said, "Do you see the man with the silver crest?". I thought it was a lady? I dunno... I guess I need a little explaining... You don't have to put it in your poem, I was just wondering out loud.