Young Writers Society

Hey, CuriosityCat! Wisegirl22 here to review your...bloody work. O.O

So, in the first stanza, you kind of confuse me with your words there. "A toy's getting the chop" and "strife playing with its knife" aren't the best words to use, not in my opinion. It might muddle up the reader's understanding, and you don't want that, especially with a song...most songs are pretty confusing already.

"It's beginning to look like the Nightmare Before Christmas

Everywhere you go!

Take a look in the butcher’s shop.

A toy’s getting the chop!

It causes strife playing with its knife. Uh-oh!"

I like the repetition at the end, however I think labeling the verses and choruses will be better, in this case. I was a little confused at first as to why it was repeating.

So overall, I would rate this a 8/10. The content is pretty gruesome, and yeah. Not exactly amazing for a nine year old. But, I could bear it and I think it was fine. Good job on this song, it was humorous!

-wisegirl22

This was really funny to read, you capture the atmosphere of the Nightmare Before Christmas seamlessly, and I loved the "christmas tree from hell" stanza. It evenly matches the original song without any hyphens or stuff like that. "God save your soul" was funny, too. This feels like it should be the music to the montage of Jack giving the presents. It was also a bit creepy in the
second stanza, which just added to the perfect tone. Its gets even better when you read it in the cheery choir of the original. Great job and Happy Holidays!

Hi, I'm Phoenix and I'll be reviewing your lyrics today! First I'm going to start by saying this is not what I expected- it's better! I totally thought it would be about the movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas, totally turned out to be better!

I really like how the chorus adds another "God save your soul" at the end of it! It just adds to the creepy affect, nice!

I did notice a few things, like how you capitalized "nightmare" and "before", when they shouldn't be, unless you're talking about the movie. Actually, I think that's all there is!

This is super creepy, great job!

Keep writing!

- Phoenix

Hey, im brielle. I Love these lyrics. They made me Laugh because It was funny.

"It's beginning to look like the Nightmare Before Christmas!

Deadly toys in every store.

But the creepiest sight to see

Is the dolly that will be

Watching you through your door."
This Stanz had me Like YESSSSSSSS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!
I like the image you give me because the description is so Good. I song it as the song to with the rythme yes. GOOD Job thou! BYEEE