Published December 22, 2005
Where’s Mummy?
Jessica tried once again to dial the number she had scribbled on the back of her hand, Her long purple nails attacking the telephone pad as she furiously repeated each digit under her breath. She started chewing on her bottom lip, waiting as the call connected.
But once again her head was filled with the shrilling sound of an answer phone turning on and the harmonizing tones of the blues brothers cracked over the phone. Jessica felt a smile crawl across her face as she drifted away on the sweet melodies.
“Jessica, honey is that you?” Jessica rolled her eyes and quickly slammed the phone back into its cradle, pushing the phone book under the sofa with her feet and sighing inwardly. For once she wished her Father would sleep through one of her late night crusades.
“Sorry, I’m going to bed now” She called back, forcing a yawn loud enough for her Father to hear as she stretched out across the sofa. There was no way she was sleeping tonight; she never slept after hearing that sound, the hollow unwelcoming sound of an answering machine.
“You tried to call her again didn’t you?” Her father asked again, this time standing in the doorway. Jessica looked up at him and forced a smile, if there was one thing she wished for more than her Father waking during her late night crusades it was that he wouldn’t know what her crusades were about.
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141,425 Literary Works • 674,405 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm...well it seems this is one that's quite close to what that title implies there. Its almost refreshing direct and takes us readers a tiny bit off guard, which makes things interesting here, but also on top of that there is also naturally the tone here that suggests things aren't going so well. It certainly makes you curious as to why this person could be doing this.
Oooh well it seems like for some reason this person's mother is not able to reached at the moment. Well that certainly adds an extra layer of complication to things which makes for quite the mysterious moment here. The introduction of the father situation into the picture and some clear frustration as a result of it also makes for an interesting detail there in terms of what it might hint at.
Okayy...that ending is quite the moment there I have to say. On one hand we get a sense of dread there in terms of what might be happening with the mother and what we could get from that, but also from the father's reaction there's a odd mix of potential comfort but also judging by the person's reaction to the father's words a sinister sort of note. Overall, a very intriguing piece this one.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
I'm trying to write more but my friends keep starting conversations with me about Christmas and i keep getting distracted! Jessica's Mum run off when Jessica was v. little and shes been living with her dad since, her mum thought she was 2 young 2 have children but it will come up more later and just to let you know daddys just trying to look out for her...calling different countrys in the middle of the night isnt healty!
Hmm... Father's a little bit of a thwack isn't he? We'll take care of that *kills father*.
Anyway, you should tell why her parent's are split up or something... Why her father dislikes the idea of her calling. Or is he sympathetic towards her?
if I reapeated anything already said, I'm sorry... I didn't read the comments.
Just have to say, it was good, but expansion will work *YAWNS*
lol thanks Sam - what i was trying to say was that if she couldnt have her father sleep thought her crusades she would settle for him not knowing what she was up to! and later on the plot thickens with the whole tracking down her Mother thing...just to let you know
"For once she wished her Father would sleep through one of her late night crusades. "
And then two paragraphs later...
"if there was one thing she wished for more than her Father waking during her late night crusades "
You sort of contradict yourself and it's pretty confusing. I really liked this though, since you can kinda-sorta figure it out by the title and the Crusades, but you're not quite sure. It makes you think (it hurts, but yeah, it's a good thing!).
lol i dear! i did too, oppps. Lol like i said it was late at night when i wrote this...right ive changed it now..what do you think?
Please right more! I'm really interested to hear the whole story. This is like a preview- it lets you know that its going to be good, but doesn't really give away anything.
Also, the h in her shouldn't capitalized, but thats probably just a typo. 
Jessica tried once again to dial the number she had scribbled on the back of her hand, Her long purple nails attacking the number pad as she furiously repeated the number under her breath.
You say number three times here.
There will be more, this is just beginning fluff, after a old school romance conversation with Duskglimmer i'm going to try and direct it in that general directon with Jessica's search for her mother as a sort of side track but the main reason i posted this so soon was because i wrote it late last night and the computer was refusing to safe it for some reasons so i threw it up here so i could work on it later
Oooh, I liked this. It was very well written--you have a knack for descriptions.
My one question is, is this all there is to it? If so, you need to tack on information in order for this to make a bit more sense. If not, where's the rest of it?