Pain

by CymbalCow

Published November 22, 2012

In Emotional

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Sometimes, it is really hard to get up in the morning knowing that you could be gone anyday now. You were my best friend in the whole world. To see you fall so hard, made me sink to rock bottom just as fast. We ended up in the same boat going to the highest waterfall I've ever imagined, also known as death. And the thing is, we put it upon ourselves. I screwed your life over a bit, and doing that made me feel so terrible inside that it became too much to bear and panic attacks became one of my only friends. People called me such cruel names, and I could never get away from the bullying. I had been bullied throughout my whole life. Since 1st grade. It didn't just start this year that people didn't talk to me for things I had done. And now it takes a toll. One I never truly dealth with. I pushed it down as I grew up. I became more and more irritable and angry. Tried "emo" and still am trying it. Nothing works. Should I just give up trying to figure out why people hate me?!? I'm so different! I can't get over feeling so... awkward.

Comments & reviews · 4
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lemona98 Review
lemona98 wrote a review Review · Nov 24, 2012

Things do get better but you have to stop caring what other peple say and just do what makes you feel right. do what makes you happy stop trying to please others you wernt created to wake up every day to please others you were created to please god and yourself

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Skyy
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Skyy wrote a review Review · Nov 22, 2012

This seems like quite a heartfelt thought. At first it seems literate and thought through. But by then end you are just speaking your mind.

People are different, some more so than others. I was bullied for 7 years, it stopped because I changed my physical and mental performance when around others. When I moved school I took the advantage and changed myself, and it stuck. What you have to do is to appeal to others, become more 'normal' on the outside and stay the same on the inside, eventually you stop thinking about the acting and it just becomes a part of you. Don't change so suddenly though, gradually work you way into a fashion style that is popular and maybe listen to some other music. But over time, so its not obvious that you are changing.

When you can do this is works amazingly. I'm now quite a popular person and get on with basically everyone! I just have a little mask that I put on when I'm around different people. The smokers, the chavs, the hipsters.

I find the way to return to myself though is through writing.

So keep writing and see if it helps! What you have done here is a good start. But rather than spill the raw emotion and thought, flavour it up a bit with descriptions and maybe put your feelings and thoughts into poetry.

Hope I helped!

-Skyy

Well thanks a bunch! I tried last year to change a little bit because I switched schools to some private one. So I was more normal last year than I am this year. I'm just different than everyone else, and I'm not even trying. Writing does bring me back to all my raw feelings on how people used to and still do treat me. I tried being friendly with those people who tore me down, but they refuse to let anything go. That doesn't make me feel too great either.
Thank you so much. You're advice will not go to waste. :)



The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451