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by Cole
  • April 22, 2011
  • Poetry
  • Other

[Post Deleted]

Comments & reviews · 10
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AmiiLightwood
Review
AmiiLightwood wrote a review · Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:59 am

Wow. This is............ Amazing!
It flows so beautifully - I absolutely LOVE it!!!

On that day the God-man took His last, so tortured breath.
But two days more, on that third day, the Lord defeated death!

This is my favourite couplet. It - and the entire poem at that - is just brilliant.

Fantastic job! Don't ever stop writing!
Two thumbs up!
Amy.

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Dragongirl
Review
Dragongirl wrote a review · Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:14 pm

Excellent. Straight up good. I really enjoyed this piece. I normally like to put in a favorite line when I review a poem, but this have so many parts I like that its hard to pick.

On that day God-man took His last, so torured breath
But two more days, on that third day, the Lord defeated death.


That one would have to be up there though. Right next to it, of course, is this couplet.

The believers are addressed as fools, yet, they are all made new.
So look at me and see a fool, for I believe it too.


Anyway, nice job. You can defiantly see where your heart is. :) Keep it up.
~Dragongirl
P.S. I keep wanting to sign out with, DG you know, instead of Dragongirl, but unforunately DG is also the initials for Dollar General. Do you think anyone will notice? What would you do? ;)

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mikepyro
Review
mikepyro wrote a review · Wed Jun 22, 2011 5:14 am

oh my god this is so much better than most junk poems on here! :D
proffesional, powerful, sublime. very very good.
i will say the overuse of the exclamation points in the last five lines take away a bit of the power of the last point. i usually tear apart most pieces on here but I admit that this was quiet stunning for me, well done.

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Toto25
Review
Toto25 wrote a review · Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:57 am

Beautiful simplicity! I love the title! my favorite line

And on a cross He died all deaths and then He rose again!


this poem reminded me of a book I read. Here's a quote that I think applies to this poem

---Simplicity refers to an essential purity, a freedom from superfluities, useless accretions, and needless complications.
The Evidential Power Of Beauty by: Thomas Dubay, S.M.


Simplicity is a form of artistry that all of us have yet to master, but you have firm grasp upon it more so than others. That shows to me an understanding of life. This poem was wonderful! Thank you.
-Tory

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qaralynn
Comment
qaralynn commented · Tue Jun 21, 2011 5:34 pm

helloo Hayden!
I absolutely love this write! It's beautiful! And that's all I actually wanted to say XD
Love it!!
-qaralynn-

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HIGHWHITESOCKS
Review
HIGHWHITESOCKS wrote a review · Wed May 04, 2011 2:56 am

Call me the biggest fool of them all, because I absolutely love this poem you're written here! I've found quite a few Christian poems today, so I'm happy, and this one is one of the best! :D

The story told of a God made flesh to bring a dark world light.
But, in return, they spat on Him, and unleashed on Him their spite.

I don't know where else I've ever seen a more beautiful and poetic portrayal of Jesus Christ other than in the Bible! Well done my friend, this truly is a wonderful image. I can picture Jesus, going from place to place and preaching, met with jeers and insults from many. Wonderful picture (:

On that day the God-man took His last, so tortured breath.
But two days more, on that third day, the Lord defeated death!

The believers are addressed as fools, yet, they are all made new.
So, look at me and see a fool, for I believe it too!

There are whole books that attempt to simplify such a cornerstone of Christianity as you have done here. You're a regular theologian in your own right, my friend :D I love your rhyme scheme in this poem, and the words, and the message. You I'm glad to be counted among Christians like yourself. If you ever need a review, or want to talk or banter, I respond to most all calls!
- SOCKS

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Qoh16
Review
Qoh16 wrote a review · Wed May 04, 2011 2:06 am

I don't know but all your stuff is making me cry. I think that's a good thing. This poem was interesting. I liked the flow and the word choice. I wish my poems did that. (check em out to see what I mean :D) That's all I can really say about this because I found nothing wrong with this poem. Keep writing!!!! I hope to see your name on bookshelves at B&N. Good luck!!!

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Cole
Comment
Cole commented · Tue Apr 26, 2011 9:14 pm

Thanks!! :)

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kjr5horses
Review
kjr5horses wrote a review · Sat Apr 23, 2011 1:40 am

The story told of a God made flesh to bring a dark world light.
But, in return, they spat on Him, and unleashed on Him their spite.

Upon a cross they nailed Him, but what they did not know
Was that His fate was meant for them, and to hell they all would go.

But upon the cross God took with Him the burden of all sin,
So that, in the end His bride could live and Satan would not win!

On that day the God-man took His last, so tortured breath.
But two days more, on that third day, the Lord defeated death!

The believers are addressed as fools, yet, they are all made new.
So, look at me and see a fool, for I believe it too!

For in the land of Israel, God became a man!
And on a cross He died all deaths and then He rose again!

I believe in Jesus Christ! In Him sin is undone!
So let the Lord’s kingdom come and let Thy will be done!


I love what you have done here! This is an amazing piece, new and refreshing! I can not find the right words to explain how....how....how...um...AWESOME this poem is!

Keep up the good work!

KJR



You have light and peace inside you. If you let it out, you can change the world around you.
— Uncle Iroh, Avatar the Last Airbender