Published August 9, 2026
Full yet starved,
Present without an appearance.
Listening to your every word behind bars,
Not able to respond yet speaking a thousand words of incoherence,
A waste of flesh, just a meat sack that belongs amongst the stars
Hollowed out bones that feel like stone ,too much to bear yet easy to care, dragging along not out of will but out of the human need for perseverance.
Empty…is that the right word for it?…
No it’s like retelling a pointless memoir using the pronouns you and ours .
Living a life made by a figment of one’s imagination, perfection no hindrance throughout all bones and ligaments .
Living, loving, losing, experiences being had through a narrow frame yet none sparking a flame whilst my life sours away.
What could’ve been, what should’ve been there’s no difference when your life is depicted as a perfect image an example which others should follow, a mundane life to live when nothing is anew.
(first poem done on here I did it cause I was bored also there are probably typos or punctuation not used correctly 😅. Enjoy, (pls do)
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138,710 Literary Works • 672,250 Reviews
Hi Danitheella! spottedpebble here with a review :D
I really enjoyed reading this poem. You have a lovely poetic voice. Each line sounds smooth and almost fluttery when read aloud. I like how you included subtle rhymes encased within some lines as well as at the ends. Both the structure of the poem and the words and imagery you used make this very fun to both read silently and to speak aloud.
Some of my favorite lines in particular are
I did notice some places where you put a space in front of your punctuation, which I'm assuming were typos, like with "stone ,too", "ours .", and "ligaments ." I also wonder if some of your longer lines might be better split into separate, shorter lines. As a reader, I got a bit tripped up coming across those longer lines and I think the poem might flow a bit better and be easier to read if sentences like were split into shorter lines like
Something specific that I really liked about your poem was the duality of two contradictory ideas that you included in multiple lines. You say the narrator is "present without appearance," "full yet starved," can't respond but speaks a thousand confusing words, a life as a "perfect image" even though it is mundane.
That's another theme you explore a lot in this piece — perfection and how it is pointless, imaginary, and mundane, and yet it's "an example which others should follow." We are told to seek perfection even when being perfect is boring. I like the contrast between these ideas of perfection being dull and boring and the title of Who Would I Be Without My Flaws? This makes me think that flaws are more important than being perfect, as flaws make a person more interesting and makes their life their own instead of "living a life made by a figment of one’s imagination."
This poem was super fun to read and interpret! I love seeing new poets join the site and reading their amazing work :D
Thank you for your comment
! I loved your detailed feedback and I will try to break my lines up into smaller ones. It’s just hard when you suddenly get an idea and want to write it onto paper instantly. I hope to write more soon.
I liked the concept of this poem very much! Despite the fact that you've written it while bored, I managed to find quite a few interesting images and paradoxes in it.
At the start of the poem, I was immediately attracted by the following lines:
It's interesting to see the contradicting notions in these lines. Immediately, one feels that the existence of the speaker is physical but not the kind of life they want.
I also liked the following lines:
There's something very interesting in the fact that you can't respond while having so many things happening inside your head. Such image fits the further ones about the speaker's emptiness and detachment from the world around him.
Speaking of the imagery, the poem features some pretty powerful images such as the ones connected with bones, flesh, and "hollowed out". Such images create quite a powerful physical description of the emptiness of the speaker.
In my opinion, the most powerful passage is the one where the speaker begins to doubt that the word "empty" is used correctly enough. This adds another layer to the poem and makes it not only descriptive but also introspective in nature.
What I would improve in this poem would be the use of punctuation and sentence structure. Some lines contain several ideas at once and splitting such lines will make some of the images stronger. For instance, the line starting with "Hollowed out bones" could be split into several smaller ideas.
I also found it interesting that the poem ends with the following line:
This line is connected with the idea of living according to the imagination of perfection, while in reality, life has become boring and predetermined.
Overall, I'd say that for a first attempt, this poem has a pretty good base. I would recommend you to try your luck in this style and see what you can do with it. Don't pay too much attention to the typos and punctuation right now—the ideas are more important at the moment.