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E - Everyone

a call to difference

by DaggerChild89

Two things are in a box

Humanity on the whole

And a camera

A simple camera

Picture your standard polaroid and there’s your camera

What’s the subject of this experiment

Are we the controlled or the variable

Well we’ll never know

The experiment begins too soon to show

The camera clicks once twice thrice

Delves deep into humanity’s soul

Pictures deftly through humanity’s ardor

Snapshots into humanity’s essence

Or presence probably presence

As our essence doesn’t go for much

We’re beautiful balls of fire

Dreadful kaleidoscopes of pain and passion

Putrid with power sacred with soliloquy

Dense with drama left with laughter’s loveliness lying lazily

Down the way of the weeping the weak the wasted by wickedness

Begging for a change

We’re tired

Can’t you see it

Eaten by hopes crushed too young and told to grow up

As infants we lie smothered in the dust of the older generations

Told the same things by their older generations

They too told the same things by their older generations

Again told the same things by tHE OLDER GENERATIONS

It’s a vicious cycle

Never ending never satisfied never amounting to anything

Full of hurt of loss of unfulfillment

Anxious every other step till we hit the grave

What we don’t measure up to we inflict upon our children

And expect them to carry the weight of our debts and desires

Tell them to grow up another minute sooner

How long

How long will it take before you and me watch him and her

Barely owning a first breath but already holding a briefcase

Full of shattered ambitions

Cursed to die slowly over a handful of torturous decades

Just waiting out the years till they can stop screaming internally

Till they can stop bleeding internally

Till they can stop counting every step every decision every moment internally

Till everything stops externally

This is where we’re headed

Somewhere superficially pleasant

But underneath millenia’s worth of rotten to the core

It’s overused over-trite over-finished

We’re overused over-trite over-finished

It’s nobody’s fault you know

I said it’s nobody’s fault you know

Well not entirely

History repeats itself

Are we clones or mere copies

We don’t want to be like the older we’s

Choking on their words and deeds

We look up to the stars for a reason you know

Longing for better

Longing for something new

Longing for a difference

A markéd difference

This is a call to difference

A difference I want to see

A difference I want to feel

A difference I want to hear to smell to taste

A difference I want to make

But not the difference

No not that kind of difference

No, not the difference I want to make alone.


this was originally written in english 111 as a rap verse by someone who can't rap and sort of turned into beat poetry by someone who doesn't really write poetry so idk it's some form of beat poetic rant you decide :D

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492 Reviews

Points: 5507
Reviews: 492

Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:59 am
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Holysocks wrote a review...

Heyo, I thought I'd stop by to give you a review! C:

So I definitely relate to the whole sort of... bagage that gets past down through generations- or rather, expectations that get passed down. I think parents just want us to do better, and not make the same mistakes they made, and do the things they regret not doing.

What we don’t measure up to we inflict upon our children

And expect them to carry the weight of our debts and desires

I felt like here, after all the sort of abstracty, poetic ways of saying it, it felt a little abrupt to come right out and say exactly what the poem was about- within the poem. At the same time, I was thankful for it because it reminded me what the poem was about. But I think there shouldn't have to be a need to out-right say it like that- we should be getting what it's about based on the other information in the poem that more alludes to it, if that makes sense?

The other thing I noticed with this piece, was that I found the flow a bit choppy? Like I found myself stalling on lines, and then jerking forward, and then stalling again, etc! I mean, we all do it- flow can be hard to get right. But it's really important because that's what keeps people reading your poem; one word leads into the next, one line leads to the next, all the way to the end. But when the flow is off, it breaks up the reading, and it's easier for someone to stop reading. It's the same with art- you need the right elements to guide the viewer's eye around the piece, so that they'll actually stay looking at it for awhile. C: so a way to figure out if the flow of a piece is off, is simply by reading it out loud to yourself! You'd be surprised what you can discover by doing that. :D

I think a reason why the flow could be off, is perhaps because the poem is being pulled in two directions. As you mentioned, this is part rap, part poem- and I definitely could tell this had something like that going on from reading it. I think it needs a little more direction- and part of that might be picking one format or another! c:

In any case, I thought this was very thought provoking- which is definitely what I look for in a poem (or rap!), so kudos! C: keep it up!


Thanks so much for the review! I do see what you mean by the abruptness of the quote. It wasn't exactly written in order, but that could probably have been placed higher up at the very least or like you said, omitted. I'll keep that in mind!

As for the flow, it was for the most part intentionally written choppy and uneven. There are definitely some areas where it could have been smoothed down but for the most part it was supposed to sound glitchy and interrupted to give off more of an emotional charge.

Again I'm glad you thought it worked and thank you!

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28 Reviews

Points: 452
Reviews: 28

Thu Jan 24, 2019 5:58 pm
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xJoeyx wrote a review...

henlo, this is jade back with another review.
this is actually the first review ive done in many months so bare with me, heh.
oh my goodness this is amazing. i dont know if you wrote this or somebody else did and you posted it but cudos. I actually loved some of the repetition because it made your point on history repeating itself. it shows lots of character and realistic ideas.
some of it didnt make sense to me but im also just confused in general but i did see what was happening.
i loved the ending when you repeated the words 'a difference i want'. it made it easier to imprint into our minds that we need to change and make a difference or else we will just repeating over, and over.
this poem had a few interruptions in the flow but it did help with the idea of humanity.

thank you for sharing this and i am looking forward to more of your work.

Thank you!! I did write it haha. Just a question, what part didn't make sense to you? I struggle with clarification occasionally and I would really like to know so I can work on it.

The interruptions were there on purpose to sort of idealize the brokenness of nature if that makes any sense. Like glitches in thought XD

Thanks so much for the kind comment!

xJoeyx says...

I was actually really confused about the beginning and how it takes part in the piece. Could you kind of clue me in?

Oh sure! It's supposed to be representing the inside-the-box situation humanity has trapped itself in. This is put to test (or blind experiment) by the camera, which proves the problem by taking metaphorical moments in time (pictures), which is kinda talked about in the rest of the poem. I could have connected it better or just written it better so sorry for the confusion %uD83D%uDE02 I didn't really write it straight line by line so it's a bit woozy

xJoeyx says...

That's alright!! I still thought it was really good.

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93 Reviews

Points: 3935
Reviews: 93

Thu Jan 24, 2019 3:17 pm
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ShapeOfVoid says...

'What we don’t measure up to we inflict upon our children

And expect them to carry the weight of our debts and desires"

I can so relate.

Beautiful poem, by the way; I'll probably leave a review this sunday. Just wanted to say that these are some very beautiful lines. :) I like it.

Thank you so much!!! I'll be looking forward to it haha <3

"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."
— Fredrich Nietzche (Philosopher)