Chapter Three - Red Eyes

by Cow

Published July 22, 2020

16+ Language Violence Mature Content

In Flower and Gems

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

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This is a fan-fiction based off of the game Skyrim. Chapters will vary in size, so you are warned! Thank you for reading and enjoy!

(Keep in mind I am editing these old chapters and may forget some parts so if there are plot holes do tell me! Most likely I meant to fix them and never did when I was first writing this... monstrosity.)

Chapter Three - Terry

Damp. It was very damp. I am not bothered by it though. It could do without the moss and skeletons. I don't like skeletons. And there seemed to be traps everywhere and I mean everywhere. From tripwires to spiked doors, it was endless. I wondered if anyone else had gone through here, if they had, I hope they made it out. 

My armor made it slightly difficult to move about but easy to strike down the walking skeletons with glowing eyes. I hoped that there weren't many of them. These ruins seemed ancient, but I guess that was obvious. I wondered what they were suited for - if anything besides burial rituals. Dead littered the place for sure but it had to have some more of a meaning, right?

There were bandits here at the start, as I made my way up the mountain and through the snow. They were all that hard to deal with, quiet frankly. Bandits never really were, since they never seemed to hone their skills.

I strafed to the left and attacked from behind, I beheaded a creature. They fought with little thought as to whom they were fighting. Protectors, perhaps? Maybe that's why few of them are awake. 

I sheathed my swords, approaching a room filled with webs. Enough to make explorers run away. But this was cut and recently. I could only see a man trapped in webs on the other side of the room while the spider ran around in circles.

Who was it looking for? The whizz of an arrow passed my ear, the thunk of it hitting the spider making it rear onto its hind legs and face me. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the thoughts away. 

Well, the memories. Bandits. They attacked me and my mother when we were traveling. An archer was what ended my mother's life as she was trying to protect me. She wouldn't have last long with broken ribs anyways...

You know, I did not sign up for this, nor was it the plan. I wanted treasure, not memories. And who shot the arrow? I looked around frantically, worried they would attack me with my sword drawn. Instead, I was greeted with two red eyes and a small, almost unnoticeable smile. Well, I'll be. Lyranlica. The Argonian that liked flowers was here!

The spider chittered, hissing at the two of us and I whipped my gaze back to the giant creature.

Charging forward, I cut off two of its legs while the man stuck in webs shouted for us to get him out. Before I could see, Lyranlica had shot the spider again and it crumbled to the ground. A limp doll and nothing more.

Lyranlica pulled out some flasks, filling them with venom. Poisons. I wondered about this Argonian. Who was she? Few use poisons and ever fewer could sneak as well as she did. I rather admired it but it would just make it harder to kill her in the future if she kept popping up like she did then.

She looked at me then back at the man, cutting him down. I walked over to help him out of binds but he only pushed us away, stating he would kill us after claiming the treasure. He tried running. He didn't get far. An arrow in the back to paralyze him and a slash against the throat ended him easily.

"Well," I began while I watched Lerry run her hands through her feathers. " Funny seeing you here, Lyralica!"

She didn't look at me as she grabbed a book off of the man, gazed through its pages then put it right back down. "Good to run into you as well. 

"And call me Lerry. Terry and Lerry... sounds like something that would be in a book! Maybe even a scroll..." She stated, standing up and smiled at me. The bow she had looked like what those undead had with them, the blues faded.

"Scrolls?" I asked as she dodged another trap. Scrolls were used for messages and nothing more from what I knew in Valenwood.

Lerry shot another arrow and hit a weird skeleton that crumpled to the ground. She smiled coldly at the sound of it hitting then turned to me as we entered a chamber.

"The Elder Scrolls. They tell the destiny of people and empires. Our names sound like they would be in one. Since they rhyme and all..." 

We need this for some sort of door soon. We'll need to be careful though, these Nordic ruins have all kinds of traps." She told me, taking out a golden claw. So that's what she took off of the man. Huh. 

"Oh, got it. How are you avoiding the traps anyway?" I asked her as we approached a rather open area, pots hanging from the ceiling. She hissed at me to stop walking, crouched down, and shot an arrow. The pots fell to the ground, cracking and fire began to roar through the area. 

The undead didn't last long. 

"I've had practice. And please stop asking questions, we can't risk waking anymore of the Draugrs..." Lerry politely asked me as we approached a long hallway, the walls each having some elaborate story carved into them. At the end was a massive, circular door with three symbols on it.

Lerry looked down the back of the claw then turned the three rings on the door. After inserting the claw and twisting it, the door slid down and we could walk into what I assumed was the main chamber. 

I hoped I would get something out of this but to be honest, I might already have a chance at that. No matter how much a Brotherhood assassin could pay me, I was not killing this Argonian. Lerry seemed like a nice person and she could help me navigate this new world. 

It did feel out of place but... I really didn't understand this place. This land. I did hope she was willing to help me.

Going back on the contract was not a good idea in any way but she didn't seem like the kind of person that should die. I mean, yeah it was kind of my job but this was my call to make. If the Dark Brotherhood wanted her dead for personal reasons, then I'm not killing her.

Bats flew over our heads, taking me out of my thoughts. The sun shown through a small crack in the chamber and water streamed through it, sparkingly in the rays. A large wall with ancient words sat behind a coffin and a chest. Something good was in there, for sure. Maybe cheese. Please be cheese.

"Stay quiet. There's a draugr lord in that coffin. Difficult shitheads, they are. A word wall too, interesting. I've never seen one but I didn't think one would be in this kind of burial site..." Lerry said, grabbing an arm to keep me from making too much noise. "Take the front and I'll stay behind him." She whispered and snuck her way behind the coffin as I charged. 

The ancient box burst open, the echo wailing through the cavern as a blue-eyed, horned helmet draugr stood before us. 

It was decorated in armor and an enchanted sword, along with a sinister face. It did not look friendly, nor did it look easy. 

Gripping my swords, I charged.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
starlitmind
Review
starlitmind wrote a review Review · Aug 6, 2020

Hey there! I haven't read the previous chapter, but I decided to review this to get it out of the Green Room! :D
I like this chapter! Its filled with action and held my interest all the way throughout. It definitely makes me want to read the next chapter. Like brotherGeo mentioned, in some areas, I think you could use more description and vivid language. But other than that, I'm just going to point out some nitpicky stuff!

To start off, if you read your first paragraph, you'll notice that most of your sentences have the same length. This can be a little boring for the reader to read and might lose their attention. I think varying sentence length is a pretty important part of writing.

I wondered if anyone else had gone through here, if they had, I hope they made it out.


This is a run-on, so I would start a new sentence at "If they had, I hope..."

They were all that hard to deal with, quiet frankly. Bandits never really were, since they never seemed to hone their skills.


Did you mean they weren't all that hard to deal with? Also, I believe you meant "quite" not "quiet"

I strafed to the left and attacked from behind, I beheaded a creature.


This is a run-on which you can fix by adding "and" after "behind," or just starting a new sentence at "I beheaded"

She wouldn't have last long with broken ribs anyways...


"wouldn't have lasted long" is grammatically correct

"Good to run into you as well.


Small thing, you're missing the end quotation.

"And call me Lerry. Terry and Lerry... sounds like something that would be in a book! Maybe even a scroll..." She stated, standing up and smiled at me.


Haha xD you don't need to capitalize the "She" though

We'll need to be careful though, these Nordic ruins have all kinds of traps." She told me, taking out a golden claw.


You need a comma, not a period, after traps at the end of the quotation, and you don't need to capitalize "She"

"Take the front and I'll stay behind him." She whispered and snuck her way behind the coffin as I charged.


Same thing here. You need a comma at the end of the quote, and "She" shouldn't be capitalized.

Gripping my swords, I charged.


Ooh, exciting ending!

Overall, I think this is a pretty good chapter! You have some interesting characters and character relationships, and I want to read the next chapter :D I hope this helped!

Cow replied · Aug 7, 2020

Thank you!!!!

User avatar
brotherGeo
Review
brotherGeo wrote a review Review · Jul 22, 2020

Hello Comrade!
The one and only Bleak falls barrow, I could just see your characters fighting through it's halls, I've cleared that place so many times.


They were all that hard to deal with
I strafed to the left and attacked from behind,


weren't. A few grammatical errors here and there, some thorugh re-reading should help you find them.

The bow she had looked like what those undead had with them, the blues faded


Blue what, eyes, runes? Also if it was eyes, then try: their blue eyes faded.

I beheaded a creature.


Elaborate, what creature a skeleton, a draugr or maybe a skeledraugr.

Lerry shot another arrow and hit a weird skeleton that crumpled to the ground. She smiled coldly at the sound of it hitting


Yes a very satisfying sound. Skeletons are too weak, honestly a downgrade in my opinion, I played oblivion a few times and the skeletons there were no pushover.

I could only see a man trapped in webs on the other side of the room


Arvel the swift, Skyrim biggest loser, 100% mortality rate every time.

Difficult shitheads, they are


You don't need a comma here.

Going back on the contract was not a good idea in any way but she didn't seem like the kind of person that should die. I mean, yeah it was kind of my job but this was my call to make. If the Dark Brotherhood wanted her dead for personal reasons, then I'm not killing her.


Here comes the doubt, nice plot change. Those two make a great pair.

Overall another excellent chapter, the characters are well developed and now we get to see thier skills in action, hooray. The flow of the text was good and the description was great. A few places to improve description and grammar wise but still a pretty good chapter. I'm interested in where your taking this plot, I look forward to reading the next chapter!
Bleak falls barrow brings back memories, I gotta go replay Skyrim now.
Keep writing!
-brotherGeo

***
I wrote this review on my phone, sorry for any errors on my part if there were any, if not ignore this.

User avatar
Cow
Comment
Cow commented Comment · Jul 22, 2020

@Gravitem @LittleLee @brotherGeo

: )



I hope that when I am gone, someone still reaches for me like I reach for them
— Leya