z

Young Writers Society



A riddle for you - What am I?

by Cosmo


I send a shiver down your spine,

though I am not cold.

I can make you move,

though I do not touch you.

I am a vast species,

though I do not live.

I speak the truth of others,

though I may not be yours.

I make you cry and smile,

though I do not touch or tickle you.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
68 Reviews


Points: 2619
Reviews: 68

Donate
Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:10 pm
sarahjane97 wrote a review...



Hello! Sarah here for a quick review. :)

Well...um..hmm. I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to review this, as I've never seen a riddle submitted on YWS before! Way to go pioneering into the unknown. xD It definitely does qualify as literature because you have some nice poetic phrases in there! I especially like the "shivers" line. So creepy!

I guess my one suggestion, coming from a poet's point of view, would be to give this piece more closure. The "touch or tickle" line seems to light and happy to end an overall creepy riddle. Maybe you can add something a bit more dramatic or final?

Hope this helps, and you officially have me stumped. What is it??? TELL ME!!! xD

But seriously, nice work.

Sarah




User avatar
96 Reviews


Points: 4980
Reviews: 96

Donate
Sun Feb 24, 2013 1:02 am
noninjaes wrote a review...



Hallo Cosmo! I'm here to review this riddle for you today.

I must say, I do enjoy riddles and this one has gotten me rather perplexed. Reading through the words a couple times through, my first guess is emotions. Am I correct on that one? If it isn't emotions then I have no idea what else it could be. I'll have to sit on it for a while. Though, I certainly think your teacher will need a bit of time to figure this one out.

As this is an unusual literary form, there isn't too much that I can comment on. Though, what I can do is suggest a few changes in wording and grammar. My overall suggestion for these edits is that you treat it like a poem and try and get an even amount / as little words as possible in each line. My examples:

"I send shivers down your spine,"

"though I do not touch."

"though I do not touch or tickle."


Overall, a marvellous effort and I commend you for writing a riddle. I hope to see more literary works (and maybe even more riddles to solve) from you. And as always, keep writing!
- noninjaspresent >(> ==)>*




User avatar
739 Reviews


Points: 32546
Reviews: 739

Donate
Sun Feb 24, 2013 12:58 am
xXTheBlackSheepXx wrote a review...



Hm, this is a very tricky riddle! :D You've got me stumped, that's for sure. It reminds me of the riddles from The Hobbit, those are the best.

Sounds like the answer is something abstract, like...memories, or....fear....or something x) It's the species part that trips me up though!

I think maybe you should put the answer somewhere so that when people review they can let you know if the answer makes sense with the riddle and everything :)





When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him.
— Euripides