Seat 13A

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression

This was a nice little piece. I thought I'd take a look when I saw another work in the same category as the one that I reviewed yesterday. I think this one has a slightly happier message within.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

In the economy class window seat, Davie---stiff and picking at the plastic of her armrest---awaits for the landing of the plane and the hours following it. Her hazel eyes flipped left and right through the small window (that spanned overhead the lives of thousands and narrowed them down to green and yellow squares); however, her mind only pictured one place. That narrow, brownish-red stained apartment crammed next to other equally disappointing looking apartments, with a petite woman wisping about the kitchen and her burly husband crammed in the corner and typing away on his outdated laptop; that was home. She imagined her mother routinely assembling a pot of her favorite squash soup, and the nostalgic aroma seemed to drift from the kitchen to her stuffy cabin in the sky. That savory smell hugged Davie right where she sat; her eyes closed, her fingers relaxed from clawing the armrest, and her back sunk into the cushion. Any other locations left Davie's mind in that moment---her college dorm, favorite library, boyfriend's apartment, poorly lit office--- in less than three hours these places where that her life revolved around would just be places, and She would be home.

Davie's relaxed position only lasted a few seconds. Because, in about 10 seconds to be exact, her seat would begin shaking and her head would bump the headrest several times. In 20 seconds, her eyes would be wide along with an un-ending leg bob (the passenger next to Davie had placed her arm on the armrest that Davie's nail-bitten finger's desperately needed to pick, resulting in two knees resembling two jackhammers). In 30 seconds, the passenger beside her would look very concerned. In 40 seconds, the turbulence would stop; Davie's pounding heartbeat would not. During that span of less-than-a-minute---between her pure joy to see her home and her pure dread to be on that plane---Davie feared for her life. If I recall,

In 10 seconds, Davie forgot all about the soup, and her family, and her life back in Florida. (she inhales)

In 20 seconds, Davie contemplated what the next steps of action needed to commence if this plane were to crash.

In 30 seconds, Davie lost all self-awareness while sweating profusely next to her greatly disturbed passenger.

In 40 seconds, (she exhales) Davie begins to tear up as her hundreds of thoughts and emotions fill her head.

5 minutes after that, the plane lands. Just as every other flight, the young woman would grab her carry-on, exit, and shake off every bit of scaredness left in her. By the time she sits in the backseat of an Uber, she already leaves behind her horrid experience and her eyes dazzle through the window in New York. One might ask why she puts herself through that grueling situation repeatedly, and she would say,

"Other people are just as afraid as I am to be on a plane. For people like them; people like me; I think we look so forward to our destination before we realize we are boarding our biggest fear. By the time we are in the sky, there's really no other option for us but to wait until we land. Really, if you took away all the time spent worrying on the plane, I think you would see that we are happy before the flight and even happier after the flight. So I guess we're willing to sacrifice the fear spent in-between."

Hey, it's Serrurie, here to leave a review! This seems like an interesting short story, so let's dive in:

The Good Stuff
-Even though this story doesn't necessarily have a lot of 'action', it's definitely still fast-paced and I can feel a lot of turmoil like I would reading a fight scene.
-We learn a lot about our MC in this chapter without it feeling like info-dumping
-This story shows a lot of different moods throughout it, such as comfort, fear, and a split second of relaxation.
-I really liked what Davie was saying to herself at the end.

Room For Improvement
-

"Other people are just as afraid as I am to be on a plane. For people like them; people like me; I think we look so forward to our destination before we realize we are boarding our biggest fear. By the time we are in the sky, there's really no other option for us but to wait until we land. Really, if you took away all the time spent worrying on the plane, I think you would see that we are happy before the flight and even happier after the flight. So I guess we're willing to sacrifice the fear spent in-between."

Serrurie

Hey there, DavieB!!

Welcome to YWS!! I'm cookiesandcream and I happen to have the same profile pic as you! Anyways, Imma drop by and leave a review on your work.

First of all, I find this short story to be really clever and interesting, and it's also something that many people can relate to. (Me, for example, since I'm actually gonna board a plane in a few days for a 20 hr flight X_X.) I love the detailed descriptions and the figurative language you used, especially in the first paragraph (eg: The aroma reaching/hugging her in the sky). It's so creative and really conveys the sense of missing home!

The section that detailed what Davie felt every 10 seconds also really stood out to me, and gave the story a nice change of pace without feeling clunky or forced. The plot flows smoothly, and the ending message is nice and clever.

All in all, this is a really short but sweet story about the often-dreaded plane ride. It was fun to read and has an interesting structure too. Davie's also character shone through this despite the short length, and I'm curious to see how you'd weave characterization (of her or other characters) into your other stories. I hope to see more of your writing in the future! *Tips hat* Awesome job and have a good day!