No more motion activated towel dispensers. No more battery powered toothbrushes.
8 line highways but still cramped,
work from home Internet ads
oh the T.V
We need to do what rich people do
"Don't you want to be so rich and pretty?"
"Don't you want to be pretty?"
It was the botox-denial train. It's easier to be pretty. Difficult things can be made easy, if there is money.
"Come on round!" The conductor says, "Wes got crickets to catch and ourselves to feed."
And they just put new 4 inch tall dolby screens on the armrests.
There are the passengers now.
They want to be transient in their own spacial way; they want that success.
Something secular and important.
It's that they don't feel people anymore. Not that their selfish or hateful, but because they are the only thing they perceive to be real; Themselves and nothing else.
So what do you get? A place run by wealthy, powerful but lonely people, usually past their sexual peak. A place where things are easy because when everything is easy, moderate things are fucking hard; And then stress mounts and the culture is vulnerable. They are helpless.
"Don't you want to be rich and pretty?"
"Oh dear, you are getting old but I can make you pretty again, if you are rich."
But it's a long, stressful road down the bountiful life of dissatisfaction.
and what is that dissatisfaction hidden under?
What the hell is that?
Patience or contempt?
...Pitiful, patient contempt?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
When I first started reading it, I was like "Oh God, here we go." But once you got to the dialogue I was immediately pulled in. I'm not sutre what drew me to this poem, but I felt the need to read it again. I have to say, I love your style of writing..very different...very intriguing. I don't know why, but I have no critique.
This was a unique style of poetry - I don't nessasarily like the format for this poem, but it works out. Just barely, though. I think this poem would be better in another format.
these were a nice additions to the poem, but I think you can make this poem ten times better by making the dialouge, dialouge or not, a bit more poetic.
First, this is repetitive. Pitiful, patient contempt isn't so moving to rephrase. I see the importance in the rephrasing, but the importance is small.
Secondly, this is such a direct poem. Why at the end would you ask the reader something? It seems to ruin the direct style.
Otherwise, good poem. I love the theme. =]