Published March 18, 2010
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where is the poem???!! I really want to read it!!!
Thanks for your comment, Skins, I'll keep it in mind and maybe next time I'll put in a little more flow
Hey there David
I have to say, I really enjoyed reading your poem. I love your use of imaginary, it was really effective. Well done for that.
Although, I agree with what Elinor has said. "Yea" just doesn't seem to suit the rest of the poem. The rest of it seems a lot more formal compare to that line. I have to say though, it doesn't bother me to much, so it's all right.
These were my favourite lines. In my opinion, they were very effective. I like how the words drowsed and dreams flow into each other really well.
Overall, I think that this was very, very good!
Keep writing,
xoxo Skins
Thanks again for your comment, but again I fear you seem to have misunderstood me. Here I used 'Yea' as more of resolution of sorts, 'yes' in this context seems too commonplace. I do have a certain love for the Keatsian style of verse (this was actually meant to be in three stanzas, the first with 15 lines and the other two with 14 lines each like sonnets) but I don't think I'll go as far as the middle ages!! Though I'm glad you like it and thanks for your thoughts.
Hi David!
I just want to say that I really, really liked this. It seemed like a genuine medieval poem. It was beautiful, and the soft imagery and your use of "thee," "thine" and "thus" just added to the beauty of the poem.
However, there was one inconsistency.
The 'Yea' just kind of seems out of place, like it should be there. Also, I don't think they said, 'Yea' back then, if you're aiming for a true medieval poem, maybe 'Yes' would better?
Otherwise, it was nice. PM me if you have any questions.
-Elinor