Cover art for Hybrids: Chapter One

Hybrids: Chapter One

by CrimsonTears

Published September 28, 2024

16+ Language Violence

In Hybrids (Revamped)

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

There was a long, bored sigh that echoed into Yagi’s room. “Are you always just going to be a creep? There’s gotta be a reward out there somewhere for being one.” Sako asked as he watched Yagi through the vent. “You can stare at them all you want, but it won’t change anything. It never does.”

“I’m not a creep,” Yagi replied, merely glancing at Sako’s direction. He had been sitting on his bed staring at the mirror since he had woken up that morning. He was trying to think of another plan to get out.

Sako chuckled. “Nah, you kinda are. You’ve been staring at them for what? Five hours?”

“I’m not a creep.” He repeated. “You’re the creep for spying on me.”

“Well, then either you’re a creep or you're in a mood.” He said. Yagi could hear him sit down on his bed and rest his back on the wall. “So, which is it?”

“Neither.” He snapped. “I’m thinking.”

Sako clicked his tongue, “Ah, so it's a mood. Is it because of today?”

Today Doctor came in to check on them. He did every Tuesday. He would simply come to make sure they were taking their vitamins and medications.

“No,” Yagi replied. “It’s not that.”

“Have you eaten breakfast?”

“No. It’s drugged.”

Yagi could practically hear his eyeroll. “Probably because you need to try this thing called sleeping. Did you know sleeping is actually good for you?”

Yagi rolled his eyes.

“Has he seen you yet?” Sako asked to break the awkward silence.

“No.”

“Same over here. I think he’s late. Isn’t that weird? He’s never late. He’s usually a perfectionist about that sort of thing, you know?”

“Yeah. It’s strange.” Yagi replied flatly. If anything, he was more suspicious than curious like his friend. Sakuro was right, Doctor was never late.

A door opened in Sako’s room followed by another long sigh from his friend. “Well speak of the devil.” Sako suddenly said, not too enthusiastically.

“Sakuro, apologies for being late.” Doctor‘s voice told him, “Have you taken your morning medication?”

He hesitated, “Uh, for the sake of your sanity, my answer is yes.”

“Sakuro! I told you; you have to take it!”

“But it’s so gross! Plus, it makes me really tired too.” Sako protested.

“Well it’s either that or a shot. Which one do you prefer.”

“Pill. But I still hate being so tired.”

“I’ll give you a lighter dosage but, Sakuro, you must take it. Every day. No matter how gross it may taste or how tired it makes you.”

Yagi could practically hear Sako’s scowl. He laughed and then realized he shouldn’t have. They slid a thing over the vent making it impossible to hear Sako. He scowled as he looked at the mirror, “Since when is it a crime to laugh, jerks?”

Of course, no one answered. No one ever did.

Thirty minutes later Doctor came in with the Nurse right behind him. Yagi growled at him, “What? Did Sako rat on me?”

Doctor sent him his usual warm smile that met his tired blue eyes. He disregarded Yagi’s question and got right to business. “How are you feeling? I heard that you haven’t been eating, sleeping, or drinking much.”

“I feel fine. I’m not thirsty or hungry and I’m not tired.” He answered. He looked at Nurse with a watchful eye to make sure she wouldn’t try to sneak drugs into him.

Nurse caught his gaze and smiled as she gently took his arm to see his blood pressure and then stopped. She ran a finger on the inside of his elbow and frowned. “Doctor, look how dehydrated he is. You can’t see his veins.”

Yagi glared at her and pulled his arm away from her grasp. “I’m not dehydrated. I’m not thirsty either.” Yagi told her. He looked at Doctor’s blue eyes. “I’m not.”

Doctor came over to look anyway, gently taking his arm and examining it. “Yagi,” He started in a scolding voice, “you can’t tell me you’re not thirsty if you look like this. When was the last time you had water or anything to drink?”

Maybe two days ago. It’s when he figured out his food and water was drugged. He had taken one sip and then later felt incredibly tired. He actually was thirsty. He would die for a drink. The small increments he allowed himself throughout the day was torture. “Looks can be deceiving.” He simply told Doctor with a shrug. His light blue eyes darted over to Nurse.

“So can words.” She countered.

Yagi rolled his eyes as Doctor went on to say, “I want you to drink a glass of water.” He turned to Nurse, “Go get him some please.”

“I’m not thirsty.”

Doctor gave him a look, “I’ll force it down your throat if need be.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I’ll bite you first.” He warned.

Doctor put his clipboard down and sat on the bed next to Yagi. His blue concerned eyes met Yagi’s. He asked in a low tone, “What’s wrong? You can trust me, you know that. Come on, talk to me.”

Yagi hesitated. Doctor was right. He wasn’t like the one before him that was cruel and hurt them. Doctor was more patient and kinder and liked a conversation. But Yagi didn’t trust him fully just yet. Sure, it had been four years now, but what if this was just an act? He thought for a moment more. If he didn’t say anything Doctor would know something was up but if he did say something maybe he could dimmish Doctor’s concern. Yagi shook his head. “I don’t want anything and there’s nothing to talk about.”

“Are you worried someone will try to drug you?” Doctor pressed.

He shook his head. A lie. He knew from past experience that drugging them was their idea of a solution if the person was being defiant and refusing the treatment.

Doctor thought for a moment. “Are you scared to sleep?”

“No.” Another lie. Whenever he slept it wasn’t peaceful. Horrible nightmare tormented him every night without remorse.

He sighed. “Yagi, there is something wrong. You need to tell me what it is. You don’t want to end up so bad that I have to move you somewhere else so I can keep a close eye on you.”

Nurse walked in with a tall glass of water and handed it to Doctor before leaving to retrieve more water in a pitcher. He held the glass out to Yagi, “At least drink half and I’ll leave you be.”

He shook his head, pushing the glass away, “No.”

Why?” He took a sip, “Look, even I drank from it. It’s not poisoned or drugged, see?”

Yagi scowled in disgust. “No, but now it’s contaminated.”

Doctor glared at him, “Drink or I’ll force you to.”

Yagi look directly into the threatening eyes and stood his ground. “No.”

“Give me a real answer then. Give me one good reason why you should drink anything,” He said sternly, putting the glass down on a table next to the bed.

Yagi flinched back. Doctor never had that tone with him. He looked Doctor in the eye, searching if this was fake but it was real. Doctor would really force him to drink if there wasn’t a good reason.

Admitting defeat, Yagi scoffed and looked away, “Fine. Yeah, you’re right. I think they are trying to drug me, and I don’t want to sleep.”

Doctor immediately looked concerned again and Yagi hated it. “Why don’t you want to sleep? Aren’t you tired?”

He nodded and frowned. He looked down at the bed and messed with a loose thread on his blanket, “Yeah, but I know they’ll keep me under and lock me to the bed once I pass out after drinking the water.”

Doctor put a comforting hand on Yagi’s shoulder and tried to get him to look at his eyes. “Because it’s for the best. How about I make a deal with you?”

Yagi glanced up at him and back to the blanket, his interest intrigued. He shrugged, “Depends on your proposal.”

“How about I give you something to drink of your choice, it’ll be drugged. But you’ll only be asleep for five hours. After that for dinner, I’ll let you choose what you want to eat, drug-free.”

Yagi frowned, “You’ll still lock me down.”

“We’ll release you. I will personally release you.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Yagi, we only lock you down because you’re under such heavy sedatives that we don’t want you to hurt yourself if you aren’t fully aware and try to walk around. But we don’t ever like doing this against your will. This is why if you agree, it will be much easier for everything moving forward. Do you understand that? I promise, Yagi, I will release you.”

Yagi nodded and drank the not drugged water and then another full cup of water was drugged. After the first cup he felt still so thirsty, and the second drink met the thirst.

When he woke up, he was restrained to the bed. But to his word, Doctor came and let him go. For dinner, Yagi asked for some potatoes, chicken, and peas. Doctor kept his word there too. As Yagi ate dinner he thought about Doctor.

Maybe he could trust Doctor.

They stood outside a building, the facility, Yagi guessed. Freedom was the only word that echoed in the screaming air around them. But it felt as if someone was missing. Someone was lost in the facility as smoke began to pour out of the windows. Someone was unable to meet them on the other side. At the door there were bullet casings and trail blood that met his feet. Someone was screaming outside to him to get out. Run, they screamed. But Yagi stood waiting. He couldn’t move, he felt it was his due diligence to wait for the person. No one was allowed to be left behind. Suddenly flashlights and lasers pointed at his face and terror flooded his body. Chains shot out from the facility and wrapped around his limbs. Freedom calling out his name in the calming wind. “Get out! Run!” A woman yelled from inside. But it was too late. Yagi was captured.

Yagi woke up the next morning still very tired from the remnants of the sedatives. When the lights turned on, he pulled the sheets over his head and tried to go back to sleep hoping the dream wouldn’t continue as well as the piercing headache that taunted him. As he tried to go back to sleep, he could hear Sakuro working out. He was always the first to wake up. At first, he tried to ignore Sakuro and act like he never woke up, but a groan of pain from the headache escaped his lips.

“Yagi, are you awake?” Sakuro asked as he did his routine of pushups.

Yagi frowned and tried to ignore him, but Sakuro started to call his name.

Yagi groaned in annoyance and pulled his pillow over his head. “Knock it off, Sako. I’m tired.”

Sakuro paused his workout. “Why? Because of those drugs?” He asked.

Yagi nodded, “Yeah. It gave me an awful headache too.”

Sakuro coughed for a moment and cleared his throat before asking another question, “Are you gonna go back to sleep or stay awake for a bit?”

“Sleep, but I can’t sleep if you keep talking.”

“Oh sorry.” Sakuro mumbled. His feelings obviously hurt.

Yagi figured his friend would forget about it as soon as he resumed his work out and with that he dozed off for another hour, remnants of the dream still flashing in his mind. Around breakfast, one of the staff members woke him up. Yagi waited for them to leave before sitting up. He put a heavy hand to his head as he felt the room spin and nausea flooded over him. He sat there for a moment as he waited for it to stop. When it did, he made his way to the table to eat his breakfast consisting of eggs, toast, and bacon thinking maybe some substance would ease the nausea. Yagi slumped into the chair and rested his head into his palm as he ate. His eyes became heavy, so he ate with his eyes closed.

“Damn drugs.” He muttered before taking a bite. He threw the fork into his plate and rubbed his eyes. But he found no relief from the drowsiness.

He took a drink of cold water to try to wake up, but he was still so tired. He gave up with a sigh and pushed the plate of food away and folded his arms on top of the table with his head resting on them. He needed a little more rest and was too tired to walk to his bed.

Someone shook his arm and when he opened his eyes it was Doctor. Yagi scowled and turned his head the other way. “Go away.”

“Still tired?”

He nodded and Doctor gently pulled him to feet, Yagi was too tired to fight him. Standing behind Yagi, Doctor put his hands on his arms to guide Yagi back to the bed. “I still need to give you a shot so I’m going to have you sit on your bed. That way you can fall asleep after.”

Yagi frowned as he shuffled over to the bed, eyes still closed. “No more drugs. I’m too tired to take anymore.”

“No, it’s just medicine. Sakuro just had his. As you can imagine it was a whole ordeal with him since he hates needles.”

Yagi sat on the bed and kept his eyes closed in exhaustion as Doctor prepped his arm for the needle. As soon as the shot was done Yagi fell onto his back trying to go back to sleep.

Doctor chuckled and tossed a light blanket over Yagi. “You’ll feel much better tomorrow. Rest a bit. You’ll feel better soon.”

Yagi put an arm over his eyes to block out the light in the room. “Can you give me something for the nausea?”

He could hear Doctor’s steps fading towards the door. “No not after this shot. But sleep will help.” With that he left, leaving Yagi alone to sleep for a little while.

“Sakuro, I swear if you keep waking me up with your coughing I’m going to lose my mind.” Yagi growled as he was stirred awake a couple hours later.

Sakuro cleared his throat. “Sorry. I must be catching a cold.”

Yagi scowled. “Keep your germs to yourself. A cold is the last thing I need. Especially with this damn headache.”

He coughed again before scoffing and replying “Rude.”

Yagi only shrugged and then tried to go back to sleep. Throughout the night he would be startled awake by coughing but Sako would assure him it was only a cold, and everything was fine. Every time Yagi would go back to sleep.

This happened off and on throughout the next morning as well. When Yagi woke up the next morning, he no longer felt drowsy, nauseous, or had the headache. But he was hungry and scarfed down his breakfast as Sakuro told him how bored he was when Yagi slept all day, only to be interrupted with periodical coughing fits.

“Are you sure it’s just a cold, Sako?” Yagi asked after he swallowed his last bite of food. “The coughing sounds like it’s getting worse.”

Sakuro continued to cough and it worried Yagi that he wouldn’t be able to catch his breath if it continued to worsen. After another moment and catching his breath Sakuro replied, “Yeah, I’m sure. I feel awful too. It must be a cold. Doctor gave me some medicine today, but I don’t think it did much.”

Yagi smirked, “Leave it to you to have a mystery illness or be the first to catch a cold.”

“It’s just a cold.” Sakuro assured.

The two chatted for the rest of the day but their conversations would continue to be interrupted by fits of couching from Sakuro. The more he coughed the more Yagi grew worried. The coughing fits were longer and more violent causing Sakuro’s voice to be hoarse by the end of the night.

Finally, after begging Doctor for something to help with his coughing, Doctor gave him some medicine to help him sleep hoping when he woke up in the morning, he would feel better. At first it seemed like the medicine seemed to do something.

But Sakuro still continued to cough.

*****

Groaning woke him up that night. Yagi tried to go to sleep thinking it was in his head, but it didn’t stop. Yagi sat up and listened making sure it wasn’t his imagination that had woken him up from his sleep. The groaning continued and sounded more desperate as they went on. Yagi got out of bed trying to figure out where it was coming from. Yagi froze when he realized.

Startled, Yagi stood up on his bed and called Sako’s name, straining his ears to pick up any sort of reply from his friend.

“Sako? Sako, are you okay?” As he tiptoed on the bed trying to see his friend.

All Yagi could see was Sako pull his legs in closer as he groaned again. “No…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I missed my…” He groaned again, “my medicine. I spit out the pill Doctor gave me.”

Yagi tried further to gain height so he could see his friend more clearly. “Are you sure that’s it? You’ve never done this before in the past.” Yagi asked. “This isn’t normal, Sako!”

The groaning intensified. “Has to be.”

“Where does it hurt?”

He groaned again, “Everywhere. It hurts everywhere. I feel like every bone in my body is gonna break and its hard to breathe.”

“Do you want me to call someone?”

He groaned loudly and let out a sob. Yagi felt panic in his chest, “Sakuro, are you crying?”

He never cried anymore. Not since he met Yagi all those years ago.

“No…I’m just coughing.” Another cry escaped his lips, displaying his lie.

The panic rose even more. “Sako, that’s a lie! I can hear you!”

“Then why did…you ask, you damn idiot?!” Sako yelled through choked cries, “Yagi please get help. I can’t take this anymore.

Yagi nodded at the command and jumped off his bed and began to bang his fist against the two-way mirror “I know there are people there! You have to help Sakuro! He needs help!”

He went back to the vent when he saw a light flick on under his door signaling that people were coming down the hallway. “They’re coming, Sako. Just hang in there, okay? You’re going to be fine!”

It seemed like forever for them to unlock his friend’s door. But when three men rushed in, they all paused mid-step in surprise. “What the hell….?” One man breathed.

“Some get the doctor in here!” Another yelled. He pushed through the two stunned men and ran over to Sakuro’s side. “What is that black stuff?”

“Sakuro! What happened?!” The third asked, stepping closer,

They flicked on his light and that’s when Yagi saw it. The light revealed that at the end of Sako’s cot there was a small splatter of red. Yagi saw them make him sit up on the end and he had blood all over him. He cried in his pain as they helped move him to a sitting position. He wrapped his arms around himself and went rigid. “No stop! Please, it hurts!” He begged through gritted teeth, blood dripping from his mouth and onto their arms.

Sakuro found it impossible to sit up. The third man who was the first to come to his aid held Sakuro up with an arm. “It’s gonna be alright. Just sit up, okay. We can’t have you choking on your blood.”

“Sakuro! It’s okay!” Yagi shouted out over his pleas.

Doctor rushed in and like the others stood in shock as he took in the event.

The first man went to Doctor’s side. “What is this? Liver failure? He needs a specialist. This isn’t right!”

Sakuro began to cough more and blood flicked onto the men’s clothes as blood hit the tile ground. Sako stood up to rush to the bathroom, pushing all the men the men’s arms away, but fell to the ground on his hands and knees and threw up. There was more blood and some kind of black substance than anything else.

Doctor rushed to his side and tried to get Sakuro to sit up again but Sakuro shook his head.

He stayed there for a second, breathing hard and coughing with one hand gripping his chest. “Please. Help me.” He begged, tears streaming down his cheeks. The men moved quickly to snap some kind of long metal cuff to Sako's free wrist. Sako tried to get up to keep going to the bathroom, but he fell to his side in pain.

Sako breathed hard and slowly fell unconscious. Yagi stood in shock when he saw the black substance trickle out of Sako’s mouth and form a small pool below him.

Everything went silent and Yagi’s heart dropped to the floor. Sako looked like he was dead.

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
Tikaya
Review
Tikaya wrote a review Review · Feb 21

It’s been a while but I had this chapter on the dice list for a while and it finally got chosen again ^^

Hmm my criticism from the prologue still stands: Why do these isolated characters talk like they know about pop culture?
Why are their keepers telling the kids what day it is? It makes me really wonder for what purpose these kids are kept there and how they manage not to go insane/anti-social ^^

I really appreciate that you show how the doctor talks to them. It gives a bit more context in why they talk the way they do!

Hmmm what are his nightmares about? It would give even more context to their situation 😊

I think Yagi has the right idea not to trust the doctor but the reasons for why are all over the place. The doctor really is complicit in keeping him here and no matter how kind, he still participates in the system @.@

Ohh was that one of his nightmares?? I like this vague feeling of leaving someone behind. Given that we had such a focus on the doctor, I kinda thought this might be abt him. That he’s arranged an escape for Yagi but couldn’t make it himself and so Yagi was waiting on him… But then the woman screamed and now I am no longer so sure how to interpret the dream =D

Wait wait wait there are not monitoring the captured, sick child for worsening symptoms??? If you must keep them contained, at least look out for their health qq

Oh my what an end to a rather …hm peaceful chapter, I would say. I still have so many questions about why the kids are kept there at all and why, if they are important enough to experiment on, they are not constantly monitoring them… but ho boy, am I worried about Sako @.@

creeperfeverdreams wrote a review Review · Sep 30, 2024

Hello there, Sky! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the ghastly S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - Yagi understandably doesn’t want to take drugs, but the doctors make him. Sako starts to cough, but he’s also coughing up black liquid. Things are not looking very good…

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - There is a part where coughing is accidentally spelled as “couching” but that is just one little thing.

Chocolate Bar - Yagi’s fear when Sako starts to cough…I love how it’s described! Nobody has ever seen anything like it before and the fact that there is black goo coming out of Sako…I don’t think that he is dead, but I’m sure that whatever pain Sako is going through will be much more terrifying than death. Yagi may not exactly trust the doctors, but this does show that he’ll do anything to help his friend.

Closing Graham Cracker - There’s something odd happening to Sako. He’s coughing up black bits and he may as well become something that he does not recognize. Yagi will be there for him, but what will the doctors do?

I wish you a delightful day/night! ^v^

User avatar
AkiraEliza
Review
AkiraEliza wrote a review Review · Sep 30, 2024

I'm just going to be honestly and say that I don't even feel like reviewing this. I just want to sit down, get comfy, read it. that's how good it is. but I slacked yesterday and wasn't able to review.
Im going to review as I go like last time!
I hate long chapters (hence me only reviewing poems), so I'm glad this ain't too long. if anything, it seems like it's the same length as my own book.
I forgot for a second that Sako was separated and could see Yagi from the vent.
hell, I wouldn't trust that doctor either. talk about a power trip. I hate them already. and the nurse needs to back off. what's her problem? and I like Yagi already. he's got a temper.
why are they locking him up? i'm kinda grumpy now. I hate rules, and the facility has a lot of them. what is this, a mental asylum? I don't like the doctor. nice my fluffy behind. they need to back off. why do they HAVE to drug Yagi anyways? why lock him up? and why sedate him at all? that's got my mind running. wonderful.
how could you get a cold despite being controlled so tightly? I wouldn't be surprised if they laced the room with hallucination gas at this point.
damn, you ain't afraid of killing off characters. I hope the guy lives. or maybe he wont and yagi will snap. maybe this is how he gets out of the hellhole. who knows.
sorry if this wasn't much of a review. have a good day!

User avatar
Alwaysea
Review
Alwaysea wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2024

Hi...it's me again a quick review from my POV

In the quiet of the facility, Yagi and Sako found comfort in each other’s company. Their beds were close enough that they could see each other if they stood up. Despite the cold walls surrounding them, they created a little world together. Sako seemed hopeful, following everything the doctors said. He even told Yagi he hadn’t eaten in two days, but his spirit remained strong. Yagi, on the other hand, was more troubled. He didn’t trust the food or water they were given and felt something was off, especially since they were sleeping so much.

Yagi had learned to be cautious around everyone except Sako, who still believed in the doctors. The new doctor, while appearing nice, made Yagi uneasy. Unlike the last doctor, who had been harsh, this one acted friendly but seemed to have his own plans. Yagi couldn't help but wonder if they were really in a mental hospital. They both felt normal, yet something felt wrong. He felt trapped and wanted to escape, but fear gripped him.

As Yagi slept, he dreamed of breaking free. In his dreams, he always trying to found Sako by his side. Their friendship had grown strong over the years, and the thought of losing Sako frightened him. He worried about Sako, especially since he was scared of needles and seemed to take the pills without question. Yagi sensed that Sako was being controlled, and he couldn’t shake the fear that something terrible could happen to him.

In a moment of panic, Yagi hurt himself to draw attention away from Sako. He watched as the staff rushed to help his friend, praying that Sako would be okay. Please don't let him die...

Rushing to another chapter

Hello hello! I'm so glad to see you again! Thank you so much for reading more of Hybrids! I hope you are enjoying the book!

-Sky

Heyy..sky congrats for the review day %u263A %uD83D%uDC4F

User avatar
ToastK
Review
ToastK wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2024

Hi sky! oh wow, what a start... This was a very enjoyable read and I really liked the friendship-building you did between our characters Yagi and Sako! Anyways, I digress, let's get into the review.

First impressions
I appreciated the opening of this story, slowly building up the plot through the POV of our boy Yagi and his deeply distrusting perspective of the place he's stuck in. I also really enjoyed how Doctor wasn't just an evil guy and he seems to care for these kids. Although I'm still suspicious of him like Yagi seems to be, you did a great job portraying a seemingly caring guy.


For the story
ooh, I really enjoyed the friendship(?) that was portrayed in this first chapter. Even though they have seemingly very different personalities, and they seem to be fighting, I like how they always ultimately really care for one another. Also, like I asked in the previous review, 'Why are these guys locked up in this lab-like facility?' This chapter only made my questions grow deeper and now I need to keep on reading to find out.

Also, how could you end it there?! I swear, I'm gonna cook a steak well-done if Sako dies here (he probably won't... hopefully)

“Yagi, are you awake?” Sakuro asked as he did his routine of pushups.

Yagi frowned and tried to ignore him, but Sakuro started to call his name.

Yagi groaned in annoyance and pulled his pillow over his head. “Knock it off, Sako. I’m tired.”

Sakuro paused his workout. “Why? Because of those drugs?” He asked.

Yagi nodded, “Yeah. It gave me an awful headache too.”

Sakuro coughed for a moment and cleared his throat before asking another question, “Are you gonna go back to sleep or stay awake for a bit?”

“Sleep, but I can’t sleep if you keep talking.”

“Oh sorry.” Sakuro mumbled. His feelings obviously hurt.

like I said, lines like these contrasting
The panic rose even more. “Sako, that’s a lie! I can hear you!”

“Then why did…you ask, you damn idiot?!” Sako yelled through choked cries, “Yagi please get help. I can’t take this anymore.

Yagi nodded at the command and jumped off his bed and began to bang his fist against the two-way mirror “I know there are people there! You have to help Sakuro! He needs help!”

He went back to the vent when he saw a light flick on under his door signaling that people were coming down the hallway. “They’re coming, Sako. Just hang in there, okay? You’re going to be fine!”

lines like these really reinforce their back and forth relationship. You can tell that they are bored and stuck in this room with nothing but each other.

If there is one critique though, I'd say there's a lack of commas.
As you can imagine, it was a whole ordeal with him since he hates needles.”

He went back to the vent when he saw a light flick on under his door, signaling that people were coming down the hallway.

I'm only providing two examples, but I spotted I think around 5 or 6 sentences where a comma breaking it up would've made the flow a lot clearer. Still very entertaining and clear writing though.


All in all
great story, 10/10, would recommend to people in asylums. It was a bit long, but surprisingly a fast read (maybe because I was too engulfed in this world lol) and I'll be reading more.

a totally unrelated fun fact for the day: did you know that surgeons wear a green gown because otherwise the red they see from operating all they would strain their eyes? green is in the opposite side of the color spectrum from red, so it sorta counteracts the bright disturbing red the surgeons constantly have to stare at.

Hello hello! Back for another chapter I see! I'm so glad you are enjoying my book!

I'm so glad to see this story is cuasing a deeper curiosity! Stick around and I promise all your questions will be answered!
If of course there are any other looming question, feel free to ask me! Who knows, maybe you thought of a question I hadn't considered yet and it'll end up in my book!
I try to focus on making their friendship also like a brotherhood in a sense. And what's a better way to make one seem like siblings that a little bickering here and there lol!

I cannot tell you how many time I am told my commas are lacking but I'm working on getting better at it! Thank you so much for pointing those out! I'll be sure to go back and fix the errors!

And yeah....my chapters are a little long...but they are worth it I promise!

I also did not know that fact! That is very interesting!!

Thank you so much for spending your time to read the first chapter of Hybrids! I very much appreciate your review and your thoughts and comments!

-Sky



The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch somebody else doing it wrong, without comment.
— T. H. White