Read My Lips_Chapter One_Part o01

Read My Lips.

Prologue

“Hurry up; if I miss seeing the new guys I’m so going to smother you in your sleep.” Riley threatened as she tugged on my arm. I was sitting in the library of the school trying to do some studying before 1st period.

“You go, I have to do this.” I say and she stomps her foot childishly.

“No, now come on. I’ll look weird staring by myself, I need a groupie.” She said and I glared at her smiling face. She pouted and I couldn’t resist those blue puppy dog eyes. I sighed and closed my lit book. I stood up and pushed the chair in.

“Fine but if I fail, I’m smothering you in your sleep.” I threaten and she giggles and pulls me with her. We run out of the library and down the hallway, she burst through the main entrance doors taking me with her and stopped dead in her tracks. I grabbed a hold of my knee caps and took a deep breathe. I looked up to see Riley staring wide eyed, I followed her gaze. There was an Audi sitting right in the front of the school and out stepped two of the hottest guys I have ever seen, and twins at that! One a little shorter than the other, the taller one locked the car and stuffed his hands in his pockets; he had on a blue and black plaid shirt with dark jeans on, with Black DC’s. The shorter twin had on a red shirt with white skinnies and red and white forces, his hat tilted to one side as he winked at the girls who were looking. I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest, they were cute but I already didn’t like them. Couldn’t they be like everybody else and just park the car and walk in like normal people?

“A…are you seeing t…this?” she asked smacking my arm. I smacked her hand away and rubbed my arm, I’m tender.

“Yes Riley, now can I go back to the library?” I say and she shakes her head.

“They’re coming this way. How do I look?” she asked and I looked at her like she was acting like a boy crazed hormonal teenage girl, which she was. She rolled her eyes and turned back around and her eyes went wide. They stood right in front of us. I shook my head at her and looked up at the two boys. They both had identical chocolate brown eyes; with the hair to match; one had his hair cut short in a cropped fashion. The others was curly and in a mess all over his head. I looked at them wondering if there was something they wanted.

“Yes?” I ask in an annoyed tone.

“Door?” The tall one asked and Riley shivered as her eyes fluttered. He had a nice accent, it was definitely a foreign one and I guess a little exotic. I moved out of the way but Riley was frozen. The short one stepped up to her and looked her in the eyes and smooched his lips. She licked hers and sighed, “You know what would make me really happy?” the shorter one asked and Riley shook her head like an idiot. Where is her dignity? On the floor just like she will be if she inhales anymore of his cologne. He leaned down so his lips were close to her ear, he looked over at me and smirked. “For you to move,” He said and she moved over. They walked in and Riley finally sucked in a breath.

“He talked to me!” she squealed and I held the bridge of my nose as I placed my elbow on my other arm shaking my head back in forth, what am I going to do with this girl? I grabbed her arm and tugged her into the school building.

Chapter One: First Impressions

I was tapping my pencil on the table as I tried to figure out this test when the door opened, and in walked one of the twins. I think it was the taller one, in my opinion he was cuter than his brother. Probably because his brother reminded me of a horny Chihuahua just humping everything, but I couldn’t be sure, I didn’t even know the guy.

“Sorry sir, I had to get my schedule and things from the office, the secretary wasn’t prepared for us coming today.” He explained his voice just as soft and husky as it was when he wanted to enter the school.

“Sit next to Blair; she’s the one with the dark hair.” He said and my breath caught in my throat and I started coughing out of nowhere. I shook my head as everyone looked at me, I muttered sorry and went back to taking my test. The stool next to mine scraped over the floor and the smell of axe and Irish springs consumed my senses. I had to put for an effort to keep my eyes from fluttering he smelt so good. I continued my test not even looking over at him but I could feel his heated gaze on me. I looked over at him and he gave me a sweet smile, I looked at him like he was retarded before looking back at my test. I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand and tried to focus. I looked over at him through the corner of my eye and he was still staring. I sighed and looked over at him and he smiled again. What was with this guy? He was creeping me out.

“What?” I whispered and he shook his head and shrugged. I roll my eyes and turn back to my test again, hoping that this time I can actually finish this stupid thing. I looked at the question and set my pencil down and ran my hands over my face.

“What’s wrong?” I heard him whisper and I looked up at the teacher who was busy on his laptop. I turned to him.

“None of your business,” I say and he looks hurt before turning and facing the front. Humph showed him didn’t I? I finished the test and took it up to the teacher and placed it on his desk, I probably failed that crap. I should just go get my pillow ready and wait for Riley. I lay my head on my arms and try to take a nap when he tapped my shoulder.

“I’m Dixon.” He said and I shrugged.

“Okay?’ I say and lay my head back down; he had a thoughtful expression on his face. I tried to ignore him the rest of class but he just kept tapping me. I looked up at him and glared.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“How old are you?” he asked and I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. I asked God why he was torturing me before looking over at Dixon.

“I’m 17, are you happy now?” I ask and he shakes his head. This boy was maddening and I just found out his name like 20 minutes ago.

“Why are you so uptight?” he asked and my moth gaped open. I wasn’t uptight! Was I?

“I’m not, I just don’t like talking to people I don’t know.” I say and he thinks about it.

“Well then how do you meet new people?”

“I don’t,” I say and lay my head back down, hoping that he’d get the clue and realize that that was the end of our little discussion. Thankfully the bell rang and I stood up and grabbed my books. I walked away just as he opened his mouth to talk but I was already exiting the classroom. I was happy to get lost in the crowd and hopefully find my locker. I open it and feel a presence behind me.

“What are the odds?” I hear Dixon say as he starts doing the locker next to mine. Are you serious?

“Are you stalking me?” I say opening my locker and ‘accidently’ smacking him in the head with it. I try not to laugh as he clutches his head and glares at me.

“No, but I think that counts as bullying,” he said and I shrugged. I grabbed my books for the next period when I heard a gasp. Riley looked like she was about to pee her pants, she pointed to the guy next to me. I nodded and rolled my eyes.

‘How did that happen’ she mouthed.

‘IDK’ I mouthed back. She fixed her hair and walked up beside me, on the side he was on to be specific. She leaned against the locker ‘accidently’ bumping into him.

“Oh, sorry didn’t see you there. I’m Riley.” She said extending her hand and he looked at it before placing his in hers.

“Dixon,” he said and shut the locker; his gaze met mine before walking away. I finally felt safe to be nice and looked over at Riley. She bit her lip as she stared at his retreating figure.

“He’s too hot to be true.” She said and I shook my head.

“Come on missy, we have Biology to get to. Not that you aren’t already studying his biology.” I say and she looks at me and shakes her head laughing.

“You are so lame,” she said and I pushed her playfully.

“Says miss-humps-a-lot.” I say and she gasps and smacks my arm. I laugh and give her a hug.

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Hello :)
I'm Truth and I shall be your reviewer tonight! Let's start with the most unpleasant...

“Hurry up; if I miss seeing the new guys I’m so going to smother you in your sleep#FF0000 ">, comma” Riley threatened as she tugged on my arm. I was sitting in the library of the school trying to do some studying before 1st period.
“You go, I have to do this#FF0000 ">, comma” I #40BF00 ">said and she #40BF00 ">stomped her foot childishly.

Alright, first thing is you need to have a comma separating your dialogue from your narration. Then, you need to keep your verbs either in the past, or in the present. It's a common mistake to switch back and forth between the two but it's not right. Just make sure you keep it totally past :)

Here: #FF0000 ">past= red #0000BF ">present=blue
“Fine but if I fail, I’m smothering you in your sleep.” I #0000BF ">threaten and she #0000BF ">giggles and #0000BF ">pulls me with her. We #0000BF ">run out of the library and down the hallway, she #0000BF ">burst through the main entrance doors #FF0000 ">taking me with her and #FF0000 ">stopped dead in her tracks. I #FF0000 ">grabbed a hold of my knee caps and #FF0000 ">took a deep breathe. I #FF0000 ">looked up to see Riley staring wide eyed, I #FF0000 ">followed her gaze. There was an Audi sitting right in the front of the school and out stepped two of the hottest guys I #0000BF ">have ever seen, and twins at that! One a little shorter than the other, the taller one #FF0000 ">locked the car and #FF0000 ">stuffed his hands in his pockets; he #FF0000 ">had on a blue and black plaid shirt with dark jeans on, with Black DC’s. The shorter twin #FF0000 ">had on a red shirt with white skinnies and red and white forces, his hat #FF0000 ">tilted to one side as he #FF0000 ">winked at the girls who were looking. I #FF0000 ">sighed and #FF0000 ">crossed my arms over my chest, they were cute but I already #FF0000 ">didn’t like them. #FF0000 ">Couldn’t they be like everybody else and just park the car and walk in like normal people?

It's confusing isn't it?

She rolled her eyes#FF0000 ">, comma turned back around and her eyes went wide#FF0000 ">; They stood right in front of us.


The other#40BF00 ">'s was curly and in a mess all over his head.

It's his hair the others 'hair'.

The stool next to mine scraped over the floor and the smell of axe and Irish springs consumed my senses.

Axe and Irish Spring? ooof, the smell must be very strong.

I looked #40BF00 ">glanced over at him and he gave me a sweet smile, I looked at him like he was retarded before looking back at my test.

Since you already use 'looked' again so close in the same sentence, I would suggest you use something else, like 'glance' for instance.

“None of your business,” I say and he looks hurt before turning #40BF00 ">to facing the front.


“Why are you so uptight?” he asked and my #40BF00 ">mouth gaped open. I wasn’t uptight! Was I?
Just a small typo here.

She fixed her hair and walked up beside me, on the side he was on to be specific.

This doesn't sound right... try rephrasing it.


Overall, this has a lot of potential. It's pretty good, just be careful with the mistakes. I want to know what's going to happen! Keep on writing!

-Truth-



trust your heart if the seas catch fire (and live by love though the stars walk backward)
— E.E. Cummings