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E - Everyone

Ink Black

by CrystalWoolf


The sky was black, ink black. Bright blue stars dotted the vast sky in front of my eyes with the occasional odd green one. Behind me the sounds of cars whizzing by met my ears from the nearly empty freeway. My fingers tapped impatiently against the metal railing, the only sign of how my patience was withering as I waited nearing the twenty minutes. Mother was supposed to already be here. It wasn't too surprising that she was late although she always nagged at us about our lack of punctuality, she did spend the majority of her time in some meeting or another and being one of the big three was time consuming. Even still it wouldn't have hurt to let me know she was going to be running a little behind schedule. There were only thirty minutes left before the unveiling of brother's statue that would mark the seventh family statue that stood amongst our teaming city of Relic.

Screaming sirens covered up the sound of the speeding cars and having nothing better to do then to watch the spectacle I turned my head to get a better view of the chase. A large neon painted four door sped down trying to avoid the hovering cop cars as they began to overtake them. Not having hovers the neon car was at a huge disadvantage but it couldn't be helped those who were not part of the government had to make do with the old fashioned technology because they wanted to reserve the air highway for the emergency vehicles. The neon car slammed full on into a semi that was heading straight towards the F-12 highway making me wince knowing the person in the neon car had been reduced to nothing more but a part of the scrap metal that now littered the freeway where the police were now closing down a lane for cleanup. The whirling sound of an engine met my still ringing ears and I turned sharply back to the ledge where I had been watching.

Hovering perfectly equal to the railing was a sleek light grey car, perfectly polished to the point where it served better than a mirror. Instantly I recognized the model, the government issued SC-24, my mother's favorite. The back door closest to me rotated open to reveal a woman who looked to be in her thirties but was actually 59 as of last month. Perfectly smooth jet black hair fell to just below her chin and wrapped flatteringly away from her face, makeup caked her face to form a flawless mask of paleness two shades lighter than her natural skin that looked whiter than porcelain. Bright turquoise colored eyes stood out under her thick ivory black false eye lashes that were dotted with specks of crystal blue to add to the whole affect. Today the woman was clothed in a sharp shiny ruffled lavender pencil suit decorated with a lacy black border. Yes, this woman was my mother.

An almost invisible black ear piece was lodged carefully in her ear as she spoke self-importantly to whoever was on the other end of the line. Her voice was sharper than a dagger and unquestionable as she obviously won over whatever argument she had been in then switched back to another conversation only smiling slightly as a way of acknowledging my existence. The driver of the week was an older man who either hadn't used near enough products to maintain a youthful look or was twice the age of my mother, either way he was not worth a second glance. Respectfully the man moved to open my door mumbling the appropriate greeting, "How do you do Miss Dorpager?"

It was a question that was not to be answered, only a formality showing respect on their part. As my mother had told me they did not expect an answer only to be answered with silence. To actually answer was to lower yourself to their level and not to be done. Gracefully stepping into the waiting vehicle I seated myself comfortably against the white leather seats, keeping my perfect posture at the same time. I ignored my mother next to me who was still engaged in at least seven conversations at once knowing that as always we would not speak. Although this was the case it wasn't something I regretted, no it was also quite expected. In public we would put on the appearance of a close and loving family, of the perfect family but as it was all of us rarely spoke to one another. The blinding lights of the freeway were soon out of view and the beams of the city replaced them marking our quick arrival to the unveiling ceremony that we were almost late to.

Not having any time to spare our car landed upon the closest port to our reserved seats which connected neatly to the stage in case brother called us up to share in his honor, which of course he would. The reporters had more than a hundred cameras trained on us as we emerged from the car trying to catch a sneak peak of us before the ceremony started but we were running too far behind to oblige to their wants. As I stepped down onto the shimmering tile floor of the port my heels clicked pleasantly. Easily and with perfect practice I moved to link my arm with my mother’s as we walked purposefully down to the elevated boxes that we would watched comfortably from making sure to smile slightly as if honored to attend. No, we were not honored to attend but it would make us appear better on the news and that was what mattered so I played along with it as always.

As soon as we had taken our seats the screens flared up to give everyone a good view of the stage and the lights all swiveled to shine upon a giant clothed figure which everyone knew to be the statue. Only mildly curious as to the likeness of the image in comparison to my brother I watched not really listening as the opening speaker spoke in praising words of my brothers magnificent deeds for our beloved city Relic. The majority of the deeds mentioned were done for publicity to use and not as any real gift considering our family always benefited from it but it was still amusing to hear them be interpreted as done out of the "kindness of his heart to benefit the people of Relic". Though touching the message was false, my family did not believe in charity work that only served as a negative drain on necessary funds. My father was not going to be attending today as my mother had instructed him to take her place as a host to a "charity" dinner party down on Fells Avenue, while she came here to "support" my brother in his moment of triumph. In reality she was only here to increase her outstanding image as a kind and loving mother but the broadcasters didn't need to know that.

Often times I wondered why I had to endure such never ending speeches but since I already knew the answer I sat through it with as much fake patience as possible, which for me meant I seemed to be enjoying myself. Instinctively I could feel the many cameras and eyes on me when they should be on the stage recording this momentous occasion, who could blame them though I did look stunning as always. For this occasion I had made sure to wear my polished black double heels increasing my height by nine inches so I would look to be the same height as my brother who would be receiving an award. That wasn't even the most impressive part of my image today though; my slim perfect body was wrapped delicately in a see through scarlet red long sleeved wrap made modest by the sparkly thin but completely concealing loose black top. Silver and black layered semi oblique pieces of cloth fell at various lengths making up my skirt, my drowning black slip making sure nothing revealed too much. Yes, I had been careful tonight to ensure my outfit wasn't too showy, it was after all my brother who was the main figure of tonight's celebration and I didn't want to steal too much attention from him. Since I had been trying to blend in a bit tonight I had only worn one pair of intricately wrapped silvery black earrings and left my hair to fall down in natural curls. The only makeup on my face was a bit of silver eyeliner that made my naturally dark eyelashes pop even more than they normally did.

Pleasantly distracted from the overly long speech mentally while keeping my eyes trained on the covered statue of my brother I let myself smile a little more as the speech finally drew towards a close. Echoing drum rolls began to rile up the crowd and increase our lack of patience as the cloth was pulled off by four matching choppers that took off at the exact same time. All of the lights fell upon the white marble statue that had been pretty well done even by my standards as the crowd fell into complete silence admiring the enormous three hundred foot statue. It was breath taking especially once you took into account the brilliant blue gems the artist had used for my brother's eyes, the only part that wasn't made of marble. They had almost the same laughing affect as my brother's did, that pierce into you in an enticing manner. My brother was by far the best looking young man in the country but that was to be expected, if there was a single flaw in any one of the members of our family they would be disowned, gotten rid of, or would undergo surgery to correct the imperfection. Neither I nor my brother had under gone any surgery so far but there was always the chance that it would become necessary in the future if we weren't careful.

Another set of lights were switched on and directed at the stage where thick black curtains were draped over the doorway that would lead behind the scenes to where my brother was no doubt waiting. Slowly for affect the curtains moved open to show my brother waving with an honored smile as he walked with perfect grace to the podium that was set up at the foot of his statue. Even when standing right next to the large and impressive structure my brother had all of the eyes resting on him, not a single person glanced up towards the artistic feat when the real one was standing just below in all of his perfection that no artist could capture. His dark black hair had been slicked back to match the statue as he turned his head with a thoughtful expression towards the image as if searching for a single flaw. Pretending to find none he beamed, "Wow it looks just like me." He stated as if in amazement as he turned toward the front two rows where the craftsmen who had built the enormous giant sat smiling appreciative of his compliment. "Never in my life would I have expected to get such an honor, I cannot even begin to express my gratitude to every single one of you who have poured out your time and skills into this perfect piece." I smile a little more as he spoke without faltering once or letting any of his true emotions out, yes he had expected the statue; he had expected it for months before he had been informed it was going to be built I remembered recalling his occasional complaint about how they were being too slow to recognize his greatness.

My brother was by no means humble but here under the eye of the nation he appeared to be making him seem quite favorable. Although I say he is not humble I wouldn’t go as far as to call him prideful because to be prideful you had to think yourself better than you were. He on the other hand really was that good, as was the majority of my family. My mother smiled down nodding her head slightly in approval of my brother’s speech directed at the loving public. In most cases loving would not be the word to describe the masses but in reference to the adoration they felt for my brother and I it was completely fitting. On occasion someone would disapprove of my mother but that was to be expected she was a politician and no person could be a politician and please everyone. Father on the other hand was a mere puppet and by no means the family head. He was also not my father, only a step-father but our real father was never talked about even on the rare occasion that we did talk. For my family the only intelligent conversing was done in silence, anything we wanted to say was short not exactly sweet and to the point. It was nearing the three minute mark of my brother’s speech as he glanced up to where mother and I were sitting and made the expected announcement, “I couldn’t have gotten to where I am today if it wasn’t for my family. I would like to ask my sister Rita Dorpager and my mother Wendy Dorpager to join me up here on the stage.” He beamed for the first time an actual smile, eager to have us join the act as the perfect family. The world looked up to us and as mother said we had to make them think they were right in doing so.

Plastering a loving smile onto my face I looked down at my brother only half faking sisterly love, I did care about my brother, he was after all my older brother but at the same time we were never going to be a close family in anything other than public appearances. Clapping lightly along with the crowd I got up a second after my mother instinctively from so many years of doing the exact same thing on various other occasions, although the person I followed occasionally varied. My long blonde hair fell over my face unexpectantly but I quickly resolved the issue with grace running my right hand through it pushing it back. It was a pleasant feeling anyways, running my fingers through my silky hair that although unbrushed was naturally neat. Stepping down the stairs quickly but not too quickly I trailed after my mother the cloth of my skirt swirling with each step. I could feel the camera’s focus on me grazing over my mother who was by no means in her prime of her life while I was young and flawless in the public’s eye without even politics to dampen my record.

Young reporters and fans attempted to get to me through the police erected barriers but swarms of publically and privately paid bodyguards moved to intercept them maintaining the barrier. We could have always used the electron shock fences that they used in prisons but mother said that would be too cruel and that we should award our followers not punish them. To me the whole idea of people trying to invade my space was plenty of cause for retaliation but I would do as mother suggested. Brother was far crueler than me though on the subject he had once suggested one of the newer made coma inducers that the military was just beginning to use. Now for any other idols or public figures it would be impossible to get their hands on top of the line equipment like that but for my family it was simple, after all my real father had been the owner of the weapon manufacture company that made them, explaining the name Dorpager Inc. Since then my brother had been debating whether or not he should take over for father’s work. If he didn’t I would then be left with the option and I was still a little unsure of how well I would do producing weapons of any quality let alone the top of the line quality my father’s company was famous for so I would no doubt decline the offer it if it was ever presented to me.

Blinding spot lights and flashing cameras made it impossible to see anything but I kept the smile painted carefully on my face as I navigated my way through the already memorized path my feet guiding me where my eyes and ears could not. Soon the steps of the stage were nearing and I could hear the clicking of my mother’s simple black faux leather shoes as she climbed the first step. Following her lead I took the first step, then the second, and continued until the fifth which marked the last step and my arrival upon the stage. First my mother met my brother on stage beaming brightly as if proud of her beloved son as they embraced one another in a hug that suggested a close family relationship as my mother kissed him tenderly on the cheek before releasing him. A larger smile found its way to my brother’s face as he smiled at me before wrapping me up in a hug that we both shared for a few minutes before my mother coughed lightly not before brother whispered something softly in my ear though, “You been busy Rita, make sure to save some attention for me.”

Laughing softly I separated myself from him. What he was referring to was no doubt the clubbing I had been entertaining myself with. Clubbing was definitely not something my mother approved of but what she did approve of did not suit my tastes. Also my nights spent partying could also be counted as research since I was planning on opening up my own joint and I needed to know what would be best to include. Although my mother would never count that as a decent excuse and kept claiming my behavior to be reckless in the extreme, in other words not good for our public image. Even though my mother attempted to claim that I was bringing down our public standing by my nightly activities there was simply no proof of my actions doing anything but raising our family’s position. I always drank mildly knowing where to stop and I did not show any inappropriate affection to strangers which was all that mattered. My friends did, but I did not. In my opinion to act like a “slut” as the crude word named them was below me. No man was permitted to touch my body without my clear permission, meaning never.

Brother continued to speak wrapping an arm around my waist as he did so, “As you all must surly know by now my sister Rita here,” He looked at me with a genuine loving smile before continuing. “Has been in the public’s eye for quite some time planning on opening a line of restaurants and clubs for your enjoyment, “ I glared lightly at him. It was supposed to be my job to announce news like that but I returned it quickly back into a light smile of surprise at his sudden announcement that mother would probably lecture him on later. Out of the corner of my eye I could see my mother faking a smile that covered her increasing irritation at the two of us. Me for even planning on opening them and my brother for announcing it before she had the opportunity to shoot the whole idea down, yes my dear brother was solidifying my plans in front of the whole country on purpose I supposed and released the slight bit of anger I had been holding against him. The masses were cheering in excitement, even the ones who didn’t enjoy clubbing of any sort since as I had planned restaurants would be accompanying them.

The idea of owning my own business had always sounded pleasant to my ears and I wouldn’t settle for my deceased father’s. If I took up my father’s I would have to follow even more strict guidelines and that would not be happening. Yes, even mother couldn’t tell me how to run the buildings I had already begun the process of building. Clearing his throat ever so slightly my brother held up his other hand to silence the crowd. “I seemed to be saying this a lot today…” He began with a small chuckle. “,but again I feel honored, honored to have such an amazing person as my sister and I look forward to a couple of months from now when we will be able to witness the opening of her new businesses.” The whole crowd broke out in sounds of approval as my brother nodded approvingly at me. Yes, my brother did approve of me, well for the most part anyways. The both of us worked together often to weasel in activities mother typically frowned which made the act of a close relationship between the two of us easier than it was with my mother.

I knew that I was expected to speak a bit at this point so I smiled lovingly and gratefully at my brother before stepping forward. All cameras were more than happy to rest upon me or my brother and not a one faced away to capture the amount of people gathered for any viewers at home who couldn’t afford seats. Nodding my head slightly I smiled down at my adoring fans before speaking, “Thank you everyone, and thank you Nicholas.” I spoke addressing my brother who nodded slightly as well his eyes dancing in anticipation of mother’s anger. Yes, my brother was slightly rebellious but he still wouldn’t compromise our image. “I must admit I was rather surprised to hear my brother announce it so soon but I am grateful that he did.” The audience laughed at my honesty making me pause for a second so I had everyone’s attention. “It has always been my dream to form my own company and manage it and so this will be quite the adventure for me.” I spoke knowing my eyes were sparkling with eagerness reflecting not only my ambition but the audiences’ want for my success. Yes, I was beloved by them and that of course would provide my business with a kick start that no other company could even hope to have. “I hope that when I open it you will all enjoy the surprise I have planned.” I finished increasing their interest in my company before letting my brother resume his place as the center of attention.

Author's Note: Should I continue this? Can you inform me of any ways I can improve my work? Any and all feedback would be much appreciated and any given will be returned. Since I am still a newbie on this writing site I am not the best at browsing through published works so at the moment I just read whatever work those who comment on a work of mine has and give them an honest review for it. Also this entire above story is based off of a dream that I wrote down on paper. I am aware that the main character is not the nicest of people so don't kill me for it.


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29 Reviews


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Reviews: 29

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Mon Feb 17, 2014 5:58 pm
ClariceArrais wrote a review...



I really loved Rita. The fact she is not nice is what gives her "humanity". I loved the tension created by the motherly pression, the feeling of superiority over the mass.
I understand why you didn't reveal too much, so you can introduce your new world smoothly, without a lot of information to deal with.

I'd love to see: she may have things under control, but you can explore situations where her "perfection-ness" is useless. You can explore how she reacts and what she's capable of doing to get what she wants. Her lack of limits will give you rich opportunities and twists. What if she regrets something? Would she kill a person with her bare hands or order someone to?

I'm looking foward your new posts. The story really stuck in my mind. ^^




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12 Reviews


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Sun Jul 28, 2013 6:08 pm
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LilMissPanic wrote a review...



I noticed this was your first post, congrats and welcome to the family! ^-^ I'm new too so I'm glad to be able to help some one else who is new too :] I'll be reviewing your story paragraph by paragraph that way its easier to find what I'm talking about, well here we go! :]

"...the only sign of how my patience was withering as I waited nearing the twenty minutes" I feel like the "the" before twenty is a little unneeded. We have no prior knowledge as to how long the character was suppose to be waiting.

"It wasn't too surprising that she was late although she ..." Perhaps add a comma in between late and although? That sentence sounds a bit awkward.

"...the person in the neon car had been reduced to nothing more but a part of the scrap metal ..." maybe add in a "now" so it reads "... had now been reduced to nothing..." I fell like that would read a bit better.

"...to endure such never ending speeches but since I already knew..." Again, I believe there should be a comma before but

"They had almost the same laughing affect as my brother's did..." I could be wrong but I think you used the wrong word there, I think it should be effect. Affect is used meaning a mental state, to pretend or put on, or to produce an effect.

"...my way through the already memorized path my feet guiding me..." That sentence move on a bit to quickly perhaps add a comma in between path and feet for a quick pause.

"...often to weasel in activities mother typically frowned which made the act of a close..." leaving it at just frowned makes it sound a bit awkward, perhaps change it to "Frowned upon"?

Other than those few things I thought your story was great and I would love to read more of it, please do send me a link if you ever do choose to continue it! Happy writing, and again welcome to YWS! :]




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170 Reviews


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Mon Jul 15, 2013 3:49 am
yubbies21 wrote a review...



I loved this story! This is quite an original idea. The main character is genius, good job on giving her a believable personality (nobody like a Mary/Gary Sue). Like ShadowHunter said, I want to know more about this city and its background history. You should definitely continue this story. The fact that this came from a dream is quite interesting: I too write down my more exciting dreams. All in all, I really liked this, but I want more!




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Points: 373
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Sun Jul 07, 2013 12:54 am
ShadowHunter wrote a review...



This story was great! I loved the plot line and it is an interesting idea. The main character is fine in my opinion, perfect people are not fun to read about, so the fact that you made her mean is great. I would love it if you continued this story, but it might be helpful if you give us a bit of background on the city. Reader need to know how this world came about in order to full appreciate it. Other than that, some of the wording didn't flow as well as it could have, but that can be very easily fixed with a quick read aloud. I look forward to more of the story!




CrystalWoolf says...


Thank you for your feedback and I planned on including the parts of the history as I write but not all at once so that the reader isn't feeling as if I am throwing facts at them. I shall read it aloud and try to find the areas where I can improve the wording of things. Again, thank you for taking your time to read my story and comment, it really means a lot to me.




If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck…you should not be so quick to jump to conclusions.
— Cecil Gershwin Palmer