Frostbitten

by ConformandObey_ItsFun
  • June 24, 2008
  • Poetry
  • Other

The weather is gloomy in your eyes,
Winter has come again.
Like usual, you are frozen in your emotions,
And your lips are trembling.

I will not come again,
Not until Spring comes to thaw,
And I will watch the sun rise on your face,
But God knows it will only set again.

I will gaze at the sunset in awe,
Only to witness hypothermia setting in.
The sun will never stay long enough to thaw your amethyst lips,
And you will hibernate for the summer.

Your tears are so cold, they have froze,
You make them fall like snow,
Trapped in your avalanche, I have come to find,
You have blocked off my only path to you.

You are frostbitten.

Comments & reviews · 3
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ConformandObey_ItsFun
Comment
ConformandObey_ItsFun commented · Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:39 am

October Girl -

Thanks for the advice. I did notice some things didn't work, but I wanted to post what I had before I lost it, haha. I lose everything. >.<

I'll definitely have to rewrite some if it, though.

Thanks again. :)

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October Girl
Review
October Girl wrote a review · Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:51 am

Hmm this was a rather interesting poem, some how different, but in a good way 8) I like it... Alot although some parts just don't flow together well, try re-reading it and make a little bit of changes. It would make the poem a bit better. Best of luck and keep writing, your good at it.

-Max



Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
— Groucho Marx