Hello!
This is a fairly nice piece! I often think that pieces about love are often repetitive, and overused so much that it gets boring - but you put a little different spin on it. Instead of using the word "love", you describe them with a word - "beautiful".
I've stayed awake and counted the stars while contemplating how you are, how stereotypical is that?
This sentence has more than one "thought" in it. I don't recommend using a comma - try just making it a completely new sentence. I find myself pausing more than just a comma there. (example: "I've stayed awake and counted the stars while contemplating how you are. How stereotypical is that?")
Other Suggestions:
The repetition of beautiful is well, beautiful, but I think you should write something about how the author knows beautiful is overused, but clearly, it is the only word he/she can use. To some readers, the repetition might be found annoying, so if you included something about how the reader knows he/she says it a lot, then maybe that would explain your repetition more, and make it not so... Annoying, to some readers. Also, maybe ending with beautiful - "Just everything about you - is beautiful" would help as well. Just a thought.
Overall, this was a great piece!
Fantastic job and welcome to YWS! 
Keep up the great work!~Snazz Pizzazz
Points: 119
Reviews: 377
Donate