How much ilove you

Hi DIAMOND!

I like the idea behind these lyrics. At a first look, it seems that it's going to something quite specific, which I like.

I do have a few issues with this, though. Firstly, it's very short and very repetitive. I feel like not a lot is said, and the things that are said are very generic and just not that interesting to read. It's all a bit cliche, not specific as I though it'd be at all. I know these are lyrics but try and throw in some poetic devices in there, like metaphors and similes. That would make this a lot more engaging.

So on that note, I think some more imagery would be great. Think about how much the narrator of this poem loves the other person, and try and express that in a more abstract kind of way. So again, metaphors/similes/ just general abstract descriptions. Think about nature, that's often a good place to start when doing these things.

My last point is going to be on the structure of this. I feel like this could be perhaps one verse of the song? Or maybe a chorus, but not long enough to be the whole song. Generally in songs there are verses, a chorus, and sometimes a bridge. From the tone of these lyrics, it sways more on the pop side of lyrics, so I'd highly recommend thinking about a structure for these words, and adding more to it, like a chorus/hook.

I hope this helps, feel free to ask me any questions or if you'd like another review on anything. Keep writing,

~ArcticMonkey x

Hey, Diamond! Strange here and I have a review for you!
Alright, this is the first time I have reviewed in a while so let me jump into this. This was an interesting poem, not by its subject, but how you delivered it. To be honest, this idea brings nothing new to the table. It is the same idea for love poems that gets retreaded over and over. What makes this poem special, however, is that it holds a lot of potential. Not by its idea, but how you use it. Let me get onto the good stuff first.
The i's can actually hold a lot of emotion, if one was to use it right. For some reason, whether it was intentional or not, made this poem more intimate. It made me feel that there was a whole boiling pot between you and the person you wrote this poem for. Sadly, that was nearly the only thing the poem has going for it. The stanzas/lines are put together and flowed normally. There isn't that much noticeable mistakes, but it isn't the best poem.
As for the mistakes, like it was said before, this brings nothing new. Now, on YWS, there are always romance poems that feel like the same thing over and over again. Really, it's about the content. There was a point where I thought that it would break the lines that it was already forming in, but sadly, no. Good luck!

Alright, ciao and stay groovy

Hey Diamond,
Welcome to YWS!!
I think your song is beautiful, Moving, and it flowed well. I definatly felt your emotions in the words. Over all a well done piece.

Ok so now I will nitpick
I noticed a couple of small things.
1. Many of your 'i' s, in reference to yourself, weren't capitalized.

2.

"But you are not far for me"

"I think every thing is clear simply i can’t live without you"