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Frozen in Time

by CreativeUsername


Today, March 21st, the world stopped.

The buzz that had existed around me all my life became silent. There were no more cars bumping down the roads. There were no more chattering of people walking down the streets. The clock had halted on 9:31 AM and it hadn’t moved since.

Everything was stuck in the present moment…

Here I sat, on the grass alone. I don’t know what day it’s supposed to be anymore, all I know is what was and what is now, and what is now is but a moment. A moment frozen in time.

My eyes were once blue, but now they’re a faded grey.... My hair once was a vibrant blonde but now all that’s left is ashy remains of what was before. It reminds me of memories before the world stopped, before the hum that strung us and the earth together had paused.

I stood up. My limbs were creaky and they quivered in sharp pain with every movement, but I barely felt it anymore. It was only a numb stab now, poking at me like an annoying younger sibling.

I look up at the black sky. The sun should have been risen and the sky should have been blue, but all I could see was a void of emptiness tearing through the world like a rift separating me from reality.

Nothing quite made sense anymore. My memories were jumbled and I could barely remember my name… Danica. No, no, Daisy. It started with a D, I’m sure of it; I thought I was sure of it. Didn’t I know my name just yesterday? Yesterday didn’t happen, neither did tomorrow, for when the world stopped, there was only today. Today is all I know. Today. That’s funny, it feels like just yesterday the world was alive and well.

I was defeated. It felt like I was at war with the world and I had lost but I wasn't allowed to submit. Instead, I was forced to relive this burden for infinity.

I’ve tried to kill myself so many times but it never works. A sense of sadness burns in my chest as my eyes begin to bleed tears. I tried I tried I tried

It’s never enough.

I have no choice at life. I have no choice at anything, because today, on March 21st,

The world stopped.


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Thu Sep 10, 2020 5:53 am
buggy_27 wrote a review...



This story gave me chills a couple of times. It doesn't help that this is the first story I am seeing here, but this story could be tagged under horror if you wanted. You are so descriptive, and the attention to detail is fantastic. I clicked into this story thinking it would be somebody describing a picture or something, but this is so much better than that.

Keep it up. I'll be looking at some of your other works in the near future.

-Buggy_27






Thank you and welcome to yws



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26 Reviews


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Wed Sep 09, 2020 2:34 am
spunkyspacekitty wrote a review...



How ya doing CreativeUsername!

This story definatly captured me. It is very creative, and I LOVE the imagery. Usually, I have something to critique about short stories, but this one is really so amazing, I can't find anything wrong with it. I hope to read some of your works in the future

spunkyspacekitty

(P.S. your username is SO creative!)






Hfufydhdh THANKS





lol



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Mon Sep 07, 2020 11:10 pm
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Walker85 says...



I like this a lot. It’s very powerful and moving.




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Mon Sep 07, 2020 3:20 pm
Ruthie says...



I loved this. But it was also pretty sad. It's like she's frozen there forever, with no one else. Keep up the great work. I would be interested if there was a second part where it explains how things were like on the first day, and how she got to this state of mind. Keep it up!!






Thank youu



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Mon Sep 07, 2020 12:14 pm
RadDog13579 wrote a review...



Hi, Creative Username! I'll be reviewing your work today. This is a very interesting and entertaining short story that I really enjoyed reading. I just have a few minor edits that would make it better.

"The buzz that had existed around me all my life became silent. There were no more cars bumping down the roads. There were no more chattering of people walking down the streets. The clock had halted on 9:31 AM and it hadn’t moved since."

The first sentence is kind of weird. Try reading it out loud and then editing it to make it better and flow more.

"Everything was stuck in the present moment…

Here I sat, on the grass alone. I don’t know what day it’s supposed to be anymore, all I know is what was and what is now, and what is now is but a moment. A moment frozen in time."


This is a really good base. I would try to expand on some details. Like What does the surrounding look like. Overall I really enjoyed this story. There were a few grammatical errors but nothing major. I can't wait to see you around the site more! Happy writing!






Thank you



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Mon Sep 07, 2020 7:27 am
MoonIris wrote a review...



Hi CreativeUsername,
I'm here with a review. I think your short story is written very poetically and the center of attention is the feelings of the main character. I liked how you wrote it as a journal.
Now, for what you could improve. I have a phew suggestions for you.
First of all, I would've enjoyed more description. We have a little description of the character and the dark sky but how is everything else around her? How are other people facing this stop in time?
As for grammar, I found some little mistakes.
"The clock had halted on 9:31 AM and it hadn’t moved since."
I believe here it should be at 9:31.
"My eyes were once blue, but now they’re a faded grey.... "
There should be three full-stops and not four.
I would also like to know if you chose the date of March 21st because is the date that quarantine started. Did you write this from personal experience? I hope not but if yes I wish you are better now.
Overall, I believe you have an amazing short story with one ore two suggestions.
I hope my review helped you and didn't offend you in any way,
MoonIris.






Thank you and wow I didnt know thats when quarantine started



MoonIris says...


To be fair I'm not sure as it started at different times in every country.




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