Hello!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
I liked the concept behind this story, but it ended up confusing me a lot. I did not really understand what you were trying to present here and I want to echo another reviewer's thoughts and I agree that this piece would have worked better in the form of a poem. The vagueness would really compliment the structure of a poem and it definitely does not have enough content to review this as a short story. We can try looking for plot when there isn't one and it ends up confusing the readers.
That said, I really liked your writing style. You have a way with your words that inevitably ends up arresting your readers and even though I did not completely understand the story, I thought this was a lovely piece of writing.
The emotion of the moment, the Women so intensely longing for his embrace.
This sentence does not make much sense to me. The first part and the second part of the sentence do not hold together very well and it feels like they need to be in separate sentences of their own in order to make sense. Also, it will be 'Woman' in place of 'Women'. We are talking about one woman here and even though I am not very sure what she is supposed to represent, I liked that much focus was not drawn towards the identity of these two protagonists.
The Man stomping carelessly, feeling no passion, looking harsh.
This is not a complete sentence. You should avoid putting so many words ending in -ing so close together. The sentence will work better if you change it to: "The Man stomped carelessly, feeling no passion, looking harsh." It sounds more definitive now and more complete.
She smiles, unawares of the feelings awaiting her.
It will be 'unaware' not 'unawares'. I think if you check for typos, you will get rid of these small errors in your writing.
She embraces the cold harsh shadow of the man who once she called her lover.
This last line was really great and it evokes sympathy in the readers despite the fact that we know nothing about these two character or the relationship with each other. Still, somehow the naivity of the woman was illustrated very well and I wondered what has led them Man down this road of nonchalance cruelty.
I think if you want this to work as a story, you need to expand on it and provide more content and plot so that it can actually present a story. Because right now, it has none of the elements of a story. Even the sentences are not always complete and they have a poetic tone that would usually work well in a prose. However, I still believe that the story you are trying to present will translate well through a poem.
Keep writing and have a great day!
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