Hello, Kayla! Welcome to YWS!
Be sure that you go and review works from other members before posting any more works of your own, okay? If you review other members, they're more likely to return the favor, and you'll get more people reading and making suggestions on your work!
That being said, here are my own comments.
This is poetry, right? In poetry, it's rather easy to just write what you're feeling and put line breaks between it. But when you read poetry in English class from poets that are now well-known and reputable, what kind of things do they talk about and how do they do it? Have you read a lot of poetry? If you haven't, I encourage you to do some searching and find some examples to learn from.
In my opinion, this poem reads almost like a journal entry with line breaks. The best part of this poem, though, is perfect to seed a better poem from!
Is it impossible to know me?
Am I not open enough?
For you to read me like a book,
And leave my pages rough.
Questions are powerful in poetry, but if there are too many, they sometimes lose their meaning. Besides that, though, the way you make a simile comparison and then expand upon it is really interesting to the reader. I want to know WHY your pages are left rough! Could you focus the poem on a reason rather than a vague idea?
Let me know if you have any questions about my comments, okay? Good luck with your poetry, and I hope to see you around a LOT MORE on YWS! ^_^ Feel free to ask me any general questions you might have as well.
-Hannah-
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