If I, Would You?

You've already got a few reviews on it and having read all of them, I do know poetry can express what prose cannot. You may or may not agree to what I think, but I believe, reading it should take enough time to leave an impression on your readers' minds. It went through my mind too quick as if I were just reading a few lines of prose. It felt empty, something missing in between the verses. It needs something more between the "If........" and the "Would you still.....?" lines. I hope I've not made it all look complicated, actually new to the reviewing stuff :').

Hello.
Simple, elegant and to the point, the way I like it. Poetry is the expression of heart. Poetry can do in a few lines what prose fails to achieve in a hundred pages. The effect you can have on someone with a few lines is truly amazing. I was mesmerized by your poem. I think the same ideas can be expressed in a variety of ways. I remember Enrique Iglesias' song 'I can be your hero'. It lingered somewhere around the same place. Good job. Keep it up.

I liked this poem, as it had a deep meaning behind it. It is a good question as I personally think people do see us differently depending on our outward appearance. I think the non-rhyming style adds to the poem, but a few descriptive words scattered here and there would make the poem a bit better. Overall, a really good piece of poetry with thought-provoking lines. Keep writing meaningful poems like this!

Radrook here for a review. Please feel free to reject any suggestion deemed not helpful. If I offend I apologize. Not intentional. That having been said:

Thanks for sharing this poem about a person who wonders whether he would still be loved if the other person knew what he was thinking or if his outward appearance were marred. The answer to such a question would depend on what the person is like on the inside. Some persons are living a veritable masquerade where the mask they wear if stripped away would reveal the grotesque individual hiding behind it. In any case, the poem focuses very well on the human need for privacy and the need to not reveal our flaws to others for fear of being condemned and disliked. After all, none of us are perfect and most have skeletons in the closet that are preferred to remain hidden.

The question about outward appearances depends on the beholder's values and how much he loves the other. A physical deformity might or might not affect the relationship in a drastic negative way.

All in all a very fascinating thought-provoking read about a very controversial subject.
Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Suggestions

If my cheek was [deeply] scarred,

[w]ould you still [pronounce] me pretty?

[w]ould you still [deem] me eloquent?

[w]ould you still [describe] me brilliant?

[w]ould you still say I am sane?

hey Daenyss! up for a short review.

The story behind is quite interesting, so thumbs up. All the description, word choice, format and things were in place. Would be better if it would be more descriptive and had rhyming. Yah you must be thinking that again someone's here to point out rhyming pattern and believe me I also don't like to here this thing from others but still, it creates a good effect and flow as well.

all in all, it was short , simple but still strong.
Cheers!

hope to read more of you.

~mayo~

Interesting . . .I think the problem here is . . .not enough vived descriptions. Flows very well however. It's easy to read and understand. But one line is confusing
If the thoughts of my mind were trapped there . . .trapped where? Please clear that up. Other wise very nice. I assume you spent along time on this.