I’ve seen the huge, amazing long-grass fields,
As they flash platinum to hue green as the wind yields.
I’ve seen the crashing might of a giant waterfall
Beams from the spray showing a rainbow standing tall.
I’ve seen the gorgeous orange skies streaked with violet
Watched further as they slowly subsided into twilight.
I’ve seen the wonder of a flowing forest creek
Tiny as a stream from the view of a mountain peak.
I’ve heard the majestic roar of a raging fire
As hundreds of sticks were immolated before it tired.
I’ve heard the outstanding squeal of a hunting kestrel
Before it swooped onto my arm, devouring its kill.
I’ve heard the alerting shatter of fragile glass
And fled the scene away from eyes scanning fast.
I’ve heard the rumbling echo of heavy thunder
As the powerful lightning breaks asunder.
I’ve tasted the bright yellow lemon’s notorious sourness
Leaving my tongue and tastebuds completely powerless.
I’ve tasted the strong fragrance of spearmint toothpaste
And how each food following it lost all its taste.
I’ve tasted the meaty, rich blood from a blue steak
Savouring it with every chew and all the time it takes.
I’ve tasted the smooth dark chocolate, bitter-sweet
Gained from a lot of hard work, a well deserved treat.
I’ve smelled the beautiful aroma of a dew-drenched rose
Getting so close the rain drops fill up my nose.
I’ve smelled the disgusting stench of manure on a farm
And cringed as I shielded my nostrils with my arm.
I’ve smelled the salty vapour of the ocean brine
Sat upon the bladderwrack rocks far past the warning signs.
I’ve smelled the delicious scent of fresh bread in a bakery
Licking my lips at the strawberry icing on the cake by me.
I’ve felt the unrelenting fear of a haunting nightmare
Waking in a cold sweat to the life that fights fair.
I’ve felt the comforting warmth of a girls flesh
And the indescribable emotion of love and excitement meshed.
I’ve felt the relieving, rehydrating water
Soaking my sweat-drenched hair, cooling me before I falter.
I’ve felt the bitter cold of the heartless snow
And forged it into the euphoria that all children know.
And when I think of all the things I’ve heard, smelled, tasted, felt and seen
I laugh at my good fortune, because in life so far, I’m only just a teen!
Hello,
Wow. Are you a professional poet or something? As I read this poem, your writing took me on a journey through the senses as I'm sure was intended. I love your deep descriptions and your refreshing language that I personally struggle to find some times. And even after all your describing, you somehow end on a note of irony.
You poem inspired me to think back over I've achieved in life as a teen. I think we all don’t quite realise the extent to which we have experienced. I especially love the line “I’ve seen the crashing might of a giant waterfall, Beams from the spray showing a rainbow standing tall.” because it reminds me of one of my favourite places to be- under a waterfall. ( That’s kind of strange isn’t it). the way it is written makes me think of those poems that we used to write primary school that went like At the beach I smell… I feel… I hear etc. except mine were horrible. This is a masterpiece.
Thank you very much for this enjoyable read and I hope, Fellow Dragon that we continue to win. To victory.
Vicky
Hello fellow Dragon,
First poem I've reviewed today and what a reward it's been! I can hardly believe that this poem only has one review because it is a true work of art.
For me poetry is such a struggle, so I only write it from time to time. But here you make it look effortless and a simple stroke of a brush on a blank canvas. (How?)
The concept was simple, but something you could elaborate so very far into. The result was rather fantastic, if I do say so myself. The length states your point of having a very full life at such a young age and your excitement for what's to come next.
My favorite line was probably in the first stanza:
"As they flash platinum to hue green as the wind yields."
Living in the country, I always find myself trying to describe the way the grass appears as the "wind yields." I haven't found a much more satisfying description than this line in your poem because it states exactly what I've attempted to describe in paragraphs in one simple line.
Very strong and satisfying for a poem, so keep at it!
Go Dragons!
-Jadefox
This was gorgeous, I loved it. It has so much use of words and you rhymed brilliantly well. Great imagery of sight, feeling, and of experience. You spoke of many different things, and it was all great. I was not quite disappointed, but more oddly surprised with the 3rd stanza though. The first 2 were streaming with vivid natural beauties, which I thoroughly enjoyed, and then you introduced these other things, and reading on I saw that it's all just description of experience and senses, so I understand, but was expecting more conveying of nature things, and found my self less interested by the third stanza with less depth to it.